[karla-k]

My cousin has lost custody of her 15 month old and newborn to CPS in NewMexico. The baby tested positive to drugs and both she and the then 13 month old were taken from the hospital. They were in a very good foster home and actually were attending the daycare that their bio grandmother owns/runs.

A few weeks ago their social worker moved them to a new home b/c she felt that the birth mother was "too comfortable" with the situation and wasn't working hard enough to get the kids back. I think the way it was put, was that "she knew where her kids were and that they were safe, so why worry or try to get them back?"

Has anyone heard of this? If a mother isn't working her plan do they disrupt the lives of the children just to motivate her? Seems really unfair to these babies.

Karla

[EZ2Luv]

I can see why they would do this. This is a big problem here in MA. Just recently 2 children were killed in a fire deliberately set by their biomoms lover. These children were not even supossed to be living with teh biomom but because their grandmother was the fostermom, they were always with the biomom. As a matter of fact EVERY time DSS visited teh bimom (she had another baby not in fostercare) those children were there and biomom would always say they were just visiting and the kids would also lie.
I realize this is not the exact same situation, but placing wiith relatives as foster care providers or relatives as caregivers where the bios had easy access to the children could definately put a damper on a caseplan.
The whole idea of a case plan is to have the bios work on getting themselves straightened out and this includes visits set up by CPS.
I am not sayng this is the case with all situations, but it makes sense that if a bio knew they could visit their children at anytime they could get complacent and not be motivated enough to work to get the children back. I noticed when this happened in MA (the cases I know of personally,my substance abuse clients)the bios saw this as long babysitting because it was a convience to them. They could see the kids when they wanted and still have time off for themselves, they knew where the kids were and they were safe.
To answer your question, it seems like these children were moved after 2 months, am I correct? The whole idea of CPS and caseplans is to reunite children with their parenst. In order for this to happen the bios must work their caseplan. Now if the parents stall and are not actively working a plan, the children remain in foster care longer or until they do.
What would you consider worse, being moved after a 2 month stay with one foster family, or remaining in foster care indefinately or at least until the biomom worked her plan?
I CPS certainly has it's share of downfalls, but I have seen too much as far as bios stalling and not working their plans while thye children remain in foster care. Sadly, alot of these cases go to TPR for this very reason.

EZ

[karla-k]

the mother lives about 20 miles away from foster home #1 and had visits 3x a week so that she and the baby could bond. she was not able to just show up and visit b/c she doesn't have transportation. she won't have anything to do with her mother (the daycare owner.)

I guess I don't have much hope in this mother ever straightening out. CPS has been on the scene since baby #1 was born, but they could never prove anything. I guess if you are going to get straightened out, you would do it without people having to use your children to motivate you. She also has 3 other kids that her mother is raising, she voluntarily relinquished them to her b/c she was basically neglecting them. Leaving all 3 (9, 10, 12 years old) alone at home for days at a time.

I wish there was some way we could tell the future and get these kids (all foster kids) in the right homes in the first place but I guess sometimes the right home takes a while to become the right home.

I do understand that sometimes things that don't make sense now really turn out to be the most beneficial thing in the long run.

Thanks for your response.

[JSAUNTIE]

I know as a relative care giver it was ask of us if we would allow access to the kids for the parents and we said no. When ever BP would ask to sneak a visit I would always put the blame on a caseworker. We even had the CW explain to BD that he wasnt allowed anywhere near our home. He threw a fit and said but my mom lives in that town the Judge said you are not allowed in *** do you understand me. So I know they are picky if the relatives are going to allow the bios to visit. We did allow one visit in our home last thanksgiving with the judges permission in hopes bios would see how happy he is here and how much we are his family but that didnt work and I ended up having BP in my home for 12 hours because they didnt get the hint it was time for them to leave and they wanted to watch TV. I still rocked the baby to sleep and everything.

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

I don't think the OP was asking about relative placements. Her questions was: Should the KIDS pay for mom not working the caseplan and IMO the answer is NO!!

If those children were happy and "comfortable" where they were at then they should have been left alone to thrive as they were. The bioparents have to WANT to get straight and they have to do it for themselves or it will never stick anyway. So they should have provided services to mom and if she chose not to do anything, then so be it, and TPR would have happened and these kids would have been better off. They should not have their lives disrupted just so that mom MIGHT worry about where they are or who they are with to the point of doing something. That is ridiculous and I feel your frustration.

I would contact the CW supervisor and ask to have the thought process of this explained because it sounds ludicrous at best.

Also, is there a reason why biograndmother has not asked for custody of these two younger children or why another relative has not stepped forward? Either way, it shouldn't matter.....but IF grandmother had taken them in where does CPS think these kids would be everyday...well, at the daycare where they are everyday now so what's the difference? Mom either has to do it or not.....the placement shouldn't factor in.


Kim

[karla-k]

HI, I was asking not about relative placements but about the kids being moved just to motivate the mother. The grandmother already has the 3 older kids (all teens) and has had two strokes and heart problems due to the stress of the whole situation. She didn't think she could handle a 13 month old and a newborn on top of everything else. She also didn't want to saddle the teens with caring for the babies, they already resent their mother enough.

The grandmother is taking classes to get certified as a respite home so that she can have the babies on some weekends and holidays. The social worker has agreed to this apparently. Again, the mother will not drive the 20 miles and will have nothing to do with her mother, so her showing up at the home when the babies are there is not likely. Bdfore the 13 month old went into care, she had never even seen her grandmother and had no idea who she was.

The oldest teen made a great observation, "What makes mom think she needs to have two babies, she couldn't even take care of us!"

Karla

[karla-k]

I don't think any of the mother's sibs have stepped forward because none of them are in a position to care for the babies (either financially or because they are also very unstable.)

My husband and I have talked about adopting them if the needs arises, but we don't want to foster them b/c I don't think it would be good to be involved in the family aspects of it. Also, we live in another state over 3 hours away, and I don't think the SW or judge would agree to it. Right now the mother is getting visits 3x a week.

We have since begun our own international adoption and would not be able to care for two more.

Karla