[L8ebug]

My daughter is coming home after what seemed to be an eternal wait. We are flying to her state to get her and then flying back. It will be a short one day there one day back trip. My question is what should I do before hand to prepare for her coming home. What things should have already, should she start school immediatly( she comes home on a saturday, start school on monday). I am just trying to figure this out ahead of time.

[lucyjoy]

If it were me, I would home school for awhile to help her bond(if you're allowed to before finalization). This is a really big change for her and likely she will have lots of fears she may not be able to share with you yet. While this is such a joyous and exciting time for you, there is a lot of loss involved with her. There is likely also a mixture of excitedment at having a forever family and fear that it might not be forever and the fear of not knowing what to expect.

It may be good to get her into a routine with you so she can predict what will happen and know what to expect as she may not ask for things she needs.

I wouldn't put too many things in her room to start out. It may overwhelm her. I usually start with new blankets, a few new clothes, a couple books and a few toys. She could bring a lot with her or absolutely nothing. I added small things as the child was able to handle it.

Congratulations!!!

[J.Ro]

Talk to her foster parents about routines and expectations there. Follow that, adding some of your own. Stick to them and be consistent and firm.

Buy her a phone card and present it to her in front of the foster family. Have her FM write down their phone number on a card for her. This way she will know that she's not completely losing them. My kids called their former FM nightly for about the first 2 weeks, then about 5 times weeky, now it's down to about twice weekly. I felt this was good for them as they moved about 700 miles away from their always home.

If you have time, take a driving tour and take pictures of her important places. Our kids took us to their first schools, to where their birth mom and half sister had lived. They weren't wild about us taking photos, but we did and when they are older they will have the option of looking at them.

Don't make food an issue initially. Find out what FM cooked and what your daughters favorites were. Let her help at the grocery store the first shopping trip (although we went in with a no soda/junk food policy for our house, so they understood that was just something our house doesn't do).

Don't put her in school immediately. Just spend some time together. When it feels right, take her for a visit. You'll know when to enroll her. We were lucky because our kids came in the summer and we had 2 weeks before school. They were ready when it arrived.

Limit tv time and play family games. It's a fun way to bond.

Congratulations!

[kamamsm]

I so agree with Lucy Joy- homeschool awhile- bond, share, get to know one another. What possible scholastic lesson could compare to learning how to be a family? Congrats!