[hope4kids]

I am excited because I just found out I will be getting to adopt a little girl I have wanted for 3 years. Baby K is 3 and a half. I had her sib in foster care for a year. When Baby K was a small infant I took her sib to visit her several times a week. Baby K was in a hospital because of severe physical abuse. Now she is finally ready to leave the institution and I will have her home sometime this fall. She has spent all but a month of her life in the hospital. Doies anyone have advice for me as I prepare to bring her home? I should add I have two other adopted daughters ages 1 and 5, and I am a single mom.

[louise]

so sorry, it is under "we adopted a little boy, originally from an orphanage".

[Dr. Art]

Not all, but the vast majority of children raised more than six to eight months in an institution usually have some signficant difficulties that you should be screening for and addressing now. First, such children often have sensory-integration difficulties. You'll want an OT who is SIPT certified (certified in sensory integration). Second, you will want a thorough evaluation by a therapist who has signficant experience and training with such children see. www.attach.org for someone in your region. You may also want a thorough neuro-psychological evaluation as such children often have subtle learning difficulties caused by the lack of early stimulation. The attachment problems you are likely to encounter can be remediated with the proper parenting and the proper treatment (again see www.attach.org to find someone who can help you).

Generally, you want the "decompression" from institutional life to home life to be smooth; so I usually suggest the following to families:
1. Make the room look as much like the institution as possible and only slowly and graduatlly add pictures, toys, and other visual and auditory stimulating items.
2. Keep food similiar.
3. Limit all visits by anyone other than you and your spouse and kids as much as possible...no visits for a period would be best
4. It is best if you can stay home with the child for three months or so and keep the child with you at all times...holdiing the child, etc. (see if your company falls under the federal Family Medical Leave Act, in which case you can take up to 12 weeks off per year)
5. Read Attaching in Adoption.

Best of luck,