[threescomp]

We are trying to adopt my 8 year old brother-in-law. We have a temporary guardianship agreement that was signed by the childs parents be for the mother passed away, and the fathers parental rights have been terminated. Now we are trying to adopt, but the childs brother is opposed to the adoption and says that we can continue with the guardianship. Does anyone have any idea why he would want to do this? Legal reasons, as well as emotional. We have had this child for 2 years now.

[rindava]

I am guessing that your husband is also the brother of the child??

I think you will loose social security benifits to the child if you adopt him. But other then that, I don't have a clue.

Is he upset because he thinks the child is too young to decide to be adopted?

Or does he think you will cut him off from his brother?

Does he think some name should be carried on or something?

I don't think even if he does not agree with it that he can stop you if the child has lived with you that long and the courts agree with your position.

Good Luck!!!

[lucyjoy]

Why does the brother have any say? Unles he was appointed some legal jurisdiction, he has no say.

Emotionally, he may feel that letting you adopt him dishonors the memory of his parents. He may feel like by you becoming the boys parents, the former parents are being replaced.

Explain to him that you are not in anyway replacing his first mom, just providing stability for his brother. Also, his mother placed you as guardian before her death because she didn't want him to grow up with out a mom.

(I am not a social worker or a therapist)

[threescomp]

I really appreciate your comments. Its my wifes brother's that we are talking about, I would be the adoptive father. The name thing can't be it because the siblings don't share the same last name, besides we have never even brought up the issue of changing the childs last name. If in the future (when he is old enough) and he decides he wants to change his name then I believe thats up to the child. Visitation has never been denied to the brother.