[ladyjubilee]

My homestudy is finally just about finished....but I have some concerns about the new agency.

First, while I was in one of this agencies training classes they'd mentioned play therapy....I asked for a fuller explanation of play therapy methods and reasoning and was told that the child's (not a specific child, but the child that will eventually be placed with me) therapy was not my area of concern and that the therapist would be "in charge". While I can sort of understand that in the fostering stage, the context was once the adoption is finalized. I'm just not really comfortable with being told the child's therapy isn't my area.

Second, this sounds petty but...well, the foster care/subsidy amount I was told about was $50 less than what the state says it is. I don't want to seem petty, but I end up wondering what happens to that $50. Is this something I should question?

Third, my previous agency encouraged me to be licensed as a theraputic foster parent (I wanted to be concerned for particular children who needed that level of care)---and was even working with my family to get them to do respite for me.......but the new agency hasn't been so encouraging.

Finally, I was told the homestudy would cost me almost $2000 if I do out of state. The previous agency didn't charge as long as I adopted from foster care---and the previous agency is the one who did the MAPP class, all the reference checks and the finger prints. What exactly does the $2000 cover?

Overall, I'm sort of worried that if I'm not feeling confident now, what happens when something really bad happens and I need immediate support from the agency.

[Rainbow mom]

Ask any question you feel compelled to ask now. Do not be afraid to offend them. You will have this child a lifetime and if you have questions they should have awnsers. DO not be afraid to ask. I would question where the $50.00 dollars is going (after all that money is to care for your child).

If you want your child in play therepy you can put them there just make sure they accept medicaid and they are approved by your agency.

Our homestudy done by the state cost $350.00. I would ask them to itemize the cost of the home study for you (just so you can understand). If you feel at all uneasy about the agency you've chosen, back out, trust those feelings. If they cannot awnser your questions now how will they be to work with when you've got a problem with your child?

[DianeS]

My foster care/adoption agency gave me an explanation of why some agencies charge if the homestudy is used out of state and some don't.

In a nutshell, it has to do with whether the state the child comes from is willing to pay "purchase of service" which pays for such things as the homestudy, and whether the cost of the homestudy is more or less than the going rate for it in the state the child comes from, and whether or not the homestudy agency has a branch office in the state the child comes from.

I would *definately* question the missing $50. It could be as simple as a new yearly budget affecting the amount of the subsidy, or as awful as the agency skimming off the top. Probably something in the middle, but you need to know!

I agree with asking for an itemized list of things they charge you for, pertaining to that $2000 charge for the homestudy if you want to take it out of state. You definitely want your charge to be prorated if there are expenses usually included in that charge that have already been paid.

And again I agree, that if you're not comfortable with the agency or its policies, find a different agency. Not telling you about things like play therapy's definition and purpose could be because they themselves don't know, or they're used to uninvolved foster parents, or because they truly don't value the place the foster parent holds in the care of a foster child.

But go with your instnincts, if you're not comfortable now then you KNOW your comfort level isn't going to increase when you're in the middle of an issue that needs their immediate cooperation. Right?

[lucyjoy]

Theraputic subsidy is credited by the day and will vary according to how many days are in the month. So that may explain the $50 difference, however, my contract list the maximum amount.
Our state has claimed to have eliminated theraputic subsidy for new adoptions, so that could be why their not encouraging that. It's a budget issue and a lot of states are struggling.

Some agencies have a six to twelve month contract saying you'll only consider kids in a certain area until after that time. Normally, if they haven't placed children with you by then, they'll waive the out of area fee.

As for the therapy, some states require you to use their therapists during foster care, but after adoption, noone can tell you who to use, you just have to find someone who'll take the insurance.

[ladyjubilee]

Unfortunately the amount being discussed wasn't the theraputic---just the flat rate. I'm meeting the social worker Thursday for my home visit, so I'm going to try talking about it then.

[riley6]

This is really interesting, because I have a friend who fosters who just moved to NC. She is having her hs finished so she can adopt a child she fostered here in my state. She inquired about fostering for the agency after the adoption is final. The sw told her the monthy stipend is $250. Different that what the website says. She's near the SC border.

