[CATJNY]

our bio daughter has a psycho. therapist come to our house every few weeks for play therap, really it's supposed to be for grief counseling since losing our 5.5 month old in february to a heart defect, since she is only turning 3, the therapist as she cant do grief counseling b/c kids that young dont understand death, so what she does in our situation or play therapy is she has been making a memory book with her, letting her draw and paint, she lets my dd call the shots some times but generally asks her to draw certain things etc., and all the while she talks with me about anything i feel the need to.

[RobinKay]

Originally Posted by hkolln

I'm curious how play therapy works? I'm just so used to the therapist that sits down with you and chats about your week, etc...and helps you deal with your issues. My niece is doing play therapy right now and all it seems is they are doing sessions of playing together...or do they do therapy also at the same time? Is anyone's FC's doing play therapy now? I read conflicting opinions on it...some say it is good, some say it's not. What does everyone here think?

Thanks for any information.

Hi Helen--

Our lil guy has done play therapy for a little over a year now. First, I want to reassure you it works. Children, especially children who have been "damaged" can't articulate their emotions and play therapy is a way for them to process what they have been through.

The therapist is accomplishing several things--one is observing the child during play. This tells the therapist how "different" the child might be from same-age peers. The "difference" the therapist notices is probably due to the negative experiences the child has been through. For example, lil guy was very hyperactive at first, wanting to rush from one game/activity to another. Now he thinks about others, is calmer and more interested in what someone else might like to play.

The therapist is also working on establishing a bond of trust with the child. An adult who "hires" a therapist can know the therapist is a safe person, but a child does not understand that abstract concept. Once lil guy's therapist was "bonded" with him, they would briefly talk about things that made them sad. She would often bring up topics based on herself. For example, she once talked about her parents washing her mouth out with soap. Lil guy was amazed at this, and then was able to share it happened to him also (I had coached therapist on this one-lil guy had disclosed that to me). Lil guy was then able to continue that thought, talking about other things that happened to him that made him sad--then later he could talk about how it made him angry. These conversations were very very short-he did not like to talk about "stuff" like that. He was able to discuss everything eventually but it took a long time.

The therapist also took him out to lunch sometimes, so she observed him out in public. What she saw there was that he was hypervigilant-extremely aware of adults and older children around him. Different from most children, who trust the adults with them to keep them safe. As this trait went away, we knew his level of security was increasing and he was healing.

With younger children, the talking part may or may not happen. But the activities and observations are very important, and do help the child process emotions they cannot handle. Lil guy is 8 by the way. He had a therapist in FL and one here in HI. I am not positive the FL therapist did play therapy, but I am sure of the therapist here.

Hope this helps--you can PM me if you'd like.