[Four4More]

I am adoptive mom of six. Two of the adopted children don't live with us anymore and, due to extreme safety measures, they won't. I am here to focus on the ones who are with us. Two are grown and were adopted internationally. One was from foster care and has many special needs (bipolar, cognitive delays, but such a sweetheart. He is almost 11). We got our youngest straight from the hospital (private adoption) and she is now 8 and has some LD problems. Both had been sexually abused by another child we adopted, but he is now gone and they are in therapy, doing well. We don't plan on adopting again, but have had a lot of experience and may need to ask questions, from time to time, about Mr. Almost 11. Anyone else have a child with cognitive delays? My son's bp is well under control. I do worry about whether or not he should be in LD or CD. His IQ is 75 and he is in LD, functioning more on the low side of his class. His daily living skills are not so great. Maybe his birthmother, who we know did drugs, also drank and perhaps he has FAE. He DOES seem to have a good grip of right and wrong, but he really is spacey. Last summer he lost FIVE pairs of shoes. Yes, shoes! His sister, who was in his LD class this year, is younger than him but used to "take care" of him, as far as reminding him to do this and that. Looking at him now, not jumping to concrete conclusions, it would seem that Mr. Almost 11 will probably be able to work in a sheltered workshop (we have a good one here) and live only semi-independently. His living skills are worse than his IQ. Again, this is a delightful, precious little boy and we are grateful to have him. I'd love to talk to anyone else with a child who may not ever be able to be independent or who currently has some cognitive difficulties and needs a lot of help in school.

[Four4More]

By CD class I mean cognitively delayed, not conduct disorders. Sorry.

[lucyjoy]

Welcome. You sound like you've been through a lot. With kids with multiple problems, it's tough to know just where to focus.

My kids show up with other people's shoes, maybe they have your sons 5 missing pairs......

[Debra]

Sorry that I have no advice, as my children are older and "gifted" but also attachment disordered and ADHD and bipolar, which creates it's own type of "issues".
As a long time reader and poster on this board (among others: CABF, ADSG, etc) I think I might recognize your family's story, but obviously I respect your desire for anonymity.
*IF* you are who I think you are (and even if you aren't), your family has obviously endured (and survived) more than I can even imagine, but it speaks volumes that you are seeking advice and wisdom from these boards. There are a lot of smart and understanding people here, and I lurk often (and post occassionally) to keep my sanity intact.
Good luck and I hope you get some informative replies to assist you in raising your son to be a healthy, happy adult.
Wish I could be more help, but if it's any consolation (and I'm sure it isn't) I worry daily that there is just no way either of my kids will ever be able to take care of themselves, despite their high IQ's. They have very few social skills and almost no common sense.

[aMarylandfamily]

... recognized this story and was so glad to see you post and as the above poster has said will leave your identity unknown so that you continue to post ... we don't have the issues you discuss but know several do and look forward to the information they provide as well as your continued updates. You have been thought about often and sent wishes from afar. Welcome or welcome back ... stick around - us oldies (but goodies) still have alot to offer and alot to learn!

[mikki86]

You are obviously an awesome mom! I have taught secondary and elementary special ed. for 17 years. Your precious son reminds me of a sweet boy in my class this year. Eric reminds me of Dory from "Nemo" and I say that in the most loving of ways. His short term memory has many gaps to say the least. He can lose a pencil while sitting at his desk in the course of seconds. He literally has no idea where it went. I had him put his pencil in the same place when he was done using it and that helped some, but he continued to have problems. Eric can read anything you put in front of him, but he has much difficulty with comprehension. If any of this sounds like your son and/or you have ANY questions, please e-mail me! God Bless you and your family!