[Mrs.Brown]

I have an VERY URGENT matter! I know this might not be the correct forum, however I wanted to post where people have already adopted and have been through the proccess. Does anyone have any experience with CPS (Child Protective Services) in California? I have a 15 year old biological son who is severely disabled with multiple problems such as XYY Syndrome, Tourettes Syndrome, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, ADHD, and possibly a mild form of PDD. Dispite his disorders he is very intelligent. He has made false child abuse calls against my husband and myself in the past. Other times it would be considered with the relm of normal parenting that was distorted. I.E. About two weeks ago he became violent and out of control. He is very large (6'1") for his age and I'm very petite (5'0"). Luckily (or unluckily) my husband was home. It was a situation where he actually had to hit him to get him under control. He hit him once to stop him and then took him outside of the house to let him de-escalate, calm down and get himself somewhat under control. I called his therapist and explained what happened. He said that he is mandated by the state to report the incident, but that if I call myself it will look a lot better for us. So I called CPS and reported what had happened. They went to his school and put him in the childrens shelter. Immediately the shelter noticed how he is and complained to me about his behavior (he was acting too bad for the shelter to handle). To make a long story short the shelters therapist and social workers said that they felt this was more of a "mental health" issue and NOT an "child abuse" issue. The social worker and her boss were hesitant on releasing him back to our custody not for his safety but for fear of ours (we also have two little girls...healthy, thank God!). It took a lot of talking, but I managed to convince them that we'd be safe if he came home. The worker does not want him here. I agreed to place him in a long term residential facility where he can stay until he is 18 and then go to an adult long term residential facility for the remainder of his years.
I've just found out recently that because we now have a report with CPS we will not qualify for adoption. Even though there were no charges brought against my husband. Is there anyway I can get the reports with CPS destroyed? I have fallen in love with a little boy who needs me. He is in Russia and is disabled. I'm used to dealing with disabled children so this will not be a problem for me. The nature of his disability is correctable. It would be nice to help someone who can actually be helped. But now I'm being told I can't adopt this little boy that I already love as one of my own. I already think of him as my son. He is my son in my heart. What can I do? Does anyone have any advice? This is a real emergency! Please help me get my son out of that Russian orphanage and bring him home to his family that already loves him! Where he can get the help and love he needs and deserves.
Someone, anyone.... please help!
Sincerely,
Mrs. Brown

[rindava]

you should be okay

If they did find cause to believe abuse took place you did at one point have the right to appeal their finding..... every state is a little different

Also, most states purge records after so many year (but it is usually like 15) when they run the child abuse check they are supposed to look at the incident and refere back to the locality that founded the case.

If it is incorect and they did not notify you that the case was founded (they are not permitted to do that behind your back) then you may also have reason to apeal the finding...

You may on the other hand be out of luck ---- that is one of the dangers of fostering and adopting older special needs children-----

[doylene]

You need to find out if CPS substantiated the abuse. IN some states, as soon as a report is made, you are put on the register with abuse and neglect parents. When the report is found 'not substatiated', you must wrilte to have your name expunged from the list. AFter you write, have it checked to make sure it was done. You should have a statewide Foster and Adopt parents group that can give you legal guidance and support.

[Graham]

As long as the "abuse" was not "substantiated", your experience should not directly effect a future adoption. What it will effect however is the situation with your son. Was he adopted? If so when and how? What's the plan for your future relationship? Finally, and importantly, which County do you live in and, if adopted, which County was your son from?
Any adoption agency in California will want a detailed report of how this terrible crisis for your family occured, and will certainly have to clarify for themselves whether it could potentially happen again.
If you can post the answers I'll be glad to be more helpful.
Graham

[Mrs.Brown]

Hi Graham,
Well, my son is not adopted. He is my eldest child from a previous relationship. As for my future relationship with him, well he is my son and always will be. I love him with all my heart even though he is difficult. My husband and I have exhaused all of our resources for him. After endless years of therapy and no improvement we've decided to place him in a long term care residential facility. Especially after this last incident. We are in the process of doing this now. It will take up to two months or less I'm told.
My son was hit and my husband admitted that. But still considering the situation it was deemed a "mental health" issue and not a "child abuse" issue, by the childrens shelter social worker herself. One other similar incident occurred about three to four years ago. Again, no charges were brought against my husband. My son was not even removed from the home at that time. It was investigated and then dropped. I never heard about it again.
We live in the county of Santa Clara and the city of San Jose.
We have all the medical records with my sons diagnosis and professionals (including santa clara county mental health workers and his therapist from Eastfield Ming Quon) who can attest to the fact that we are good people and good parents to our children. My other two children are also proof of that.
Please, any advice would be greately appreciated. Not only for me, but as I'm finding here for others in similar situations.
Thank you so much!
Mrs.Brown

[Graham]

You are lucky to live in one of the best Child Welfare Counties that I know. It is so good that it is rare to hear of a family that feels everything was not done to help them that could be. It is the original home of Wraparound services for families, family-to-family placement, family group conferencing, and Adoption Wraparound in California - all of which are absolutely the "best practices", strength-based strategies to help families available. I just wish all of that could have helped achieve a better outcome for your son.

That being said, to be positively welcomed as adoptive applicants you and your husband will need several explicit letters of support and recommendation from professionals to assume a parenting role in respect of a child needing a permanent home. You will need to be prepared for extensive screening and assessment, unless the incidents were expressly determined to be unfounded. Agencies need to take great care with the children in their care, but they also should look hard at a family's strengths to form an accurate picture of any applicants. Have you also considered other options, other than adoption, to contribute to the life of a child? Mentoring, volunteering and sponsoring mean a lot and can often result in the form of special relationship that I sense you wish to provide and experience.
Best wishes, Graham.