[Wilsonta]

Deedy-

What you have done takes more patience then I think I could ever have!

I think you gave me some true insight. I have been wondering which kid is more disturbed! We have one that is constantly driving me crazy with his defiance & hostility then we have one that is quite pleasant most of the time, but tells us he wants to chop us up from time to time.

I kept wanting to believe that the pleasant one is the one we are reaching, but I doubt it. He's more loving & easier to manage, but I'm sure there is alot going on in his head that we just cannot see!

I love that you made progress with most of your kids, I need that type of story. It just seems that the process is going to be such a tremedendously hard road, I question if I can make it!

Thanks for the insight!

[DeedyDavis]

Well..it was hard...no doubt...I lost valued long time friendships, even...they thought I was too strict...they were afraid for their children too...

My own mother told me to send those kids back...we had a saying from our pre adoptive classes no deposit no return...

For a long time long term goals were not even cpnceivable...wasn't sure there would be a next week sometimes...I worried about and planned for the right now and sometimessort of "flew by the seat of my pants" as the old cliche goes.

I am glad this forum is here...and very glad I can help you through the rough times...this forum has already been a tremendous help to me...It is wonderful to know I was not nuts and imagining all that stuff If RAD was jnown about...my SW and therapists either missed that class or assumed I understood it.

I can still remember the blank shocked faces on them as I related time and again the strange things the kids did and said...


I added you to my prayer list for the courage and the peace you will need to hang in there...there will be tears and and moments where you will be so exhausted you think you cannot go on for another moment...prayer and the church got me through...

Amd for the most part they are such wonderful young people with such great compassionate hearts...it was worth it...

I felt like a jailor a lot of the time...just keeping them contained from the outside world...not only for protection of others but for their own protection from their inability to act apropriately with other people...and end up in prison...at the time it felt like it was never going to end...but I am here to tell you it did...and we won the battle and the war