[mom4jc]

Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on this...my son has 2 half brothers somewhere who are living with their biological family members. David has no idea that they exist-he never met them, and the bio family decided against pursuing custody. The family is very impaired-lots of drugs, etc. Obviously we don't have any contact with any of them,but if I wanted to I could probably find them. At what point, if ever, do I bring up these brothers?David knows he's adopted but at 6 doesn't know what that means. Anybody have any input so I can be prepared ?Thanks!

[dadfor2]

mom4jc

not that this is going to help, but i think it all depends on his attachment to you and how long you have had him for.

i can only speak on my experience...we have two boys, siblings. we just found out about a few months ago, that birth mom had another baby.

we decided not to tell them yet due to all the transitions that they have had and they havnt been with us for a long time plus the older one isnt that settled in our home quite yet.

but we will tell them. they need to know.

have you thought of doing a life book for your son, and kinda talk about the brothers that way? kinda like a story with pictures of his siblings in them, if you can get them. sometimes its easier to read a story about their lives and all the horror and the family tree stuff for them.

but it all depends on his attachment and how long he has been with you...but i feel you do have to tell him.

dadfor2

[mom4jc]

He's been with us since he was 14 months old so he's very attached. I like the idea of a life book...he loves to hear about the day we met him and what he did before he lived with us,etc.I don't have any pix but I do know their first names...I'll start working on this!

[dadfor2]

mom4jc

lifebooks are hard to write...remember this is not like a scrapbook...its a book about their lives...

its a great treasure for your son. can you get a copy of his birth certificate? thats could be a page in his book...their are lots of ideas on lifebooks.

when i did my sons lifebook, it ended up being so thick....but he had been in 6 different foster homes....

its basically about their birth mom, birth dad, the day they were born, you try to put in as much details as possible and of course why he was removed, but the language being age appropriate.

there is a book called 'lifebooks...treasure of life'...ill get the exact name for you...this is a great tool for making a life book...and the reasons why its important for kids to have them.

my older son calls his 'my baby book'....even though we have no pictures of him as a baby....he carried it around with him for two days...(never even opened it)....he just loved having his own book....

anyway, before you start, i would read up on it and the purpose. you got your son at 18 mo, so it might be easier for you to write his book then it was for me....my son came at 7...lol...alot happened to him in his 7 yrs...

good luck...if you want the name, ill get it for you...but well worth it.

dadfor2

[mom4jc]

Thank-you!