[samsmama]

I really have been wanting a baby since I had to have my tubes tied after I had my son two years ago. I just cant understand that it can cost $10k upwards to $45k to adopt a child. Isnt that human trafficking? It should only cost what it takes for paperwork, background checks and things like that. There are sooo many children and babies out there that need a loving and safe home but are still waiting for one because only rich people can afford to "buy" them... I get so frustrated thinking about this. My husband and I are far from rich but we do alright. We enjoy life but dont live in a castle. Why cant we give a child or baby a family, a home, hugs, kisses and security? My son just turned two and he knows his ABC's and numbers, but not in order yet... He knows colors, some sign language and he gets enough kisses and hugs and encouragement to last a lifetime every day, but just because we cant provide vacations to the Bahamas every year and a boat with yet ski's, we are forced to sit back and let all these children that we could love and care for, grow up in childrens homes and in foster care till their 18... Now, we would go the foster care parent route but we just couldnt love a child and then be able to let them go, that would just hurt way too bad for us. Anybody know anything that we dont?

[karla-k]

It is frustrating that adoption is expensive, but the expenses can vary greatly depending on how you adopt and who you adopt. The cost for adopting through the foster care system is minimal if not free, and you get the $11,650 tax credit. Private adoption can range in price as you said. Many times grants and reduced fees are available for older children or children with special needs.

We are adopting internationally and expect it to cost us about $40,000 by the time we are done. We are not rich! I stay at home and my husband is a nurse. We have managed to pay for the first $15,600 of our expenses from our tax return and our tax stimulus, and the rest of my teaching salary from this last year. Budget squeezing and making sacrifices on our parts has played a big part too. We have a friend who has given us a large gift and the adoption tax credit still leaves us about $5000 short and we will be doing a fund raiser and have applied for grants to make up that part of the expense.

It is possible to afford adoption, the average family who adopts has an income of about $50,000 annually. It also helps to look at each expense individually and not at the whole thing! I took each little thing at a time: I used our tax return to pay for our home study, our tax stimulus to pay for our agency application fee, a medical reimbursement check from work to pay for our immigration application, etc. It is much easier mentally to break it into small chunks

good luck,
Karla

[karla-k]

oh, and the fees that you pay are to cover the things you listed: background checks, immigration paperwork, travel (if international and/or some domestic), home study, post placement visits, state certification fees, etc.

I don't see a single penny of what I am paying as buying a baby, I am paying professional people to do paperwork and other necessary items in order to bring our child home.

[samsmama]

Karla-k, sorry if I offended you about the comment "buying a baby".... But I've researched and watched so many specials about adoption and even though its what we, including me, dont want to hear, some agencies are more about the money than the child. I just wish the whole process could be more affordable. And thats great that you are almost at your mark with your costs. I know that God will help you with that little bit you have left. And I hope you have a great trip to go meet your new child, soon! God Bless!

[karla-k]

You didn't offend me

I really don't feel like our agency is taking us for a ride. The total cost is really a bunch of little things that add up and most of it doesn't even go to our agency. I do see what our agency does behind the scenes in caring for the children in the countries they work in, and that makes it worth it to me.

Recently our agency had a couple who traveled to meet a baby they had been referred. It turns out the baby had some serious medical issues. Our agency paid for a neurologist to examine the baby and to have the baby hospitalized for several days to help him get the care he would not have gotten from the orphanage. The couple ended up not accepting the referral, but our agency is taking care of the little boy and the medical expenses associated with his hospitalization and medications.

I hope you find a way to adopt the baby you have wanted. It is worth the journey, and in the end, I can't see regretting spending the money

karla

[CaddoRose]

In Texas you can adopt through CPS(Child Protective Services). If you haven't, you should at least go talk to your local CPS SW/CW and find out about this option. Not all expectant Moms who want to relinguish will go to a private agency or through an attorney. Many go the public route.

I would strongly encourage you to do lots of research on your own and put aside all the info you have gleaned from TV shows. Call every agency you can and ask for information from them directly about domestic and international adoption before you completely throw in the towel.

[dakotabluebaby]

I know exactly how you feel. We have decided to go through fostercare, depending on the agency there are oppertunities to have a Low risk placement,

We however are doing foster care open for foster adopt. We would not ever be able to afford private/international adoption. I know about the tax credit, which is amazing, but you have to put the money up front.

I hate when people then say, having children is expensive. Yes! it is! let me use my money on them not for paperwork. I do feel like the cost is too high, but truth be told it is worth it.
Fertility medications can add up to be even more in the long run. Sometimes I feel like D_ if you do D_ if you don't

I wish you and your family the best of luck and clarity when choosing your path.

[samsmama]

Dakotabluebaby, you got it! Thats exactly how I feel... "let me use the money on them, not paperwork.." But yes, in the end it IS all worth it. I just believe in a higher power with my situation. I believe that if this is the way I want to go about helping a birthmother and her baby, I believe that God will guide us towards each other. And I believe that everything happens for a reason so I believe that if I am suppose to be a mommy to multiple children than one day it will happen and if not, then I am perfectly happy to just have my Sammy Bear, as he cmes up to me and says "its ok, its alright!" Like he could read or know what I was typing and thinking at this very moment! I am blessed but maybe I should stop feeling guilty for not being able to spread my love to more children that can sure use it....sigh....