[rindava]

some do a daily rate others it is just a flat rate---many states have different rates according to county, etc.... Many private foster care providers also pay different rates then public foster care (here public TAFY rate is like $1100 per month, but most private theraputic rates are around $700 and like a christian based private infant foster care agencie here only pays $200 per month but basic foster care is $290 something for children under 5.

Also, the therapy requirment is also different in each state----once the adoption is final and all time limits for appeals are up, the child is yours and you can make all medical decisions.

$2000 is a bit much to use the homestudy out of state, but NC has a lot of kids and you will probably get a placement in-state.

A word of warning any therapist who does not want you actively involved in treatment for your child is not a good therapist for a kid who has been in foster care. You need to bond with that child and most likely that child will need attachment therapy. You will needs more of a family therapy then just play therapy.

However, if you are just foster parenting the majority of the therapy focus will most likely be on how what ever happend in b-home hurt the kid and how they are dealing with it.......so, you will not be as much as a part of therapy as with a child placed with you for adoption.

Any kid over 3 in foster care should be in therapy because it is often the only thing that gives them a voice in court (the documentation generated by therapy really helps in some kid's situations.)

If you have that really bad feeling in your gut already, you may want to pick up your toys and go home so to speak. Find an agency you are comfortable with--- they can become a big part of your life for up to a year in a half or longer in foster to adopt situations. If you are having problems now, they could get much worse.

[Happy]

Did you say you were in NC? I am, too. The rate for basic foster or adoption is the same and it is set state-wide. we get (I think) about $315 month for our 11 year old foster-adopt son. It is less for 5 and under, more for 13 and up. I would be concerned about the $50 reduction. Perhaps the child is younger than you were looking at the rates for?
I would also raise heck about their attitude about therapy. There is NO WAY I would be anything but 100% involved in therapy for any child of mine. Remember, once you adopt, it is the same as if the child is born to you and no one can tell you what therapist to go to or how involved you should be. That is totally up to you.
My agency charged me nothing for the homestudy, but only asked that I stay in-state for one year, then it was free to me to take anywhere I want. Luckily we were placed with J in a little over a year. There are lots of kids in NC. And if you are willing to do therapeutic you should have no trouble finding a placement. The only reason it took us so long is that we have young children in the home and could only handle the mildest of issues.
Good luck to you
Happy

[Georgia Mom]

To address the issue of adoption subsidies....if you go to the website www.nacac.org. you can find detailed information about each state's policies. It really does vary. In Georgia, there is no set rate. It varies according to the needs of the child. If the child was in a foster care placement and was receiving a specialized rate (often called a "level of care" rate), then s/he is eligible for that same rate as an adopted child. Most older children qualify.

I agree with the other folks on your other concerns.

Best wishes.

[Barksum]

Even if you are only fostering a child, you still have an active role in therapy, particularly to know what kinds of therapy your foster child is engaging in. I'm disgruntled that your question was brushed off. It smacks of the old attitude regarding foster parents. You know, that attitude that said that foster parents should not form attachments or bonds with their foster children and should NEVER ever adopt them. (Yes, Virginia, Santa Claus went on vacation and there was a time that this was concept was pushed as "the best for the child". )

In our state (OR) we have CASA's who are like GAL's in other states. I reported at least weekly to my FS's CASA worker, more if things came up. The CASA gives reports in court and represents and actively petitions for the best interest of the child. Since I am held responsible as the foster parent to oversee all that is involved with care and maintenance of my foster children I am as involved as any biological parent. Get real -- if a therapist was abusive or took advantage of a foster child in some way, and the foster parent "didn't know" and "did nothing" they wouldn't give that foster parent a prize for being ignorant. That foster parent would come under some form of censure at the very least. Additionally, I can't implement parenting suggestions given by the therapist if I don't know what they are talking about. The only foster children I am not this involved with are those who are with me only for respite, which is usually less than 2 weeks at a time. (I've been told that I have a Type A personality, though. Perhaps other foster parents don't feel the need to be as "responsible" as I am?)

Anyway, I agree about the $ and the homestudy questions as well. If you ask the questions and do not get satisfactory answers, or get answers that bring up more questions or unhappy gut feelings, consider looking for a different agency. Having an unhelpful, snippity, uncooperative agency would be...well, h-e-double hockey sticks for the pre-, mid- and post-adoptive parents, in my opinion.

