[FostermomCathie]

I havent had to deal with having to prepare my foster children for P.termination yet. My 7 yr old is very parentified, her whole identity was caring for her 4 younger siblings. The family will most likely be seperated. How do I talk to the girls about this?
They are seeing a therapist so I am sure she can help me but a lot of the questions are coming up at bed time etc.
I dont lie to them but I cant figure out age appropriete language to use for such a serious subject so I am afraid I am just "laying it out there" pretty much.
I am always positive when I talk about what will happen but they arent buying into all the glitz even at 7 and 5yrs old.
Unfortunately we arent in the situation to take them. They are scared of the whole adoption subject so I dont approach it right now. Any suggestions?

[Dr. Art]

Dear Cathie,

Yes, this is a very difficult and sensitive area. I'd really encourage you to talk with the children's therapist about these quesitons and issues. The therapist should be willing to meet with you for a hour to discuss the children's situation in detail and advise you on what to say or not say.

I know that when I do this with foster parents, it is very important to understand each child's unique history and experiences and psychological make up and what are the plans for the child...that then allows me to advise the parent with specific things to do and say that will be most helpful.

Overall, you, generally, want to reassure the child about your feelings for the child and your wishes for the child. Those don't change and can provide some measure of security during a uncertain time.

regards