[Natania's Mommy]

I got a call back from the adoption council, they have our paperwork and have passed it on to the little guys worker (this is the little guy with Cerebral Palsy)

Anyway they called me and gave me the name and phone number for his worker, but they advised me not to call for 5 days in order to give her time to read over our material.

So here I sit wondering, am I going to wait 5 days only to find out that he's at risk for FAS, or one of the other factors that we know we can't handle???? Or is this our son, just sitting there waiting for us to find him????

I looked up the phone number on the Childrens Aid list and he lives 2 1/2 hours away from us. This is going to drive me crazy all weekend.

Maybe it's best this way, it gives me five days to come up with a list of questions.

This is really important, if we get past the few no way factors, I want to have good enough questions that we walk away feeling like we understand what we'd be living with if he were our son. I need that clear picture because if they're interested in us, we will have to decide wether to proceed!

Here is what I know.

-He will be 2 this summer.
-He was born premature and has been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and mild delays.
-He currently receives occupational and physiotherapy.
-He can pick up small objects using his whole hand.
-He sleeps through the night.
-He eats table foods.
-He uses a modified crawl to get around.
-He can stand and sit with support.
-He babbles and makes sounds but will need speech therapy.
-His hearing is fine and his vision will be tested soon.

Now, if you were interested in adopting him what questions would you ask??? I'm drawing a total blank here!

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi,

Okay so I'm guessing by your post that you are okay parenting a child with physical limitations but not emotional, am I right? Is there alcohol exposure in his files that you know of or is this just something you don't want to parent and are worried it may be in there? We have 2 kids that are FAE and, while they're hyper active kids, they have no learning delays. As a matter of fact our 3 y/o just started head start and was put into a higher class room because she tested so high. I just wanted to point out that, like physical limitations, there are different levels of FAS or FAE.

I do want to say that this baby sounds great to me!! If he can stand and sit with support there is great hope that he will be able to walk, he may need the aid of crutches or canes but he very likely will learn to walk.

I am certainly no doctor, my only experience is parenting a child that is almost 2 that functions at a 3 week old level so, please, take everything I'm saying with a grain of salt.

I think things I'd ask are:

1. You mentioned that he has slight delays, I'd ask what his exact delays are. Obviously it walking if he needs support to stand but are there any other.

2. I'd ask if it was possible to speak directly to his therapists. They will be able to describe their treatment plan for him and let you know where his strengths and weaknesses are.

3. I'd ask to speak to his current caregiver (I don't know if he's in foster care or not) and ask his daily needs as far as care is concerned. The SW may know this info.

4. I'd ask to see his medical reports (if you accept the referral for him these should be given to you)

5. Does he have any behavior issues? Some children that are unable to communicate get frustrated and this can be a problem. If communication is a problem you can borrow a sign language book from the library and teach him simple signs to help him communicate with you until his speech improves. Things like drink, more, mommy, daddy, bed, please, thank you. These are easy to learn and my kids (although they didn't have a speech problem another child that was with us did) loved doing the signing.

And, of course ask if he has any of the issues you know you don't want to deal with.

Some positives I saw in what you already know about him:

1. He is able to crawl to get around. This shows he's got determination

2. He's able to eat solid foods so there are no apparent eating issues.

3. He can stand and sit with support.

4. He can make noises, this suggests he may be able to learn to speak. Believe it or not, his lack of speech may be simply due to no one talking to him. I've been through it with 2 kids that we've had with us and it's amazing how quickly they can pick up words.

If you do get a referral you will receive his entire file to read over. As you read it take notes and research anything you don't understand fully. You will have more than one opportunity to turn down the referral if you find out information that upsets you.

Best of luck. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers that the child that you are meant to parent finds his way to you soon. Sorry for such a long post.

Michelle

[Original Mike]

I can fully relate to the impatience you are feeling. After I read my new son's file and told his workers "Yes"
, we're now waiting for his worker to send the requisite paperwork to ICPC in Ohio. Once both states grant approval, we can begin visits with him.

As most of my friends will tell you, patience is not one of my strong suits. In my line of work, I'm used to picking up the phone and it's done that day. My personal assistant jokingly calls me her "Type A Terror".

While I wait these weeks for ICPC approval, I've been busying myself around the house. I'm cleaning everywhere from attic to cellar. Not because a new son is coming, but to keep a New Year's Resolution to get rid of stuff we don't need. I'm also redecorating one of the bedrooms into a home office/library. It does help pass the time.

Once the weather breaks, C and I are going to look at converting one of our outbuildings into a home gym. C has expressed a desire for somewhere that he can work out, and our impending arrival is also very athletic.

In the meantime, just be patient. I know how hard it is.

Mike

[sues250]

Congrats and hope the wait goes fast-
Some things I would ask for would be copies of all evaluations done and ask what tests have been done.
Evaluations in all therapies and specialists especially nuro and orthopeditic if one was done.
Some of the tests such as eeg or ekg cat scans etc. would be nice also so when you get him home you do not have to repeat these.
I have worked with kids with disabilities for the past 20 years and it sounds like this little guy is on the right track doing that much at 2 years old. Good luck.

[Gabby'sNana]

Can you visit with him first? That would help. Good luck on whatever you decide!
Kelly