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Originally Posted By Julie

We have four biological children, two which no longer live at home. The two still at home are 18 and 20. We have adopted three children, a set of bi-racial twins now 4 and a 7 mo old African American baby. My question is,would there be a problem with sibling order if we chose to adopt a waiting child older than the twins? Our agency deals strictly with bi-racial and African American infant adoptions. We would like to add another child but feel we may be getting to old for another infant when the youngest turns one year, and we may begin again. We are presently 48 and 45 yrs old. What is your opinion? We know would have to switch our homestudy to a state agency before we could proceed.

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Originally Posted By Graham

Hello Julie,
Thanks for your question. it's a very good one and, of course, the answer is: "it all depends...." on who the children are, their temperaments and needs. In general, I think keeping birth and adopted order intact is a good idea. It tends to make sense to the kids, to you, and to the world. However, to do important things we often have to step outside the "safest way", so placing above your adopted children in age might be the right thing - if the children are able to be flexible enough to adapt to your doing so. I suspect you are that kind of "brave" family.
What does everyone else think? I hate being so general!
i know I'm not the only "expert' around here!

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Originally Posted By Carla

We have 2 birth children (9-male and 5-female) 2 adopted half brothers (7 and 10, finalized last January) their half-sister (16) whom we are working towards adoption on, and also a pair of foster twin girls (1), that we have had since birth and hope to adopt. So in essense we have very much stepped out of the birth order with our additions, and it has worked out wonderfully! I am not going to be as presumptuous as to say that all cases such as our work out as wonderfully, but ours sure did!

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Originally Posted By Graham

Good for you!
Except for your 9 year old boy, the rest of the foster and adoptive additions to your birth order seem compatable. Three boys in close age together is a special challenge (three is always hard), but "hard" does not mean "can't happen". It just takes some extra attention and probably work.
Congratulations!
Graham.

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Originally Posted By Tania Galloway

We have a 6 month old daughter and would like to adopt a child or sibling group between the ages of 2 and 5. Would this have a negative affect on our birth-child and/or the adopted? Does her age put us at an advantage or disadvantage in this situation?