[BrandyHagz]

Madfostermomma,

While many would agree that many of the birthparents that lose their rights to the system do indeed get to many chances and the children are the ones that suffer when that happens, there are many birthparents on these forums who read various different forums to educate themselves on the many aspects of adoption…and your statement is offensive to those members. Because our forums are not segregated and because sweeping generalizations are offensive to almost everyone they are in reference to, we ask that members not use them, but instead, stick to giving information based on their experiences with their own situations.

So, had the statement said, ‘the birthparents of my foster children have been given to many chances’ or something along those lines, that would be fine…but to dump all birthparents into one big category of uncaring people is offensive to the many birthparents who visit this forum.

We don’t like general bashing of any side of the triad…discussing personal situations minimizes that. We just want the entire forums community to be a non-hostile and welcoming place for everyone in the triad.

[stevenstwin]

Well, my original comment was directed at the COURT SYSTEM, not the bio parents. Even our social worker agrees that it is weighted very much in favour of the parents (here, in Alberta, anyway) - that their rights are upheld first and foremost, over those of the child. That isn't to say that the parents in question are doing anything wrong themselves - just that the system is flawed. In our specific case, the trial has been adjourned 4 times because the bio mom hasn't had time to get a lawyer. My comment isn't about her - but about a judge that considers it fair and reasonable to keep a child waiting for an answer for nearly a year, so as to make sure that he is not violating the "rights" of the mother to take as long as she wants to prepare her case.

[taramayrn]

Just need to be a bit more clear in your statements that's all. If you are referring to the court system then say so. If you feel that the courts give birthparents too much leeway then say that, not "birthparents get too much leeway".

Regardless a generalization was used and it was offensive. If you read the TOS you will find that we do not encourage the use of generalizations as they can alienate certain members here. As Brandy said earlier we want this place to be as non-hostile as possible. This matter is not up for discussion.