[nategesner]

We just completed our initial training for foster parenting in Nevada. We are in a program called "Flexible Family" where we get licensed to take on a newborn with the intent of adopting him/her. The success rate of adopting a newborn that is placed with you is over 90%, so we are praying that this is God's will for us.

Most of these children are "special needs" meaning there is some factor that makes them difficult to adopt under normal procedures. This can be because of the child's race, an addiction to alcohol/drugs, medical/mental disability, etc.

As I said, we've completed the training but are hungry for more information. We are looking for information on the following subjects, but are open to anything we may have forgotten:

1. Any information on how to take care of a baby with drug or alcohol addiction.

2. Information on how to parent a child of another race.

3. Parenting books in general.

I can run a search on the internet and find lots of information, but I'm hoping that someone here can point me in the direction of GOOD information! Thanks so much for any responses!

Nate Gesner

[hope4kids]

Most of the truly helpful thing I have learned have been told to me by experienced foster parents. I have also gleaned much good information from therapists in the Early Intervention System. If you get a child who has been drug or alcohol exposed or one who seems to have special needs, be sure to get them assessed by the Early Intervention System. they can let you know specifics about that particular child.

I will share some pointers that have helped me with my tiny drug babies. They tend to become overstimulated easily. You can tell they are getting overstimulated when they yawn, look away from you, close their eyes, cry, get the hiccups, etc. If you let the overstimulation continue too long they can become difficult to soothe. You can avoid overstimulation by being aware of the noise and activity level around the baby. these babies seem to respond best to one type of stimulus at a time. for example, either sing to them or rock them, either talk to them, or gaze into their eyes. Eye contact can easily overwhelm a drug baby. If they become overwhelmed, soothe them by swaddling them, dimming the lights, and quieting the room. Put them on your shoulder and gently bounce them up and down instead of side to side.

Drug babies may have feeding difficulties. They may have a weak or uncoordinated suck. This can make it harder for them to gain weight. I found preemie nipples helpful for feeding mine. They are also prone to reflux. If the baby seems especially irritable after feedings, projectile vomits, or spits up excessively - consider reflux. A doctor can help. So can keeping the baby upright after feedings and feeding small amounts frequently.

Prenatal drug exposure influences muscle tone. Some babies may be high tone. They may have legs that are harder to move when you change their diapers and such. They may arch their backs when you lift them. Physical therapy can help. High tone kids often end up walking on their toes and are slower to reach milestones such as crawling, walking, etc. Drug babies may be low tone or floppy. their heads may continue to lag back longer than normally developing babies. Again PT can help.

A lot of drug related problems go away over time. But alcohol exposed babies are not so lucky. Fetal alcohol syndrome and fetal alcohol effect are lifelong conditions. they don't go away, and are not always easy to diagnose. I am just starting to learn about it b/c my baby was just diagnosed FAS. She has lots of extreme tantrums and is extremely hyper.

Let me know if you have specific questions and I will be glad to share what I know.