[Jomo]

Hi Everyone,

I have a few questions that I really need answered and I'm hoping that I can get help with that here. I have a tendency to write long posts, so this may be long, but please bear with me.

I really don't know what kind of reaction I will get to my situation here, but I'm hoping for honesty.

I'm currently a student, majoring in social work. I still have a couple of years to go before I get my degree, but my hope is that once I'm done with school I will be able to adopt out of foster care.
I'm unable to have children myself, so due to that and the fact that there are thousands of kids in this country that are lingering in foster care and waiting for a permanent home, I think this would be a perfect solution for me and the child/children I can give the good life that everyone deserves.

However, there is a problem. And possibly a major one at that.
I was physically abused as a child and in my teens I was a ward of the state. Mostly because of my own behavior I kept being moved from group home to foster home to juvenile detention centers. When I was fifteen I lived in a group home where I made friends with another girl. She was smoking heroin and before long, so was I. To make a long story short, I of course became addicted.
For the next several years I went from smoking to injecting and prostituted myself to support my habit. In the end I lost my apartment and ended up homeless for many months. I struggled to get clean and had a few longer periods of sobriety but always ended up relapsing.
But three years ago I got my life back. I finally found a treatment that worked for me. I've been clean and extremely happy ever since.
I have totally turned my life around. I'm happily married (my husband has never had any drug or other problems), I'm working and have gone back to school where I'm doing great. I'm getting mostly A's and a few B's, which is quite an accomplishment considering that I haven't gone to school since I was fifteen.

I think that my experiences coupled with my education would make me uniquely qualified to empathize with and handle certain situations, and I know for a fact that I would be a great parent especially to a child with certain special needs, such as behavioral problems. If I had any doubts about that I wouldn't even consider this. I, unlike my mother, do under no circumstances want to jeopardize the well-being of any child because of my own problems.

The problem, which may be obvious, is that I don't know how the DCFS would view my past problems when it comes to being approved for adoption or foster care. I have previously been arrested, but not convicted, for possession of heroin and another time for prostitution. I'm going to have this record expunged, but I'm sure that this would still be an issue if I apply for a home study.

So what do you guys think, especially those of you who are social work professionals? Do I have any chances of being approved for adoption a few years from now? And if so, how should I approach my past when in contact with a case worker?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Jomo

[scandi]

First I would like to congratulate you on all the hard work you have done to make changes in your life. I am a child protection social worker in my state. I am not sure what state you are in. I have to say that in my county if we were presented with this information we would still consider you for adoption. You have some experiences that can not be adequately provided for unless lived. I would research your agency very thoroughly - interview them to see which would give you the fairest shot at this. There are workers/agencies out there that will do your homestudy and then not do any work for you to find a child. Be honest about your past and provide documentation of expunged record, any treatment and other positve things you have done in your life. Have your references lined up. In my state background checks only go back 5 or 10 years - I can't remember which is has recently changed. Anything before that we would know only because of the clients honesty or someone else's slip. I commend you for getting your life together. I work with methamphetamine addicts and it is a long road and not all of them make it and turn their lives around. I have seen first hand what you had done to get your life together. well tried to put hand clapping smiles in here but couldn't get it to work good luck with your endeavors

[ilysse]

I think you have a very good chance of being approved. According to everything that my social worker went over with us, these past issues may actually make you a better parent to a 'special needs' child. They look at who you are now, not who you were. I have an arrest in my history and an attempted suicide when I was a teen. My understanding of and ability to over come the issues that I faced that led to my attemted suicide is what the social worker concentrated on and the way she writes it in my home study. Because of the issues I faced I can better help a child with similar issues. Because of the mistakes my parents made, I know what not to do in a similar situation. I think you do too and I am sure a SW will be able to see that.

[Emster]

I think as long as you have no child-related crimes or felonies on your record, you will be considered. Your life experiences certainly give you an understanding of issues that many children in foster care willa lso be facing. Be prepared, however, to undergo closer scrutiny through the process. They may want supporting evidence of your sobriety, emotional stability, etc. They may even ask that you undergo counseling to make sure certain issues are resolved in their minds. They want to be assured that they would not be moving a child from one home that is chaotic into another that is similarly so. Just be prepared up front. Good luck on building your family!

[krajewskim]

My friend is a wonderful lady who adopted 4 bi-racial children. She has a history much like yours. She wasn't a ward but was abused as a child, molested, and had a terrible heroin/alcohol habit. It is simply a coping mechanism. I tried suicide a few times and used to drink and we have been certified by DHHR, YAP, and a private religous agency. In fact, my friend adopted her children through the religous agency!!!! They knew about everything and agreed that her past - her overcoming a hard childhood - made her an even better candidate to adopt children. I could never figure out why God had let someone sexually abuse me. I spent many years being angry at him. Then my beautiful son came at 2 yrs old and had been molested himself. I was able to understand his pain and help him heal. I had some serious apologizing to do to God, too!! He knew me and loved me. He knew my son, too and loved him. He wanted me to be able to understand my son. He knew I could handle and heal from what I went through and that I could lead my son to recovery as well. I believe you will be the same kind of person as many of us are - hurt as children ourselves and put on earth to help others heal and grow. God Bless You in All your Efforts!!!!