[New Foster Mom]

I hope someone can give me advice about dealing with a "bad SW". We called the police on a relative for knowing a child in her custody was being sexually abused by her grandson. At that time, DHR asked us if we would be willing to take two of the children taken from the home. We said yes. A month passed and we did not hear anything from DHR. I called 1-2 times a week to check on the children, but was told nothing. One night, the SW called me and said the boy who was abused had done the same to a foster child where he was placed. She told us that if we didnt come get him, he would be placed in a hospital. We went to the foster home and picked him up that night. Then, we heard nothing. I called her office every other day but all i got was voice mail and no return calls. The other boy that was placed in a foster home was my husbands biological nephew and we wanted him also but couldnt even get the right to visit him. 3 months have passed and we still havent been given visitation. We feel like we are being punished. The SW will not work with us only against us. I went over her head to her boss and boy that was the wrong thing to do. Now we are treated even worse. She is a terrible SW and going over her head did nothing but cause the situation to be worse. We dont know what to do.

[jenatmcds]

Please know full well that this could backfire and you could be without your current placement or any contact . . .
If your state has a office of Child Advocacy (an agency whose sole purpose is to police the foster care system) you could lodge a complaint with them. They tend to be a lot like OSHA - when they come in they will find something wrong and there will be *** to pay - however, if you really feel that no one at your local office will pay attention to your complaints - it may be your only option. We ended up complaining to our state office and about a caseworker who was not meeting with us every month. We had told her supervisor and the center director; however, they were reluctant to do anything about her because of concerns over racism. A lot of foster parents had complained - black & white - however, because there were no other black placement workers at the time, they felt compelled to keep her on. The state office stepped in and they did force her to resign; however, we and several other foster parents are paying dearly in that the cases she had were so mismanaged that we are now under much scrutiny.
This is definitely a "at your own risk" solution.
Good Luck to you

[lambeausam]

I can't tell from you signature profile what state you're from, but...in Illinois the office to complain to is the Ombud's office. Illinois even has a 800 hotline number. I wish you well!

[rindava]

1st they are involation of federal law if you are a bio-relative and have requested him placed with you and not a non-relative foster home. SW are supposed to look for all friends and relatives to place children with.

Find out who these kids CASA worker or GAL are. They should have one. Request them to come and see the kid and ask why the sib is not placed with him? Do you have room to place the kids in separt rooms? DSS may say they can't place kids together as on is an offender. Are you getting kinship care money for the one you have?

You can also request that the worker and you have a conflict in personalities and you need another worker.

If you get the CASA worker or GAL on your side, you are safer then if you can't get anyone on your side. How are things going with bio-parents? Are they saying anything against you?

You never know what goes through the mind of an SW.

[alicia hunter]

I've found my child's worker hard to deal with also. Now that it has been 18 months I know how she works. I do not leave voice mail, because, I'm sure you know, many times it is not answered. I just keep calling back till I catch her at her desk. Then she has to talk to me because she answered the phone. I know it is frustrating, but keep at it. Also be assertive but not agressive. At first I let the worker have everything her way, but then I got assertive. I think that sometimes we have to prove ourselves to workers for them to treat us fairly. Now we have a good working relationship and I can get things done more easily with her. Good luck!

[un3ger2]

Dear NFM,

Since you've already suffered the slings and arrows of an 'over the top' shot...keep going.

1. Request an emergency meeting with the worker, the worker's supervisor, and the agency director. All three must be present.

Don't accept anything less. director should be willing to meet with foster parents. It's possible agency has a FP grievance policy with steps you must follow prior to that. Get a copy in writing and get busy.

Whether meeting is with 1st group above or another group, try to get worker, wker's super, and as high a level administrator as you can. If not, just keep going up the grievance 'ladder.'

Your goal is a new social worker, either literally or figuratively. Bring the child to the meeting. Bring a short, written, 3 sentence description of the problem, a short written 3 sentence history of how the child came into your home, and a short written 3 sentence description of the child's relationship with your family and what you have done for the child.

Then your verbal message: good foster parents, good relationship, this worker is probably a good worker with more work than she can handle. Not able to get back to us. We want what is best for these children. We want to work successfully with this worker/super so that the foster children in our home get what they need and we can provide a good home to (nephew) also if possible.

If current worker isn't able to do that, we'd like a new worker who can commicate/support us in a timely manner.

Go into meeting asking for worker to treat you/your foster children as if she was willing/able to meet all your needs. Bring a list...friendly, timely, caring, cooperative, communicative, professional, supportive, meets kids needs without undue delays, etc. etc.

If I can't have this, I want a new worker. My foster kid deserves nothing less than what I'm asking for...and what I'm asking for is reasonable...all I'm asking for is what your agency is supposed to be doing for me anyway.

Get a copy of agency's current written publicity flyer where they identify mission statement, how much they care about kids, how well and how popsitively they work with FPs, etc. Point it out to them....'this is what I want.'

2) call your state's licensing department (agency's get licensed, too, or at least to meet professional practice standards. You may have to call your state's 'central office).' Ask if any agency licensing rules prohibit worker from doing what (she's?) doing. Rules that apply to agencyorganization, administration, competency of staff should all apply.

All state's licensing standards for child welfare agencies require minimally acceptable staff behavior/professionalism and caring about children.

Chances are, your worker isn't allowed to do what you have described.

Don't file a licensing complaint yet, but have this as an arrow in your quiver when you have your agency meeting(s). 'Your worker/agency is not allowed to do this (point/read).

If you don't guarantee me the quality service guaranteed by your state (legislator), I'm going to file a licensing complaint. I don't want to do this, but I sill if I have to. I want to be cooperative with your agency, but I must first fight for my foster child.

3) call Gov's office. Get to Omsbudsman. If none, talk to the gov's secretary. Explain your problem. Can you help me?

4) do the same with your stte senator and representative.

5) go to the most local newspaper who has written stories on fp's. Offer to be interviewed for an article on what it takes to be a good foster parent and the need for more of them just like you. Spotlight your relationship with your foster child. Don't mention your problems with the agency. Try to do this before 1-4 if you can.

This will shine the light on you and make it harder for the agency to be vindictive, controlling, retaliatory, etc.

Be sure 1st, to tell all your children that you care about all of them and are going to fight for what is best for them, and no matter what happens, you love them, and care about them, and will always fight for them and what is right.

Good luck.

Find me at Im4kids.com

chris