[Mrs.Brown]

I have an VERY URGENT matter! I know this might not be the correct forum, however I wanted to post where people have already adopted and have been through the proccess. Does anyone have any experience with CPS (Child Protective Services) in California? I have a 15 year old biological son who is severely disabled with multiple problems such as XYY Syndrome, Tourettes Syndrome, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, ADHD, and possibly a mild form of PDD. Dispite his disorders he is very intelligent. He has made false child abuse calls against my husband and myself in the past. Other times it would be considered with the relm of normal parenting that was distorted. I.E. About two weeks ago he became violent and out of control. He is very large (6'1") for his age and I'm very petite (5'0"). Luckily (or unluckily) my husband was home. It was a situation where he actually had to hit him to get him under control. He hit him once to stop him and then took him outside of the house to let him de-escalate, calm down and get himself somewhat under control. I called his therapist and explained what happened. He said that he is mandated by the state to report the incident, but that if I call myself it will look a lot better for us. So I called CPS and reported what had happened. They went to his school and put him in the childrens shelter. Immediately the shelter noticed how he is and complained to me about his behavior (he was acting too bad for the shelter to handle). To make a long story short the shelters therapist and social workers said that they felt this was more of a "mental health" issue and NOT an "child abuse" issue. The social worker and her boss were hesitant on releasing him back to our custody not for his safety but for fear of ours (we also have two little girls...healthy, thank God!). It took a lot of talking, but I managed to convince them that we'd be safe if he came home. The worker does not want him here. I agreed to place him in a long term residential facility where he can stay until he is 18 and then go to an adult long term residential facility for the remainder of his years.
I've just found out recently that because we now have a report with CPS we will not qualify for adoption. Even though there were no charges brought against my husband. Is there anyway I can get the reports with CPS destroyed? I have fallen in love with a little boy who needs me. He is in Russia and is disabled. I'm used to dealing with disabled children so this will not be a problem for me. The nature of his disability is correctable. It would be nice to help someone who can actually be helped. But now I'm being told I can't adopt this little boy that I already love as one of my own. I already think of him as my son. He is my son in my heart. What can I do? Does anyone have any advice? This is a real emergency! Please help me get my son out of that Russian orphanage and bring him home to his family that already loves him! Where he can get the help and love he needs and deserves.
Someone, anyone.... please help!
Sincerely,
Mrs. Brown

[brandy73]

I am having trouble understanding your problem. If the child has so many difficulties, and the treatment home even said he was very difficult, I don't see where you have a problem as in the adoption of the Russian boy. For it to be child abuse in almost all cases it has to cause ER damage or at least be a mark for 24 hrs. Hitting a child in what can be argued to be self defense shouldn't count. If anything the allegation or "write up" against you should be non-founded or thrown out. Unless of course it was more of a slugging then a slapping. Then I don't think you have a chance.
Otherwise I would fight the charge. They will more than likely tell you that the appropriate action would have been to call the police. (wouldn't have been my favorite course against my kid either!) I would still argue and seek counsel. Good luck