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Originally Posted By Manuel Parks

Is there anything special which should be given to the school
and especially the teachers when my wife and I get our
adopted children?

Should we be concerned with the assignments our children are
given which frequently seem to be biased against adoption (i.e. family tree, bring in a baby picture, family history...)? What can be done to help them learn what to say
and what not to say?

Should we send them to school immediately after receiveing
them if it is in the middle of the school year? Or, should we
allow a period of adjustment before sending them to school?

Should we be concerned if our birth daughter goes to a private
school and the adopted children will not be able to also
attend the same school until next year? Could this cause
a significant amount of sibling rivalry and feelings of
favoritism towards our birth child?

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Originally Posted By Graham

Very good questions indeed - I'm going to let the board members pour out their advice on these. School issues are often neglected in adoption, and yet they are so important because our kids spend about half their lives there. There are three environments for acting out (home, therapy and school), and helping the teacher become your partner can be a terrific asset. Even if your child does not have an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan), otherwise known as the best way to get a decent education in many public schools, you can still work with your child's teacher on specific goals to work on in both environments. The teacher will appreciate your participation and help, he or she will reinforce what you want to achieve, and your child will benefit greatly knowing that you care enough to join with the teacher and present a united front.

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Originally Posted By Kris

I was a substitute teachers assistant in Special Education for 5 yrs. I worked for our County Office of Education. I have never heard of an IEP( Individual Education Plan) being the best way to get a decent education. This means your child is in Special Ed and these are the goals set up for the child to be met by the end of the year or sooner. If the child has not met the IEP goals by the end of the year, they are usually rolled over to be part of the next years IEP goals. Special Ed classes are usually smaller, but usually have more behavior problem children. They also usually have at least one teachers assistant. My husband and I are in foster parent classes and the first thing I am looking for is a child AT GRADE LEVEL so I can place them in private school. The private schools here have no special education and will not take children behind in academics. I asked you a subsidy question Graham, thanks for the response. I am going to try to get the same fostering amount after I adopt so I will be able to send the child to private school. I hope this is a valid reason to the social worker. We do own our home, but do not have much money. Thank you Graham.

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Originally Posted By Kris

My husband and I are in foster parent classes and my bio 8yr old attends private school. Private school would be wonderful for your foster children especially! Does your private school have Special Ed? Ours do not. There is a good chance the foster child will be in Special Ed. If your school does not accomodate, the foster child may have to remain in public school. I beleive it is illegal to keep your child out of school for the rest of the year. I would let the foster child have one week to adjust before sending them to school. Otherwise, they may get behind academically and they are probably already behind. If you are really stuck on a private school like I am, maybe home schooling might be an option. Otherwise, if you make the child change schools at the beginning of the new school year, it might be upsetting. This foster child has been through so many changes already. As for the foster child being jelous of your bio child attending private school, I don't have a guess. Good luck

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Originally Posted By Kris

I posted incorrectly

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Originally Posted By Graham

Just a thought on home schooling - most jurisdictions don't allow children in foster care to be home schooled. Some may not be happy with private school either, especially if it's church-related. You should make a call or two to find out local policy.

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Originally Posted By anstee@chesapeake.net

Why are so many people negative about "special education"? It is there for a purpose and altho many of the children who are in foster care and/or in the process of being adopted won't need it their total education experience, it can be a real benefit in helping them maintain their academic grades during times of change/trauma. IEP's are designed to focus the child's needs/abilities not to allow them to escape current grade levels. If all of the children in the schools were tested, it would become evident that most of them are not at grade level vs. just the special ed kids who are continuously tested being off-grade level! Special education for many years was only for behavior problems and altho they do exist most of your special education students in today's society are those requiring extra services not just behavior situations and those behavior situations don't last long in special education anymore at the regular schools - they are identified and placed where necessary. I have children in both regular and special ed placements and neither is better nor worse. And ... FOR INFORMATION most private schools do have special education available ... their students requiring extra services are receiving them partial time from the nearest located public program! Don't give special education a bad name! It deserves all the respect they earn and they earn lots of it - especially the teachers - they do so much for kids needing them - both short and long term!!!!!!