[ladyjubilee]

That's what I'm worried about, Barksum. Because I'm willing to consider children who are acting out, I really want to trust my agency----I want to know thatif something goes majorly wrong 1) when I call I get a person and not a voice mail and 2) that someone will come---NOW not later. The last SW I worked with was that kind of person. I really had a lot of faith in her that she'd be there when I needed her. Maybe its because I haven't spent enough time with the new SW, but I just don't have that trust (yet). But then, maybe since they don't do a lot of theraputic placements, they don't have that kind of system.

[lucyjoy]

No social workers were ever available during a crisis. My kids knew that from after 5 on Friday until 8am Monday, their workers couldn't be reached. the therapist, however, gave me his cell phone and home phone which was more help anyway. Also, in my own experience, the social workers made the crisis worse most of the time because the had little understanding of RAD, ODD, or conduct disorder which were the major problem starters.

[rindava]

I fostered for 5 years..... I was not permitted to put 2 of my foster kids in therapy because of their case manager (long story) We do not have active CASA or GALs in this part of this state.....we do have them....CASAs are only assigned to severe cases (usually ones that make the news) GALs are usually whoever is there the day of court, not set person, whoever has duty, they don't know enough to care of be involved.

Here, in Virginia Beach area there are at least 11 providers of private foster care (every psy hosptital, etc... currently has a program) the rates they pay are very different. Each local surrounding city also (and even case worker) has very different standard before they will pay above basic rate for special needs.

As a foster parent I resented such theraputic approaches that totally left out b-parents when reunification was the goal......I could go on and on about "parent training" and how one particular kid I had was seeing and hearing things that were not there who's SW said he was just having a adjustment disorder due being away from b-mom (even though b-dad was severe bi-polar) and the really bad therapist she made us use who said I had a personality conflict with the child. Many, many blamed the foster parent , and foster home. You really have to shop around to get someone how knows how to work with foster kids.

With my girls we went through 2 really bad therapist (one who said their sexualized behavior was due to being left unspervised like wild animals would do). The 3rd therapist finally took up for them and gave them a voice in court.

I think your foster kids need you to be there for them. I still feel the loss of the children I had for 13 months and cared for very much, and that was 2 1/2 years ago.

Things really do take a turn when you know that no one is going to show up at the door and snatch the kids away. You always have that hanging over head here (at least when you do public foster care in this part of this state.) I even have a foster parent friend who they showed up one night at 2:00 am to move kids to an aunts house after they had had them 10 months.The kids know it is not forever and you know it also.

One of the best things about my son's foster care (he came for Missouri) was that when reunification was the goal his family was assigned a therapist who worked with b-mom, sibs, and him and did visitations and saw everyone individually (the kids in their foster homes.) They did talk to foster parents, but foster parents were not the root of the problems. They got to see the whole picture. I wish more places would take this approach to foster care therapy.

[Barksum]

sorry I didn't put that in my post. I would be the main parental figure at school functions, therapy sessions and dr visits when the bio parents weren't, then ease out as they are able to step forward again. Often parents are in rehab facilities hours away, or working on parenting programs, job searches/training, have no vehicle, etc. etc. and are unable to attend these appointments. As the bio parents are able and the goal of reunification nears usually they start taking on more and more of these responsibilities. I usually try to keep a list of appointments and issues discussed and share it with the bio family, if it is appropriate to the situation.

Foster children DEFINITELY need their foster parents to be there for them. Often this is something that they've not had -- a parental figure to go to to order school pictures, to make doctor appointments, etc. etc. For many children it is a new and sometimes scary thing, but I did notice that even our jr. highers liked the extra attention - they just tried not to show it too much.

In my opinion one of the areas in which I've noticed the system to fall short is that they don't work more to be a facilitator between foster and biological parents. I recognize that this would not always be appropriate (I've known of some bio parents whom I wouldn't want to know my name, phone number or address) but in the cases where it could be appropriate it would be great if the cw's stepped in and worked to help the two families work together for the children. Granted, this would take a willing bio family and an "open" foster family, but with the right help I think it is possible.