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Originally Posted By dena

We'll we had a placement hearing in LA for a nine year old girl yesterday, I got a call at lunch, saying that they had narrowed it down between us and another family, the case worker is supposed to call and talk to both families(phone interviews), they will have another meeting and then decide.
No dates for call or meeting was given. Are we supposed to just sit and wait by the phone or move on to someone else??
I am so discouraged, I told my husband that we are no closer now than we were when we started this whole process. Almost ready to give up.
any feed back would be helpful.
Thanks,
Dena

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Originally Posted By Meg

Hey Dena-

The answer probably is you should do both move on and wait anxiously. We waited two months to hear about a regulatory decison in our son's home state. I was totally depressed. The call came seemingly out of the blue that the way had been cleared and we were it!

Hang in there.

Meg

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Originally Posted By Lisa

Dena, I was never really good at the waiting part of adoption (evidenced by some of my prior postings!!). When I was trying for a placement I always had at least 3-4 homestudies out on children---that way there were always possibilities (ironically right after I was chosen for my son I was called about another child I had put in for) so my advice to you would be while you wait for news on this placement keep your eyes and ears open to other possible placements as well. Let your SW know that while you are definitely still interested in this little girl, until a definite placement takes place you are still "available" for consideration for other children out there. Good luck and God bless in your adoption journey. Don't give up---your child is out there waiting for you.

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Originally Posted By barki

Whenever we are going to committee for a child it is a very anxious time, no matter what! BUT don't stop sending out homestudies or considering other children while you are waiting for this child. It isn't disloyal to the child you are waiting for to also be pragmatic enough to know that if you stop and wait for each and every decision to be made regarding each and every child that you send a homestudy out to you will be trying to adopt for a decade or two. I guess this is the adoptive parents form of concurrent planning!

Don't drop your interest in this little girl. Play it through. I know it is hard right now, but this is the part of the process where you really need to have more patience than you ever thought you'd need. I do speak from the heart here, and from experience. IT ISN'T EASY, but keep running the race.

Also, don't neglect to keep in touch with the social workers who will be letting you know when you will be interviewed by phone, or whomever is giving you the information. DO NOT just wait for them to call. Don't bug then incessantly, necessarily, but don't forget to keep in touch on a regular schedule. The schedule isn't one I share with the SW's, it's one I adhere to for myself and my sanity, and so that I'm not calling willy nilly whenever the feeling moves me (which is way too often, I'm sure, so I make myself wait!)

When I've had to keep track of an on-going issue with one (or more!) child I ask the pertinent person how often I should check back with them. Do I need to talk to them once a week? Every other day? It just depends on the situation, so use your discretion. Most of the stuff I've waited on has been waiting for mail to go through and then be processed, so I usually set up a schedule of every other week. If things are hotting up I call once a week. I talk to MY caseworker once each week.

Don't give up. This is like labor for adoptive parents. I've never gone through labor, but it seems to fit from some discriptive stories friends have shared. LOL! And this may be false labor. Whichever it is, try to be patient with yourself, with others and go forward with the process.

Keep us posted!! Sorry for the long post, but it's the only kind I know how to do! LOL!!

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Originally Posted By Katrinka

I am in the same boat. I am being seriously considered for one little girl, but through experience have learned not "to put all my eggs in one basket." So I have inquiries out on about a dozen children. I am at the point I'm afraid I will suddenly be chosen to parent all of them and I will be putting up bunkbeds in the basement!! Those of you who have already responded to this thread have given me some wonderful words of hope and encouragement, to just keep "hanging in there" but be realistic. I couldn't keep going on if all my hopes were pinned on one child (I've already been through that). I do much better with this wait and see process by considering several children. Probably because I know I can say "no" if a placement happens that I finally decide I cannot handle. Take care!

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Originally Posted By barki

We were able to reach the point where we were comfortable with the IDEA of having to say no to a placement if we found that the child had more needs than we could handle, etc. Since we've not been selected yet we haven't had to cross that bridge. It's tough all the way around, though, so I just have to grit my teeth and plunge forward. LOL!! I used to have this erroneous idea that adoption would be less stressful than pregnancy. My, how my thinking has changed as we progress along!

Be sure to keep posting about how things are going for you.