[OurHandprints]

So I have a friend of mine that is currently going through a divorce. I'm not really sure of the whole situation or all the problems, but I know that her and her husband would fight a LOT and are always leaving each other and spending the night out of their home, etc. So they've decided to officially end it and get the divorce. They have a son together too. He's about 3 or 4 years old.

I haven't asked her because I know she's not thinking about this now, but when do you think it's ok to start dating again? How long should she wait? When should she talk to her son about this?

[kelceesmom]

I personally think that is it can be a very specific topic as to when each thing should happen.

For me I am truely going by my child's lead and how she is progressing with the change in our household. I am not ready yet either but I will talk to her as things come up.

[Boulderbabe]

I can speak both as a single mom, and as the child of divorced parents.

As a child, my parents' dating was REALLY hard on me. They would bring somebody home and ask us, the kids, to accept that person as part of our family life. The boyfriend or the girlfriend would be around all the time. We'd get attached. But then one day, BAMMO, the boyfriend was gone or the girlfriend took off, and we never saw them again.

It was an endless cycle of loss. I still wonder what happened to some of those people. Some of them, the ones that were around for a couple years, I loved a lot as a child. Then they vanished.

I'm a single mom by choice---I'm not divorced, I adopted as a single. I was dating somebody pretty seriously when my son came. When that relationship ended just before Aaron's first birthday, I decided that he'd already lost too many parents to go through this over and over like I did. So now, I am very selective. I do not date very often. If I do, we go out and away from Aaron for the first whole bunch of dates. Only if it gets really really serious will I ever introduce somebody I'm dating to Aaron.....and right now, I don't think that's ever going to happen.

[ProspectiveSingleMom]

I am divorced, but not a parent yet. I know that, for myself, the grieving process over the divorce took over a year from the time we separated. I don't know if this is normal, though, because my relationship with my ex was very unhealthy. I did date less than a year after the separation, but not until after the divorce was finalized. That relationship went very badly partially because of my remaining issues from my divorce. Now, after another short-lived relationship, I've decided to completely put dating on the shelf at least until after I complete my adoption. After that, I will see how I feel, but I know that if I do decide to date again as a single mom, I will put my child's needs first, even if it means the relationship will have to move much more slowly than it otherwise would.