[hkolln]

I'm curious how play therapy works? I'm just so used to the therapist that sits down with you and chats about your week, etc...and helps you deal with your issues. My niece is doing play therapy right now and all it seems is they are doing sessions of playing together...or do they do therapy also at the same time? Is anyone's FC's doing play therapy now? I read conflicting opinions on it...some say it is good, some say it's not. What does everyone here think?

Thanks for any information.

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

My boys attend a play therapy group and I think it is AWESOME! They learn everything they have in regular therapy but the added social aspect is there. Learning how to play and interact with other children their age is a huge bonus. My boys have always had each other so it is not anything really new for them, but it is nice to have them play with others besides themselves.

[stevenstwin]

It really depends on what the PURPOSE is. Generally it is mainly so that they therapist can observe the child at first, and then guide the play to correct negative experiences, help them build skills, etc. A lot of kids are a lot more "honest" in their play - you'll hear them talking to their dolls like their moms talked to them - may even re-enact physical or sexual abuse with toys. (Heck - even my bio daughters imitate reality in their play..I remember feeling like a very bad mommy when I noticed how much time Mrs. Quack-Quack the duck spent on time out! ;-) When used for the right reasons I hear it can be very good. Negative reviews may come from it being used for the wrong reasosn - eg: it won't do one darn thing for attachment disorders (we tried TheraPlay which was very different - highly interactive, structured play involving the parents. Play therapy is generally done WITHOUT the parents). I've also heard people complain when an unskilled therapist seems to use it just like "free play time" without guiding it anywhere or using it to evaluate real needs.

Originally Posted by hkolln

I'm curious how play therapy works? I'm just so used to the therapist that sits down with you and chats about your week, etc...and helps you deal with your issues. My niece is doing play therapy right now and all it seems is they are doing sessions of playing together...or do they do therapy also at the same time? Is anyone's FC's doing play therapy now? I read conflicting opinions on it...some say it is good, some say it's not. What does everyone here think?

Thanks for any information.

[hkolln]

Thanks for everyone responses.

Her play therapist is from our agency and works with kids there alot. I have very litle knowledge of how it worked so I appreciate the input. I hope it helps her out. I find our niece does alot of playing with imaginary friends so I think she is pretty vocal in play therapy. I was just curious if it also involved any actual talking (IE: convential therapy). The reason I asked was because Weds our niece was visibly upset in school. The school administrator noticed and referred her to the crisis SW there (she comes in when there is grief counseling needed and is not there every day). The crisis SW called me that day and spoke to me about the situation. Our niece needed very badly to get alot of her past abuse off her chest and just unloaded her emotions on the crisis SW. I am so glad she was there to talk to her. She said she said alot of good things about us and loving it here however she just felt sad and missing her Mom and scared of her Dad. Then she was fine and went back to class. Sometimes I feel our niece really needs a good therapist to listen to her and other times play therapy is just what she likes....so I'm not sure which is better.

[scandi]

When play therapy is done correctly, the play that is acted out can bring up alot of past trauma. However, it usually won't appear until later - next day, week etc. That is how many kids who aren't able to verbalize their feelings work thru there trauma.

just my opinion and experiences. both boys are in a form of play therapy.

[hkolln]

Originally Posted by scandi

When play therapy is done correctly, the play that is acted out can bring up alot of past trauma. However, it usually won't appear until later - next day, week etc. That is how many kids who aren't able to verbalize their feelings work thru there trauma.

See that was what I was wondering because her play therapy is every Tuesday and I notice she does mention alot of things related to her past the day after the therapy. Maybe that was why she was so emotional on Wednesday? And she does have trouble verbalizing stuff. She will tell you bits and pieces however not everything.

[stevenstwin]

Ask her therapist about it. I think different ones have sort of differnet approaches - I think a lot use the play as a start towards talking more directly with the child if they are old enough and able to (but I think it is also often just a starting point for kids that AREN'T ready to talk about it yet) so just let the therapist know that she does seem to want to talk as well. I'm getting a lot better about asking directly what therapy is all about, what the goals are, etc. This after figuring out through trial and error that our first two weren't doing any good at all (both JUST traditional talk and not including me in it at all, and one not even willing to tell me how it was going due to "privilege")

[scandi]

My youngest will come home from play therapy and sleep for several hours because he is worn out emotionally. It doesn't seem like much is happening in the session but it is. I can see the changes in his attachment and behaviors.

