I see so many waiting AA children, but I hesitate because I'm afraid that we would not be able to do right by these kids.

I am hoping to hear from white families who adopted african american children.

thanks in advance for any and all responses!

[Lilathe]

There are "sensitivity" training classes you can do online specifically for interracial adoption issues. Every adoption agency that places children interracially should have a course in it (with most agencies it is mandatory before you can adopt another race child)
Even if you are not going through that particular agency, most if not all agencies would let you attend the one class for a nominal fee or free.
I would recommend taking the training class and then visiting with some interracial familes.
Another good idea is to attend an all black church for a few weeks so you can get a "feel" for how the child will feel in your home and with your friends.

I went to a funeral where my husband and I were the only caucasian people in the middle of 200 AA mourners. The culture shock (remember I am catholic and everything is soooo sedate in our masses) of the funeral service and being the only "white person" there was very hard. I felt sooo out of place and it was hard for me to imagine having to live like that for the rest of my life.

I am very pro interracial adoption, but I do think you should go in not just spouting that you "understand" what it would be like, but actually put yourselves into situations where you "know" what it feels like.

[Mom_Of_Many]

if you aren't comfortable, don't do it. I think it is within yourself whether or not it is right for you. Some questions you may ask: Do you have any African-American friends? Do you live in a completely white community? Do you have an inner prejudices that you have to deal with (this is no shame, imo, and is common....not overt prejudice, just stereotypes), are you attracted equally to kids of all races so that you can give the affection they need? It was not a problem for us, but for others it is a major issue. Also, we are the type of folks that really don't care if people like or don't like what we do, including family. I'm glad we crossed the racial line.

[Stormy]

After having several foster children who are AA and now my youngest son being AA I have learned a few things.
-Many people in society see our family differently now. We are a transracial family and are treated differently than when we were a caucasian family.
-My experiences are different when I am out with only my AA son than when I am out alone with my Cauc. son. I had to learn to laugh at the idiots who look down on me or treat me differently because my son is AA.
-I find myself in a rage sometimes because what it really boils down to is people not accepting my son, who is 10 mo., who is an angel, who is innocent and they are picking on him. In my book it is no better than knocking down or hitting my 10 mo. old for no reason. So I usually give a discusted look to people or make a comment about how pathetic they are when they are obviously disapproving of our family.
-Some areas are worse than others. When we move one day, we will be seeking a racially accepting community.
-We aren't accepted in the black community either. In fact my experience has been that the black community disapproves of our adopting our son more strongly than the white community.
-We have to make an effort to find a way that our son doesn't feel on the outside, so we have many close friends who also have transracial families, we involve ourselves in many things in the AA community. We read AA literature, have AA art, buy baby toys and books that have AA children in them.

-And really, at the end of the day, he is just our little boy. We love him just as he is. There is no prettier brown in the world than the color of my son's skin. But we just don't think about it that much on a day to day basis. He is our little boy, we love to hold him, we love to play with him. He has a wonderful smile and an adorable laugh. He likes fruits but hates vegetables. He likes to eat what we eat. He loves his Daddy. He follows his brother around the house. He is sweet to the pets and he likes his teddy bear. And at some point in the past 10 months it has become perfectly clear to us that whatever plan there is in this world it was decided long ago that his little spirit was destined to be a part of our family. he is as much a part of this family as any one of my hands or feet are a part of my body.

GOod luck

[Kena]

We are in the process of adopting a biracial 14 y/o girl (AA/White). We live in a racially integrated neighborhood, have strong ties to the AA community, many close AA and black friends and neighbors, and AA/Black literature and artwork in our home. We did everything we could to prepare for a transracial placement, and only considered black and biracial kids (we are both white). We are fortunate in that our family, friends, and community have been, and continue to be, very supportive. But racism is out there and we have definitely been aware of it when out with our daughter and/or goddaughter (who is black). We are very supportive of transracial adoption. It can be a challenging, but wonderful experience, especially if you try to prepare and educate yourselves (and as many people around you who will listen). You've gotten many good suggestions so far. As someone who is often the only white person amongst black people (friends and strangers) I would highly recommend you do that a few times to see what it is like. I would also recommend you read "Inside Transracial Adoption" by Beth Hall and Gail Steinberg. This book is an excellent perspective on transracial adoption and the issues involved. (They have an excellent website at PACT adoption with articles as well.) I could recommend other books, if you are interested, but I will leave you with something we were told during our training... It's easy to love black children, who are cute and loving, but if you plan to parent black children you'd better make sure you also really love black people (adults) -- because that is who black children become and who they may marry and build a family with.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

[louise]

our experience has been really good. We live in a diverse and intergrated community, we already had black friends and feel comfortable within our black community. Our children and our entire family have been embraced by that black community and we feel loved and supported. I would say that the majority of my children's friends (including my other kids here) are children of color.

I certainly appreciate the thoughtful responses. It has given me a great deal to think about. We do live in a predominantly white area, our street has only two black families.

Again, I appreciate all of the thoughtful comments. It has given me a lot to consider.

[Sandy]

We've adopted three black children as well as biracial twins. I've posted our story more than a few times (LOL) and would be happy to share it with you if you want to email me. It's a very positive story - even though we live in the SOUTH!! Email at smcneil917@yahoo.com

I'd be happy to share with anyone who is interested.

Sandy

[blc_822]

I am the white, Jewish mother of 11 children(7 adopted)- 10 Black, 1 Asian, ages 11-29. I have only two things to add to this debate. (Actually, I'm probably reinforcing what's already been said.)

1. Do not adopt a child of another race unless you live in a fully integrated community and can make the committment to remain in such a community until your child reaches adulthood.

2. This one I cannot stress enough- Do not adopt a child of a race or religion different than your own unless you feel absolutely, positively comfortable about interracial/interreligious dating and marriage.

[Dr. Art]

The points raised here should be really helpful to you, JL. The critical part is to be able to create a multi-racial family. That means becoming an inter-racial family with a melding of culture, experience, and all that entails. It requires living in an integrated community and making that culture a part of your daily life.

On a personal note, our youngest is Asian, Chinese. We have tried, as best we could, to make our home an integrated home with Chinese art, music, food, and culture a part of our life. We selected a community with the highest proportion of asian's in this region for our home. We are involved in several Chinese culture groups and attend Chinese culture camp every year.

Best wishes,

[mrbeansmom]

>>I am the white, Jewish mother of 11 children(7 adopted)- 10 Black, 1 Asian<<

I know it's not my business, but I can't get past these figures. If you are white and you have 11 kids, seven of whom are adopted, that means four of them are your bio kids, right? If one of them is Asian I'm guessing that one is adopted so that leaves four black bio kids. If you are white, how did you end up giving birth to three black children? Or, did you mean they are biracial? Or foster children?

Like I said, I know it's not my business, but it was just one of those things that caught my eye.