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I want to let all of you, especially yrand, know that we do not need to sit idly by while the state and the social workers abuse the system and us. We are not the problem, the bad parents and bad social workers are.
While talking to my licensor this week, I did something I should not have done. I lost my temper. After trying for 9 months to get my boys placed with me for adoption the DSHS workers have decided to throw another obsticle in my path. Being a single man they think I must be a pervert since I want to be a Dad. They want me to have a sexual deviancy test, without ever even having a suggestion of any wrong doing. I went up one side of her and down the other. I took the advice of Open Arms Foundation, I contacted everyone and anyone who I thought might help. I called every supervisor in the chain until I reached the top official in DSHS. I then called the Governor, and our States Senators, then I wrote a letter detailing the violtions of State and Federal Laws and sent it to every state rep we have. I then contacted my attorney and told him to file away on civil charges. I will mail copies of the letter to every major newspaper in the area within 200 miles.
I am going to get this in the press and in the minds of everyone in this state.
I recieved a call back from the Governors office and they have assigned an investigator. I also received a call back from one of the senators and they are also launching an investigation. Then the special assistant to the head of DSHS called me and said they are investigating but please don't go to the press. I told them too late, I had waited 4 months for them to resolve the issues and did not go to the press earlier because they requested I give them a chance. Too late.
So, we will see what happens. At least it has put a fire under their butts and they are reacting.

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Originally Posted By Donna

I'm just curious....is that normal? A sexual deviancy test? Don't they have to have some basis of suspicion or something? And what exactly is the test? I have not come across that on these boards yet and am really curious.....I'm sorry they are putting you through that. Keagan? MIke? You guys heard of that?

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Originally Posted By Meg

I had no idea that there was such a test. I'm glad I wasn't required to be tested. I did have to get a notarized statement that I am heterosexual, so I am a card-carrying heterosexual now. Weird, weird stuff that folks are worried about. Two minutes asking my family about our financial situation, two minutes on discipline and a notarized statement of sexual orientation. I would be amused if children were not languishing in the system while families wait, and wait, and wait.

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Originally Posted By Graham

I am willing to bet you don't live in San Francisco!
This is pure and pathetic ignorance. Do a little research and discover that gays sexually abuse children far less that straights, and they have a higher adoption success rate! Ask the powers that be to put that in their pipe and proverbially smoke it. Also, it is still legal to be a single male parent, last time I looked. And, as a clinician , what the heck is this sexual deviance test that an adoption agency mught be using? Let me know if, when, you find out! One for the books it is....

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Originally Posted By barki

I can't even think of the appropriate response here! A card carrying heterosexual and a deviancy test. Hmmm. No offense, Meg,(I know it wasn't your idea!!) but the card thing is really BIZARRE! A deviancy test? What would THAT entail?!?!

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A sexual deviancy test is where a man is required to be wired to a "peter meter" to see how much arousal can be measured while looking at pornography!! Talk about a violation of someones rights! I am not gay, I am straight. I am also a practicing Christian and it is an abomination what they want me to do. It is a violation of religious believes.
Is it normal, not at all, but because I am very outspoken and call them on violations of the laws, they are trying very hard to get me to quit. I already had to have a psych evaluation. I was required to go to a Doctor that is contracted by DSHS. I had to pay for it. It came back as: You are the type of person that the state should be looking for in a parent. You would make a wonderful parent."
Go figure.

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Originally Posted By Meg

Actually Barki, our son was in foster care in Florida, one of two or three states that have legislation making it illegal for "homosexuals" to adopt. In fact, I raised a child for many years with a former partner who was a woman which I discussed openly in my autobiography. I am now married to a man and hope/plan/pray/am working to ensure that we have a lifelong committed relationship. I plead the fifth on my sexual orientation (card or no card) but am sure it has no bearing on my parenting.

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Originally Posted By barki

The card doesn't really do anything, does it? Go figure.

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And who'd want to look at hard core (which it would have to be, wouldn't it, to appeal to a deviant? and how do they get to have that and not be prosecuted?!) pornography!? You would damage your soul to view such perversion. The whole concept is beyond comment. May I repeat myself and say with a shudder, "Ew."

You stay faithful to Christ and your God-given convictions and let "them" know that it is a violation of your soul and whole being to be asked to do something so wicked. I'm glad you have gone public. This is heinousness -- a deviant concept.

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Originally Posted By Shelley

Just wanted you to know any one who can accept a child as they are and encourage them to be their best and to care about all people, is the person that should be able to be the childs parent. All this red tape hurts the kids they end up with no family, not the worker....right now there are a couple of kids missing out on a great opportunity at being in my family.

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Originally Posted By Meg

That silly, meaningless bit of red tape had to be completed for my son to end his five year tenure in foster care and come home.

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Originally Posted By Mike

Well, that's news to me. Some agencies here have ALL applicants take a psych test, but I don't think out county does. Even so, I have no problem with a psych screening.

One thing that did catch my caseworker's attention was the fact that I mentioned that I already had an attorney. She was VERY surprised that I had one already, espescially when I gave her his name. hes one of the base family lawyers in our area and a personal friend of mine. Decided to marshall my troops before the battle rather than during it.

Sometimes, I think these social workers need to take a "Sexual Deviant Test". Seems to me they are AWFULLY interested in this stuff, beyond what could be considered rational.

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Originally Posted By Mike

Now I think I have heard everything. This sounds like some twisted Nazi experiment to me. I'm glad that you went to the press. Might I also suggest a quick call to the ACLU. I normally can't stand them, but this is the kind of abuse of power they excel in taking on!

If I can ask, what state do you live in? I thought Indiana was uptight and puritanical, but this is SICK.

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Originally Posted By Keagan

Of course I don't know you, nor the nature of the conversation that provoked you to release on them, but I ONLY WISH they had done that to me.... I would be the world richest man.

What ever you do, don't back off... make them bleed. It's the only language they understand. As I told YRAND, decisions as that did not come from the caseworker, but was cleared by higher ups.

I agree with Mike, this in the kind of case the ACLU lives for. In behalf of men adopting everywhere... STICK IT TO THEM.

Since you have already contacted the press, why not let us in on the state.

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The State of Washington, Region 4. Region 4 is King County where Seattle is located. I haven't heard back from the press yet, but I have heard from the Governor's Office and from Senator Patty Murray's office. I will keep you all posted about what happens and what newspapers will carry the story. I also will stick to my guns. I told them I will take this to the Supreme Court if I have to.