[Archive]

Originally Posted By Keegan

It's been a fight. And it shouldn't be that way. It should be a joyous and a wonderful experience. But after a few rounds with the state you have to REALLY want to adopt... and it shouldn't be that way.

This is the week when a decision will be made on a child for whom I have lobbied and prayed. It looks like it's going to happen, I having second thoughts. Suddenly everything I know about him is beginning to sink in. The seriousness of his behaviour, issues surrounding his past, his "parents", history of violence. Although, I'm so pumped that I can hardly sleep at the same time it's anti climatic. I'm between three boys. Don't laugh but I actually hope it falls through I'd be another step more assured of knowing God's will as it pertains to my son. Better for a door to close than all doors to appear open.

That's the operative word "appear". Of course I'm afraid of all three boys falling through and I'd have to wait until summer (because I wouldn't want to get the kids towards the end or middle of a school year). I'm hoping to have my son by the end of the year in time for the beginning of the second half of the school year.

Will let you all know... Please pray for me...

Thanks,
Keegan

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Graham

I can't help thinking that you should not be on the outside, waiting for the godlike decision of unknowns. You should be involved in the decision, even if your opinion is the minority and the choice is not you. Please do one thing - if the choice is you don't allow your joy to veil your absolute need to ensure that every fact of the child's history is disclosed to you. Ask if any facts about the child and any of his birth family are being withheld from you because of confidentiality (of the birth parent or family member). If the answer is yes, ask what general area that information concerns. Consider not accepting placement unless that info is released to you. I only bring this up because too many have suffered from unnecessary secrecy in adoption, and that includes adoptive parents.
Best wishes for a wonderful decision and preplacement if it works out.
Graham.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Keegan

Graham & Company:

Thanks for your prayers and words. I didn't get the child. I can't tell you what a relief that was. Now I can go forward with a new dream.

Thanks for your comments Graham. I've oftentimes said the same. The adoptive parents are treated as though the affinity we feel towards a child is invalid. Only THEY can make the call. THEY know what's best for us pathetic people grovelling for a child.

I wonder if this is what's it's like being in the Miss America contest, after the "talent" contest, you must think, with a fake smile on your face, "There's only two more to go." You don't make the cut. Meanwhile you ask yourself, what did I say wrong?

Yes, I'm groveling for a child. To my knowledge all my parts and pieces are in operative condition. How much easier it would have been had I found the right woman earlier in my life and had kids the old fashioned way. I don't think I could possibly appreciate and want them as much as the child I hope to adopt. But it sure would have been easier.

I know my son is out there somewhere. It sounds stupid, if not a bit suspicious, but sometimes I miss him. I'll go to his room and talk to him. I suspect it's more like a prayer. Afterwards I close the door to keep the cats out, and wait. Yes guys, I've lost it. Since I've started the adoption process my kid is the only thing that matters. He's my raison d’être. He's given me an expectation and purpose to live. I'm not looking for him to fulfill my dreams, I only hope I can help him realize his. That will fulfill my dream.

Pray for me, I’m taking another spin around the track maybe this time if I’m nice the adoption gods will have mercy on me, stop playing head games and grant me a man child

Keegan

[Archive]

Originally Posted By yrand

I know how you feel I've been passed over twice in 6 months
and I'm currently disputing the last decision. What did me good was last night at an adoption orientation meeting,amongst
some newbies just starting down the adoption trail, I heard some wonderful speakers. One was a longtime foster mom who had
cared for 15 children and the other a single mom who had adopted two down syndrome babies now active teens. The foster mom bought her latest baby with her a sweet little half native
american half mexican boy just 5 months old. His mom was a user who has had 5 kids already. He was as small as a newborn
and while she spoke it was all I could do to hold back the tears. While she talked she had handed me the baby to hold and I got to hold that precious little bundle for about 30 minutes and give him all the love and prayers I could put on him! I realized what I was doing this for just such a one as little Manny. So next time you feel yourself getting weary in
well doing go hold a little one and it'll change your frame of
mind!