[coachmur]

if she is RAD it won't work.

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by coachmur

if she is RAD it won't work.

very true. It doesn't sound in this case, though, like there are a whole lot of signs of any severe attachment disorder. I'm very encouraged to see that she is grieving appropriately for former caregivers, and neither outright rejecting nor immediately leaping into a false intimacy with her new parents. Hopefully this child has dodged that particular bullet!

[hkolln]

Originally Posted by coachmur

if she is RAD it won't work.

She seems to have dodged that bullet from what I can gather. She formed a bond with her previous foster family and her Mom and we are seeing her being able to trust us more and more each day. She has no troubles telling you she loves you or giving you hugs and kisses (upon knowing you of course-not immediately). She is able to speak about her experiences and does so only to people she trusts. She doesn't seem to have the symptoms of RAD. When we first learned about her they said she had some attachment issues...however I don't think they are very severe. Of course with the abuse she went thru there could always be issues that pop up later on. Right now she is adjusting well and we haven't had any major RAD symptoms pop up.

She did get upset yesterday and cried really loud in her room. My husband was punishing our 13 yr old daughter for something and she gets scared when that happens. When I see her upset I just go to her room and hold her in my arms and she calms down and we talk. I let her know she's not being punished and that we love her. She seems to be ok afterwards. Is this something I need to bring up to the counselor?

She's having a psych evaluation today with a psychologist at our agency which I'm taking her to. We'll see what he has to say also.

[stevenstwin]

I would definitely bring that up with the counsellor, just because it is a part of how she is and shows probably some sort of trauma memories. (although I have one bio daughter who is so sensitive that she cries if the teacher yells at another child at school, even if it has nothing to do with her!). As far as the attacment thing goes - just wanted to throw in that the disorder is such a big spectrum. I've come to believe that most RAD children will never truly heal...but go on down that spectrum and it's a very different story! My fs was 14.5 when he came to me, and considered "moderately" attachment disordered, and pretty much now deemed "healed" for the most part, despite the occasional regression. His SW's and Counsellors are constantly amazed at the degree of true attachment he shows with my family and me in particular, as they had at one point decided that he would most likely need to live in some sort of group home or other non-family setting for the rest of his life. And that is a child that is a fair bit older than your niece! I credit his own extreme motivation and our therapist's hard work - although I will tell you that TheraPlay was weird with a 15 year old - hand feeding him and lots of "baby" type games, LOL

[hkolln]

Originally Posted by stevenstwin

I would definitely bring that up with the counsellor, just because it is a part of how she is and shows probably some sort of trauma memories. (although I have one bio daughter who is so sensitive that she cries if the teacher yells at another child at school, even if it has nothing to do with her!).

OMG! That sounds just like our niece. She cries when someone else is upset. She had a situation at school. A kid was poking her in the arm and she asked him to please stop. He started crying. She gave him a tissue and told him "It will be ok Honey!" OOPS...she told me about it and said "I didn't mean to call him Honey" and laughed. I guess it just came out.

As I was holding her yesterday we both cried...and she gave me tissues. I hate to see her hurting and she is so loving from all that she has been thru. In a way it's amazing that they can be so compassionate after being hurt so terribly.

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by hkolln

In a way it's amazing that they can be so compassionate after being hurt so terribly.

I wonder sometimes about that with my FS. In many ways he is NOT a very nice kid, in the compassion department. He is quite intolerant of his peers, and such a "victim" that he doesn't believe anyone else feels pain. But then he has moments that astonish me - one time we were in a restaurant, and an elderly lady was struggling to pull her chair in - he leaped right up to help her. Another time we saw a cabbie trying to get a fellow out of his car and into a wheelchair - and again he was right over there to help. Not a lot of teenage boys that I know would be so quick to act. And once I DO manage to get it through his head that some kid he doesn't like has problems of his own, his whole attitude changes and he'll forgive them ANYTHING they've done to him and try to befriend them.

[foster_bub]

keep in mind that just because she bonded doesn't mean she does not have rad.. it works both ways.. may not bond.. and may bond/approach anyone. there's a good course on SocialLearning.com, Foster Parent College