[hope4kids]

I could use advice on caring for a toddler who is FTT. He has been here a little over a week and already gained a pound, so I am encouraged by that, but I want to do everything possible to help him thrive. He was a very premature baby and a shaken baby, butis doing better than expected. He is tiny though and not gaining weight well.

[Cleopatrick]

If he's already gained a pound then I would say you are well on the right track. My daughter was failure to thrive when she came here. It took about two weeks for us to notice any positive changes, but from there she just blossomed. We held her often, even when she would stiffen into a board because she wasn't used to it. Talked to her, played with her, touched her face when she smiled, did everything we could to get her to interact with us. The hardest part was getting her to cry when she needed something. She had learned that crying got you no where and wouldn't even cry if she was hungry. We had to keep her on a strict feeding schedule till she learned to cry for things. She's also severelly multiply impaired so it was a job and a 1/2, but she responded very quickly to stimulus and attention. She's now a spoiled rotten three year old who has defied all medical logic. I'm not sure what the differences are in a toddler versus an infant FTT as far as how he behaves. Hang in there and I hope someone can give you information for a toddler that will be useful.

[lambeausam]

A foster family in our area used infant massage on a FTT infant. It helped the baby get used to stimulus from human touch. Once the baby graduated from the "stiff board" reactions to being held, they carried him in a sling as much as possible.

[wanttobeparents]

We held Matthew 16-20 hours a day and fed him every hour and a half to 3 hours for 6 months. At one point he gained 2 pounds a week until he caught up with the rest of the flock. He is now 90th % for height and 50th % for weight.

The doctors say it was the constant holding, walking and singing. Touch and talk are very important. Tell him everything you do as you do it. If he's a toddler, he's not likely to sit still for a lot of holding, but feed often and keep him in the center of what the family is doing. If he has already gained a pound, it sounds like you are doing just fine. Keep it up.

Peggy

[Cleopatrick]

Good one Peggy, I had forgotten about that, keeping Allie in the center of things all the time. Reading or playing games with my other two, Allie was always right in the middle of it. Sitting on my lap, or laying on the floor with us to watch a show. Putting her in a highchair at the dinner table even though she was tube fed. We put her swing right in the center of our living room so she could see everything all the time. And the talking. I still talk to her constantly because I don't know how much she understands and I don't want her to feel like we are ignoring her. But yeah, we did the constant talking thing too.

Cleo

[Barksum]

One of our sons was FTT when he went to his foster family. I know that his foster mom devoted many hours each day to interaction and stimulation. So, once your little person is started to get used to your family and routine (and routine is VERY important) then start gently moving on to more stimulation. Infant massage is wonderful, lots of every day kinds of touches making sure to make them pleasant experiences.

After a fairly brief reunification attempt our son went back into foster care and had also shut down and would no longer cry to make his needs known, had regressed and quit walking, etc. His foster mom bought an inflatable mattress and under-inflated it so that he could walk yet have to work a bit for balance, jump, crawl, and generally work on gross motor stuff there. She had him sit in his high chair and string bead, do puzzles, shape sorters, etc. She bought many boxes of jell-o and made it up in a dishpan so that DS could play in it with his hands. Same with spaghetti noodles. Pudding or whipped cream is a good "finger paint" as well. His foster family had little dogs and he was encouraged to gently pet and help care for them on an age appropriate level. He didn't do anything alone, ever. He even slept in the same room with foster mom. Reading, holding, everything everyone has said is very important. Actually, going about daily life with lots of communication and expression, lots of touch, lots of pointing out what is going on seems to be key.

He's continued to progress and do very well. He's still small, but we think there are other factors that have contributed to that as well. He now initiates AND reciprocates cuddling and hugs, can't go to sleep without kisses and hugs, etc. He's very bright and usually pretty happy, so we are very pleased with his progress so far.