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Originally Posted By Graham

Hi Kris, I thought I'd have to explain that IEP comment a little more! So many adopted children need additional assistance at school for a variety of reasons. Many have soft neurological effects of interuterine substance exposure, including nicotine and alcohol. Others have subtle neurochemical imbalances due to trauma or inadequate attachment as a toddler. Some have challenging behaviors, some fear success and try to fail to be safe, and others just didn't have tip top genes and need some extra help to learn in a class setting. Thankfully we have special education as a federal requirement, with small classes, twice the number of aides, extra materials, resource specialists, individual teaching plans, adaptive PE, skilled and dedicated teachers and access that is guaranteed by federal law. As an adoption social worker I often pushed to get children who could qualify set up with IEP's so that they could access the higher quality classrooms that a Learning Handicapped environment provided. With classes of 40+ and tired, disillusioned teachers the regular classrooms can be a grim experience. Not everywhere of course, but certainly where I live. For the record, of my younger kids one is in private school, one is in regular grade school, and one is in regular school with an IEP and resource specialist assistance.
Graham.

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Originally Posted By Kris

I reread my post and I don't see where I feel Special Ed is bad. I worked in Special Ed and if I thought it was all bad, I would have quit earlier. It has it's place and has benefits for certain individuals. Yes, if kids were tested, many of them would qualify for Special Ed. Most of the children in Special Ed unfortunately have a really low self esteem because of it. My sister was very embarrassed her whole life. I do not want children who are falling behind in Sp Ed classes unless they are really behind. Most of them develop a low self esteem. Maybe many special ed students are smarter than regular ed students, but their self esteem pays a huge price. Most of them stay in Special Ed their whole life and never move up to regular ed. The workload in Special Ed is much lighter and the work is easier. It is a drastic change to move up to regular ed classes. I have worked with many wonderful teachers, but none of us want our children in Special Ed. I do beleive the private school system is usually better than public, but it is not an option for most people. I hope this set the record straight.

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Originally Posted By Tammy

They love to hear( and ask alot) if your family attends church. Also they love to hear the child will attend private school. We have four county social workers. I been involved with three of them and the fourth taught our foster classes. He also stated during foster classes that church is a wonderful experience for children. It helps build sound moral ground for children and gives the children a positive circle of influence of people. I am disappointed to hear others don't care.

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Originally Posted By yrand

So Graham am I right to assume that special education classes would qualify for subsidies even if you want your child to go to a private school or only public schools? Here in Colorado
they're still arguing over school vouchers so there's no help
for parents who want quality education for their children. I
agree that a parent should get whatever help a child needs and forget about self esteem. Self esteem is helped by knowing how to read and write! Alot of these kids learn to have self esteem and feel good but can't spell.

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Originally Posted By Graham

Hi Tammy,
Of course the policy has to do with the doctrine of separation of church and state. You can't legally use federal funds (foster care) to support a church-based institution. However, your point about religion and our kids is a very good one. It is certainly true, for children whose experience of adults is that they are often out of control, that the idea of a higher power that can be trusted is relieving. Especially for severely attachment impaired children, the routine of church attendance and worship of an all-powerful higher being contributes to a sense of well-being in the worlds of home and family. At least until the teen years!
I bet that last point will get a thread going for the group......

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Originally Posted By yrand

In my case I attended private religious school for two years
and liked it. It was a small two room school with only six
kids in my eighth grade class.To say the least it was alot different from the big public schools I attended the first six years. I learned alot more and didn't have to deal with the harrassment from pre-pubescent boys! I didn't rebel until after my mom died and we were split amongst the relatives. I think rebellion comes from a combination of factors teenage angst
being just one of them. If the parents are consistent and
strong in their beliefs and behaviors, not wishy washy or
hypocritical (do as I say not as I do) teens don't necessarily have to go crazy and rebel.

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Originally Posted By Rinda

I am a special education teacher and a significant % of my class role has always been kids who are in foster care or have been adopted. If a child has a real need and is not succeding in regular ed they are entitled to special ed services(IEP) or a 504-Plan. It is both good and bad, but nothing is worse then seeing a kid who has been through hell, fail year after year in school. As a foster parent I know of kids in other foster homes and those that return home to biological parents that this happens to. For example I remember one little six year old who was suspended from school just about every week due to fighting. He had a behavior problem that at least justified a 504-plan, but he ended up doing 1st grade 3 times and no one addressed the problem.

On the flip side of that, I tried and tried to get a four year old boy I had this summer who had a severe speech problem, into pre-school special ed. I did not have the social workers support because she knew the kid would be returning to his biological mother so the local school district would not provide services. (I did not push the matter, because I knew he was going home too.) He'll get speech next year in kindergarden.

Does special ed really help anyone? I think it at least keeps kids in school and provides some program to improve the child's life.

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Originally Posted By yrand

In his case the behavior was probaly the main problem that kept him from advancing which perpetuated the problem because being held back makes them act out worse. If the bad behavior had been nipped in the bud, which you can't really do as a foster parent, he might have done better in school. It's hard to address those issues if they know you aren't their permanent family.