[artimenia]

I request your assistance with the Adoption of Special Needs Children research project. I will only use the results in the paper I am writing for English 112 at Green River Community College. This research will help me understand what keeps so many special needs children from being adopted and if there are issues
in the adoption process that need immediate attention. I have a personal interest in this research as well, since I would like to adopt a special needs child later in life. Responses will be completely anonymous. Thank you for your help!!

Please answer these questions if you adopted a special needs child within the past five years:

1) What motivated you to adopt a special needs child? What are or were your biggest challenges?

2) If you adopted through a public agency, how would you rate your experience?

3) If you adopted through a public agency, were the waiting times reasonable?

4) What advice can you offer to those who are planning to adopt a special needs child?

5) If you have biological children, how do they relate to the adopted child?

6) Was the support you received more or less of what you expected?

7) What do you wish you had done differently in the adoption process?

8) In your opinion, what is the biggest obstacle people face when adopting a special needs child?

9) In your opinion, what can be done to ensure that more special children are adopted into families? What other comments can you offer?

10) What kind of preparation would you recommend for someone adopting a special needs child?

Thank you in advance for your help and I am sure your answers would be of interest to others wishing to adopt a special needs child!

[lucyjoy]

1. I wanted to be a mom. The biggest challenge was my lack of understanding of the damage trauma in early life causes to the brain.

2.n/a

3.DFS was difficult to deal with and would have been a lot tougher if I hadn't had the agency that contracts with them to back me up.

4.Read and educate yourselves about the needs and the differences traumatized children have(or about medial conditions).
Deal with your own personal struggles first so they don't complicate the child's healing.

5.n/a

6. Less in some ways-inaccurate and covered up information and no real help when children really needed it for safety. More-I'd never heard of adoption subsidies until my first child was placed.

7. I wish I had educated myself better and asserted myself mpre for the services my children needed.

8. Lack of education and social workers who think having a stable family will fix all kids problems and hide what they really know about the children. This is a set up for failure.

9.Better education, more truth and real support.

10. Same as #4.

[HappyMomAnna]

Please answer these questions if you adopted a special needs child within the past five years:

1) What motivated you to adopt a special needs child? What are or were your biggest challenges?

We wanted two children who were biologically related to each other..... Our biggest challenge was the certification process and WAITING.

2) If you adopted through a public agency, how would you rate your experience?

Our experience was fantastic and supportive.

3) If you adopted through a public agency, were the waiting times reasonable?

Ours were reasonable however anytime waiting seems like forever.

4) What advice can you offer to those who are planning to adopt a special needs child?

Take each step at a time and learn as much as you can. Be completely honest and give the caseworker every little detail you can about your family and life.

5) If you have biological children, how do they relate to the adopted child?

My biological children were 17 and 18 when the adoption process started....the 17 year old daughter was excited and involved in every step--the 18 year old son opposed to the whole thing. On the day of placement the daughter bursted into tears because she understood that she could no longer leave her make-up around the bathroom...the son found out how awesome it was to have a kid look up to him.

6) Was the support you received more or less of what you expected?

We recieved less support from our family then we expected and much more from the state then we ever thought we would.

7) What do you wish you had done differently in the adoption process?

nothing

8) In your opinion, what is the biggest obstacle people face when adopting a special needs child?

being frightened away at the start due to the education and all the terrible things that can go worng.

9) In your opinion, what can be done to ensure that more special children are adopted into families? What other comments can you offer?

I think more public awareness and information needs to be given. I think some people believe they can walk into a social service office and pick up a kid..... they need to understand the process better before they start.

10) What kind of preparation would you recommend for someone adopting a special needs child?

start early and take it slow.

[Lorraine123]

1) What motivated you to adopt a special needs child? What are or were your biggest challenges?
I had two bio kids who were teenagers. We love each other and enjoy each other so much that we wanted to share that with another child. Challenges – at first the waiting, but now that we have been placed, the RAD.

2) If you adopted through a public agency, how would you rate your experience?
Out experience was very good. I would recommend our agency whole heartedly and I would use them again.

3) If you adopted through a public agency, were the waiting times reasonable?
We waited 9 months from the time of home study completion to placement.

4) What advice can you offer to those who are planning to adopt a special needs child?
Read, read, read. Educate yourself about Attachment issues. While the child may not have full blown RAD, they will have attachment problems.

5) If you have biological children, how do they relate to the adopted child?
My bio boys are 15 and 12, my adopted girl is 6. While they all get along well, I’m not sure their relationship will ever be as strong as the relationship between my two boys. I think this is due to several things – they are boys and she is a girl, they are teenagers and she is a kindergartener, etc. She is also developmentally delayed and ranges anywhere from a 3 yo to a 6 yo depending on the circumstances. I also think the kids are still in the honeymoon phase, the boys and the girl, so they still have a kind of unrelaxed relationship.

6) Was the support you received more or less of what you expected?
Since my daughter has RAD, we have had little support. Not because none was offered, but because no one understands the needs of a RAD child. Our families want to shower her with gifts and fun times, which is detrimental to her healing. They don’t understand this and accuse us of not allowing them to be grandparents. This has caused a lot of hard feelings. Friends try to be helpful by wanting to watch her to give us a break. We found that she totally runs the show when we aren’t around and again this is detrimental to her healing. So, in our case, support is offered but we try not to use it.

7) What do you wish you had done differently in the adoption process?
I can’t think of anything.

8) In your opinion, what is the biggest obstacle people face when adopting a special needs child?
An obstacle for us was other people’s opinions. Before placement, people (family included) gave their opinion too freely. We heard about all the horror stories and people couldn’t understand why we would choose to adopt a “damaged” child. After placement, people look at our daughter and she is so cute, outgoing and loving, and they can’t see her wounds because they are internal. Therefore people think there is nothing wrong with her and we are just mean with our therapeutic parenting.

9) In your opinion, what can be done to ensure that more special children are adopted into families? What other comments can you offer?
I think education to the public. Most people hear adoption and assume a baby. The public isn’t even aware of older child adoption. We need to educate the public on the success stories, not just the horrors.

10) What kind of preparation would you recommend for someone adopting a special needs child?
Read, read, read. Take responsibility for educating yourself, because no one will do it for you and I think lack of education is the primary reason for disruption.

[artimenia]

Thank you all for responding to my questionnaire. Your answers are very valuable in my research and certainly very much appreciated. Thank you!!!