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Originally Posted By gass@dnsonline.net

Now come on, isn't it time to get the children the families they so dearly deserve! I thought it was just my family... but now I see that this is a very serious problem in our world! I need to get out of Indiana that is for sure, but where next my friends. How can We make this problem known NATIONALLY so the kids can get a "forever family"?

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It saddens all of us who read this board when we hear of the "no success" that you and your family are experiencing and no it doesn't make any sense. But --- don't give up! Many of us have found one state or another that just doesn't seem to connect. Unfortunately, Indiana is one and it really doesn't make sense as they are one of the state's who do keep their website updated and are more upfront than others with the history of the children represented as available ... but when it comes to getting anywhere further than that it seems like the ball drops and no more is heard.

If you are as determined as you say, find out what you have to do to get a copy of your home study and perform a child search (via internet sites, Northwest Adoption Exchange, etc.) on your own. Eventually a worker will connect with you and then you will get a placement. Patience and endurance are the keys tho! And if you can't get your home study you need to contemplate putting the time and $$ into having one done by a private adoption agency. It will be worth it. Keep in mind - the kids need you ... and there is always a reason for everything - this delay, even tho too lengthy, may be the waiting for the child or children who need you to be there.

Good luck and keep us posted - we'll help you through it.

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Originally Posted By barki

Yes, it is a national problem. Some states are better than others, and some agencies are better than others and some caseworkers are better than others.

And don't we, as a nation, KNOW that we have too many children in foster care? Don't we KNOW that there is a problem? It's in the news at least once a month nationally. Maury Povich does a show a couple of times a year, Rosie O'Donnel does one too. Is it that we don't know, or is it really that for the majority it doesn't matter? Our heads know, but our hearts aren't hurt by it. Some people don't care, some care but don't do anything, others aren't touched by it in a personal way so they don't think about it and still others know and care but aren't able do much. There's your majority. It's going to take the few who do know AND care AND who can make the commitment to make a difference.

I try to turn things to positive avenues. Positive thinking, positive actions, etc. Negativity won't get us anywhere. My friends and family are all amazed at how long it's taken us to find a child. I tell them that for every time we didn't get a child, another family did. That's good. (Ok, Yrand, USUALLY!lol) I mention that there are other families who've been waiting years.

Patience and persistance. Don't lose sight of the goal. Meg rebuked my negativity earlier -- the silly card she had notorized DID do something: it got her son out of foster care. THAT'S a GOOD something!

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Originally Posted By yrand

I would say most probaly do but some wait until a child is older and has been shuffled around so much that they are desperate to place them before getting serious.I wonder the same thing sometime whenever I hit another roadblock.This latest incident is the straw that broke the camel's back and
I'm digging in my heels for a real fight.Why the system would rather send my girls back to their dysfunctional mother rather than to my home where they'll be loved and cared for I'll never know.When they're this young you'd think they wouldn't want to chance them being shuffled around so much
that they get damaged emotionally or physically by the new
boyfriend or husband of the moment.

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Originally Posted By po

We are one of the families that waited for years. We had just about given up. Then one day the call came that we would be perfect for a sibling group of 3. We lived in the country and were retired. The kids are here now, and doing well so far.

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What type of child are you interested in adopting? Indiana has alot of children available. Most of them are 8-18 years old. Are you working with the SNAP worker in your area?

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Originally Posted By Shelley

Debbie,
We have worked with our snap worker for yrs and she is the one who told us the state wont place a child out of race.
At first we wanted a 9 yr old when our kids were small and now that they are 11 and 9 we want one or two younger, we have been told that our children are not old enough to place an 8 yr old, that the child would be jelous. If we have any chance it is out of state I believe. Shelley