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Originally Posted By Pam

After talking to his foster mom, and being advised to be very tough, we spent two hellish days doing just that, but the result has been that we have the loving, sweet little boy back that we THOUGHT we had in the first place!!! all is going well now and we are settled into a routine. I am glad we hung in there!

Thanks for the support when we needed it!

Pam

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Originally Posted By Linda

Congratulations Pam. I knew you would work it out. I am so happy you got your sweet son back.

That is exactly what I had to do with my daughter. Her psychiatrist told me to act like it was boot camp. Very structured and firm rules. Well, we still do that and it is the only way to raise her. Of course there is also a great deal of love but with certain kids you have to be that way. They know you love them when you have rules.

I am so happy things are working out for you.

I will be getting visits soon from a little girl I hope to adopt. I can't wait. I may be here asking for help from you!

Take care. My best to you and your family.

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Pam, I'm glad to hear your situation is improving.

PLEASE REMEMBER.......................................... .

Be consistent, that means the same PREDICTABLE response EVERYDAY. I know you would prefer to parent him in what you would like to consider a more "loving", "soft" approach, but sometimes Love Must Be Tough, not mean, but firm, consistent, in time (not soon) he will appreciate your softer side, and will realize that his behavior has been the deterrent to that being appreciate.

I recall when your husband had his talk with him your first inclination was to "console" him. Let him think, "consoling" can create a duplicity in discipline and the authority of your husband.

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Sorry for the title - it's just that it seems likely that your son is back in "honeymoon". You should expect another testing period in a while. It's normal.