[MichelleSchultz]

Hi,

I'm new to this board and am only just now getting serious about foster-adoption. I plan to attend orientation in July.
I have soooo many questions right now. We currently have 4 bio children already, and we do not plan on having any more bio's. What I'd most like to do is adopt sibling group so we can keep them together...and because I just love kids and big familes.

Q#1 Is there such thing as "too many" children when you adopt? Would you consider this irresponsible considering we have what many would call a large family already? I wonder this because we are NOT a rich family by no means. Our bills are paid on time, we're buying our home and we have plenty to eat, but things like braces, or camp are very difficult, if not impossible right now (one child is going to camp this summer, but he had to earn the money/save birthday money and they gave us a scholorship). I stay at home with my children, and feel this is more important than those other things right now. Our kids, bio or adopted will never have parents who can "give them everything". That being said, my bio's are fine with that and I imagine that if I were in foster care, I'd want to be with my siblings and adopted by someone who loves me more than being adopted by a family with money. Has anyone in a similar situation adopted several more children? How did your adopted children feel? How did your bio children feel? Has this been a good decision for your family? Why or Why not?

Q#2 The adoption worker I spoke with the other day said they allow up to 3 children in one bedroom...is that too many in one bedroom in your opinion? We have a 4 bedroom home and 2 children share a room, 2 are in a room by themself.

Q#3 If we adopt a sibling group (I'm thinking 3 to 4 children if this seems to be healthy for all children involved bio's and adopted) how do you get everyone to feel bonded? My bio's ages are 13, 10, 7, almost 6. They are all completely for adoption...but of course, none of us know what this would be like now. How difficult is it to have 2 seperate sibling groups bond to become 1 set of siblings? Are there any books of this topic? Anyone out there with experience and advice?

Q#4 Okay, weird question....how do you get around? as a family when you have a really large family. My mini-van holds 7 people...we're a family of 6. Passenger vans seem difficult to drive and dangerous according to some of the reports I was reading since I've been trying to research this topic.


Q#5 Are there any forums specifically for sibling adoption or large family adoptions out there on the web? I found some at one time, but my other computer has crashed and I can't find them now.


I just want to do what's best for everyone involved.

Blessings,
Michelle

[shaggy5411]

Good luck with a large sibling group. My foster/adopt children came from a group of five. The three that i have all have a physical or mental disabilty. The other two are physically abusive. As much as I would have loved to keep them all together . That cannot happen because my job is to keep them all safe and I don't feel that I could do that with all of them. These children have been through so much and by the time they are ready to be adopted they are so angry that you may never get through to them

[jen1mac]

We have 4 kids- 2 bio, 1 foster/adopt and 1 foster hopefully able to adopt. We also want more after we adopt our 4th daughter if we are able to. Because our kids are younger(1, 2, 5, and 7) and all girls we have 2 in each room where there is one bio and one adopted kid. That way they are around each other more. We just love them all the same and treat them all the same. The longer you have them the easier it will be. The hard part sometimes is other family members outside the home treating them differently. We have some grandparents that send more to our bio kids then our adopted daughter. We have had all 3 of our daughters in a room while our foster daughter wasn't sleeping through the night and they loved it. As far as vehicle, we have a suburban but if we adopted more we will have to buy a 12 or 15 passenger van and just pray and trust the Lord with safety!