[Let_it_Be]

I am waiting for the ICPC to go through so my DH and I can have my nephew. The sw in WV had told us we could have him for a few weeks in the summer so I talked to his FM and we got the dates picked out. I am going to fly up and get him on June 12 and will fly back with him on July 3 to return him.
I am so afraid that having to take him back is going to be really hard on him. FM and I have agreed that we will have K call her every couple of days and she will call him and we will try our best to make him understand that this isn't permenant just yet that he has to go back but we are trying our best to get him down here for good.
DH and I started our MAPP classes last Wed night and have nine more to go. We haven't had our home study yet or the background checks done. The ICPC paper work made its way to FL May 7 but hasn't made it to our local DCF or KCI (I am not sure who gets it first).

Anyhoo my question is what is the best way to explain to him that he has to go back to FM? I don't want him to feel unloved or unwanted.

[athikers]

How old is he? That might help with some answers.

Either way... explain it to him in simple terms. He is just visiting for right now while the judge (and whoever else) work on lots of paperwork so he can come forever. But for now, he will visit and then go back "home" to his foster mom/dad for awhile before he can come stay forever.

[Withay]

I agree with explaining it how Athikers suggested. It does depend on how old he is.

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

We talk alot about paperwork and safety checks in our house. We explain that the judge CANNOT let any child go live somewhere until he/she is SURE it is a safe place. Tell him to do that, you and DH have to fill out alot of papers telling the judge all about yourselves and the judge is sending someone to your house to make sure it is clean enough and safe for kids. But explain that there are alot of people doing the same thing and you have to wait your turn and it may take a little while but you ARE doing everything the judge is telling you to do (this will help if he is old enough to understand that his bioparents did not do what the judge requested of them)

Explain that you are taking classes on how to be SUPER parents and will be getting everything ready for him. If you are 99% sure this is going to happen, you could even have him talk about how he wants his room decorated etc and take him shopping for the stuff while he is visiting. Then assure him you will work on it after he returns to his FM and when he comes back to you he can help with the finishing touches. Buy him some clothes and hang them in HIS closet, etc. This will make him feel more secure that he WILL be coming back to you for good.

Kim