[shnoogiepoo]

My fiance and I live in Arizona and have been together for over 3 years. We have been unsucessful in having our own children thus far, I am 29 and he's 31 and he wants at least 6 kids. Obviously we are too old to have that many boilogically even without the dificulties. .

I was a dispatcher for the police department for over 8 years, I saw first hand how much foster care is needed. We moved to a big city and I decided 8 years of dispatching was enough for me. We are very interested in foster care/ adoption, and my Husband is a computer tech, by trade. We decided that I'd stay home and do daycare and get ready to do foster care and be a full time "mom".

Now we are to the part that I need some help with. We were planing on getting married in November, We live in Arizona, and from what I have read, if we get married we then have to wait ANOTHER 3 years before we will even be considered for foster care or adoption. Additionally I have read that we can be single, but how does that effect our position. We've already been living together for over 3 years, if we were to fill out paperwork to make it a legal we disqualify ourselves from being able to do anything for ANOTHER 3 years or we have to continue to live together to be able to adopt or even foster care anytime soon???

PLEASE Help.

[weas123]

I live in Utah but I have never heard of the three year rule. Call your local DCFS and ask them. Be frank-- tell them you are single now but will soon be married. If they really need good people they will jump at the chance to welcome you aboard!

[DianeS]

Every state has their own rules for determining the "stability" of families who will be permitted to adopt. A rule requiring 3 years of marriage is not an unusual one. You would probably have to wait a similar length of time after any major life-change--marriage, death of spouse, divorce, move to new state, etc.

Like the other answer suggested, do telephone the state department responsible for foster children, or an agency licenced to place them, and ask your questions. Sometimes "stability rules" can be bent based on extenuating circumstances and sometimes they can't. You may have been told old or inaccurate information. Or there may be a loophole you can use (like one of you adopting as a single and then getting married). You'll never know until you ask someone who can explain the specific laws in your state! Good luck!