[stacykelly]

We are from Maryland and would like to adopt through social services in another state. We are trying to find out exactly what needs to be done and just how long is the wait to adopt from another state. We see and have been interested in some of the children who are on the the list as waiting. We are currently in a private adooption and have had our medicals done and the court investigator has inspected our home. Could we possibly use this information to adopt from another state? Please if someone could give us some information we would greatly apprecaite it.

[DianeS]

First you will need to qualify as adoptive parents through social services in Maryland. I doubt your private adoption homestudy could be used, but I suppose it's possible.

You'll have to do the state's state adoption classes, too. Usually 12-30 (depending on yourstate rules) hours of classes. There may be other additional issues, like additional questions or additional references or more stringent home check, depending on the private agency you used and the rules of Maryland's state adoptions office.

Then once you're approved, you may have to wait before you can seek information on children out of state. Or you may have to pay your worker for the work that was done before you can look out of state. Those vary. But once you've done those requirements you're free to have your worker send your homestudy out of state and inquire about children in those areas.

There is no "wait" per se, other than the wait to see whether you're chosen for each individual child or not. You already know children are born and waiting for families, but children in social services custody are almost always special needs children - some of them are HIGHLY special needs children. And it takes some time to find the right match for them. They are advertised as waiting, they take time to collect homestudies, often they assemble a panel of people who know the child or the child's needs to go over the homestudies and pick the best match.

Then the waiting parents are usually given ALL of the information on the child and the child's issues. This far outweighs what little is put on those photolisting biographies you've read. The parents go through all that information and decide if they wish to parent that child. If they do, and if all goes well when they meet with and live with that child, then you've lost out on the chance to parent that child.

If they decide during that process that they do not wish to parent that child, the panel goes back to the homestudies (sometimes the originals, sometimes a new batch) and chooses a different one. They give the information, wait for an answer, etc.

Therefore it takes weeks, to months, and sometimes a year or more to hear back about a particular child. If you are chosen, you hear. If you are not chosen, you usually don't hear anything.

The people most likely to be chosen are ones who are open to parenting children with a variety of special needs. They are knowledgeable about many types of needs, they've done a lot of reasearch including gaining experience about those needs by talking with other parents and their affected children, assembling a support group, knowing where they can take their child to for specialist care, etc.

But often waiting parents who attempt to adopt only through photolistings wait QUITE a while. Not because there is a waiting "list" really, but because the system moves so slowly, and because there are SO many parents looking to adopt the same type of low-needs child who rarely becomes available.

Anyhow, I'm starting to ramble. The starting point is calling social services where you live. They'll be in the government pages of the phone book. Attend their orientation, find out what they do and how they do it, and join up. Once you are in the classes you'll learn a LOT about yourselves and the types of special needs you are willing and able to handle.

Good luck!