[JenCB]

I guess I'm just looking for someone who has been through this to reassure me we'll be approved anyway or tell me that I'm crazy to keep hoping we'll be approved.

Here's the story.... Dh got a DWI 10.5 years ago. He was driving home and there was a wreck that couldn't be seen until you were right up on it. He hit the wreck and was charged with a DWI. (no one was hurt except him)

So we've adopted once already (internationally) about 3 years ago. We did disclose this to our homestudy agency, but nothing every showed up on the clearances.

Now, we are trying to adopt through DCFS. I got a call from the SW and she said there was an issue on DH's local clearance. Come to find out it was the DWI from 10.5 years ago. I had not told the SW about it because I honestly thought it was behind him (especially since 3 years ago it didn't show up anywhere). So DH had to write a statement explaining the situation. We made sure to explain (per the SW request) that this was 2 years before we were married and 6 years before we had kids. Also, this was a ONE time deal and he's not even had a speeding ticket since. He is VERY consious of the mistake he made and tries to make sure others don't make the same mistake he did. (this we included in the statement as well)

So the SW says it will now have to go before the state board and they will decide to either allow us to continue with the adoption process or have a meeting with us to further discuss the issue and tell us if we can adopt or not. (that was a over a week ago now)

My question is, what do you think our chances are that we will get approved to adopt with this on his record? Mind you I have nothing on my record (not even a speeding ticket) and like I said, this is the one and only thing on his record. Also, if we are denied, is this the end of the road for making our family? Will any agency allow us to adopt if we are denied by DCFS?

I'm very curious to hear people's opinions on this.

Thanks,
Jen

[kakuehl]

I'm not the person who can answer this, but I suspect the bigger problem is because you didn't mention it. (Along the lines of "What elese didn't they tell us.") I hope the board says yes.

[JenCB]

Thanks. I actually only talked to the SW once. It was when I initially called for info about adopting through DCFS. I tried to call her time and time again after that to get questions answered and never got a response. So in my defense, I never would have been able to discuss this with her since I couldn't get ahold of her. I didn't hear from her again until after the clearances came back.

Also, we went to a meeting for foster/adopt recruitment and in that meeting we were told that if it was not within the last 3 years, to "don't worry about it because it won't even show up." This was told to a group of people (including us) by another SW in the same office.

I understand what you're saying though about not mentioning it and what else we are hiding.

Jen

[crick]

With the strict guidelines SW's and the state have to follow, every little detail like that is of importance. I think it's probably what Kathy said...more the not disclosing than the DWI itself from 10.5 years ago. Although I can understand why it didn't occur to you to disclose since it was so long ago!!

My gut says not to worry about it and just comply with their wait and questions.

The state has to be so diligent and strict in their paperwork and investigation so it's not uncommon for them to go through their steps of a board meeting etc.

[foster_bub]

I agree.. a DUI from over a decade ago should NOT have any negative impact on you being able to foster and adopt.

In fact there are folks who foster/adopt that have drug convictions etc. Set your mind at ease, you should have NO problems moving forward.

[JenCB]

Thanks fosterbub. I really appreciate your thoughts. I was hoping that would be what people thought, but I'm such a worry wart I just needed to 'hear' it. :-)

Jen

[KariBill04]

Keep us posted on what happens.

[JenCB]

Thanks. :-) I'll certainly post when we have some sort of answer on the situation. I want to thank you all for the kindness you've shown me here. I started not to even post this because I didn't want to get the "well you got what you deserved for getting a DWI" flaming emails. I did get a PM of a similar situation and it really helped. (as well as all of you that posted here) So again, thanks.

Jen

[AmahMama]

Oh if there would be such a search on the bio's before ru - now that would be something to read about!!

[JenCB]

Well I just wanted to let you all know what ended up happening. DH and I decided that this was not for us. We have decided to adopt international again. We decided to cancel our adoption process through DCFS. Best of luck to everyone trying to adopt.

[mrsred]

wowAlso, we went to a meeting for foster/adopt recruitment and in that meeting we were told that if it was not within the last 3 years, to "don't worry about it because it won't even show up." This was told to a group of people (including us) by another SW in the same office."
I ermember over and over all the workers we were in contact with, both state and agnecy stressing that it be important we were up front about everything, because finding something that is not disclosed could be damaging, so I am surprised they would say that to you.
So, I tool things quite literally and mentioned when dh had fallen off the wagon, and while drinking and on meds for anxiety attempted suicide. Dh, on his written paperwork did say he had been through alcohol rehab, but did not mention the suicide attempt. The suicide attempt was not really a legitimate attempt, it was a side effect of the medication and alcohol and had happened 11 years earlier, with complete sobriety since. Anyway, they did order him to see a therapist so that their could be a determination as to whether or not there would be future risk.
Anyway, since we just finalized our second adoption thru the foster system I guess they felt we were not a risk.

[dscarter]

I can understand that BUT< LOOK AT THIS: She said that she hasnt even gotten a chance to speak with her worker. That is exactly what I am going through. I was mailed crim cks, filled them out and sent them in, I have heard nothing, I have been emailing a lot of questions but I only hear short reponses. What and when do you tell these things? I am sure that they will ask in the application process. The point is, Jen didnt get asked or has not spoken to her worker in regards to past issues so where was the chance to speak up?

Jen, I pray that you go with your heart on this. I will.. I had a DUI myself over 10 years ago, I havent spoken with dSS, I havent even gotten my first home visit yet. SO, when should I tell them?

[tattudemom]

Dscarter, I'd call and tell someone now. My husband has an assault charge (misdemeanor) and we talked to the supervisor who ran the orientation that night. She stated we should give her a copy of the police report along with our written explanation, which I kept a copy of also. We have our last meeting this Thursday, but so far, the issue hasn't been brought up by anyone again. I certainly hope they aren't going to let us get this far into it and blast us upon the homestudy completion with not being approved!

If I were you, I'd mention it and do the written explanation to be included in your paperwork. That way you won't be accused of hiding anything even if it was so long ago (which I think won't be held against you at all).

[lookingforbaby2]

I had some concerns along the same lines. I am currently in PRIDE classes. Last Thursday was our third class and we did our fingerprinting. When they did mine, like everyone else's, they asked if I had ever been fingerprinted before. I told them that I had as a juvenile, because I had trouble with running away and drugs. This was when I was 14-16. I am now 26 years old. I have not has so much as a speeding ticket since I have been 18. Well, I was extremely worried that this would disqualify me from becoming a foster parent. I told her that as soon as she asked me and she basically said that we'll see what happens and what comes back from the background check. I wanted to know if anyone had a similar situation or have heard of anyone that has. I am just looking for some reassurance I suppose until I find out from them that everything went ok.