[Stephanie4444]

Hello there, I'm a single woman adopting for the first time. I've never been through a home study and I'm really nervous.

I have a boyfirend (for about 1.5 yrs) but he doesn't live with me. We care about each other very much but are not making plans for a life together. I've wanted to adopt for awhile and feel that now is the time to begin the process. I want to do this as a single person and hav not asked him (and we're not at a place where either of us would consider) to adopt as a couple.

I'm nervous that the home study person will either bring him into the picture and have him go through the same review process with me. We're not doing this as a couple but I'm not sure how to answer questions about him. I want to be honest but I really don't want to bring him into the picture more than is necessary.

Does anyone have any experience with this? Or know the rules on this type of thing?

Thanks for your help.

[thanksgivingmom]

Hi Stephanie, Sorry I can't give you any good info on that, but I didn't want your post going unanswered!

I'm actually a firstmom, but my daughter is being raised by a single woman...I wish she were here to give you some of the answers you're looking for! There is a single parenting thread on the Adoptive Parents Forum that might have some more people checking it out.

Good luck!!!

[Slatond10]

Don't really know the answer either. However I did adopt as a single mother. I would not be nervous about the homestudy just be honest.

I did not have a boyfriend during my homestudy. However, from a friends experience w/ a step child. As long as the child was not living in the home then she did not have to be evaluated but she moved back in with them prior to the dossier being complete and the home study had to be amended w/ the step child's evaluation.

There was a requirement of a male role model "letter" in my home study. I am not sure if you would want him to act in this role or have someone else in mind? Or if it would even be required in your homestudy?

Good luck!!

[dac_cincy]

If your boyfriend does not live in your home- there is not reason that the homestudy agency should ask for an interview with him. That would akin to them asking for interviews with other close relatives- which they don't do unless the relative lives in the home the child will live.
if your boyfriend might be a daycare/babysitter option and you are considering adopting from teh foster care system- then your boyfirend would have to submit the care for a background check just as your other relatives woudl do (at least in my state).

Your social worker will ask about your relationship but that should be the extend of the questioning.

I hope this helps.

Love to you,
Deb

[mzsumthing]

Stephanie,

As a single women, I was forthcoming about being involved in a relationship. I stated my boyfriend was very supportive of my decision to adopt and we have discussed how adoption would impact our relationship and my lifestyle.

No other personal information about my boyfriend was asked. I left him completely out of the process. I found most of the personal type questions were asked about immediate family members/history, finances, medical history, etc.

Basically, my relationship was never mentioned again in subsequent interviews.

[joyful327]

HI -

I know this message is old, but I thought I'd respond anyway in case someone else reads it.

I used to be a CPS caseworker (didn't last there long) but nearly ALL of the foster and adoptive parents I had on my caseload were single. I don't think singles in this situation have anything to worry about.... Just my 2 cents

[jessnboys]

I adopted as a single parent. Because of the problems my son had, there were a lot of extra steps I had to take. My bf at the time had to pass a background check b/c he would be around my son. They asked a bunch of personal questions about our relationship, but never met him or invaded his life really. The state just wanted to make sure it was a healthy relationship.
M's adoption was completed 4 years ago last week!

Good Luck!