[Just A Mom]

I'm new on forum. Looking for anyone else who is having a difficult time parenting their newly adopted OLDER child with Reactive Attachment Disorder. I adopted my 12 yr. old daughter after having her in Foster Care for 2 yrs. THE DAY I adopted her she became like a different kid! Therapy isn't helping...they say meds. and it's a 50-50% chance that she will ever bond! Scary! I wanted to adopt another little girl but am afraid to. This kid is hurting the dog now too! HELP!!!!

[lucyjoy]

Are you using an attachment therapist and not just a regular therapist? I do have 2 kids who do not have the ability to attach but the therapist is still available to assist me in how to best help them be as successful as they are able and keep everyone safe. These kids can be really tough to parent. I've found Love and Logic and Nancy Thomas' material to be very helpful in dealing with my kids though I pick and choose what works for us. It may help to check out www.radzebra.org. There is a support list available there for parents of older or more severe RAD kids. Nancy Thomas' website is www.attachment.org
Do you have room alarms? Rules about where she can be in the house in relation to the dogs?
There are lots of parents in your situation and you are not alone in dealing with this.

[kamamsm]

Hi! We have a nine year old radish-lol! She's made significant improvement ( I believe). She came to us nearly wild. Has gone from destroying everything she could get her hands on & stealing & lying & manipulating & ... well you get the idea, to now she occaisionally steals & lies some, doesn't destroy anything, but LOVES to manipulate & control folks. Ours was on several psych drugs - & couldn't look you in the eye or have a rational conversation. She now is drug free and can sit and watercolor or watch a movie. She looks us in the eye. She loves hugs and hand holding - says thank you- I'm sorry- and once even, I appreciate that. It is not easy. It isn't over. It isn't always real with her either- still fakey if she can sneak it by us. And she's been known to tell strangers we were bad parents. So you aren't alone. We care. And as you see-- We soooooo understand.

[Lorraine123]

I have an 8 year old with RAD. We have been in attachment therapy for 2 years. We are seeing improvements, but sometimes I wonder if what we are seeing is really felt or is she simply learning how to act. She is still very fake and sneaking and manipulative and controlling and I could go on. However, the rages have greatly decreased and she will look us in the eyes more than before. Be sure to see an attachment therapist. Other types of therapy at a waste. The therapist must fully understand RAD or the child will manipulate the therapist and try to triangulate you. Be sure you are always in the room with the therapist. Good luck to you and keep posting. Many of us understand.

[Dr. Art]

You will need to work closely with a licensed mental health clinician who is appropriately trained and experienced in working with children with Reactive Attachment Disorder and other trauma-attachment problems. The therapist should be a registered clinician with the Association for the Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children www.attach.org or at least meet those criteria...if not, don't waste your time and money.

regards