[dogncatkids]

This question is for someone considering placing their child up for adoption. I have been told by a number of individuals that a single parent is not what birthparents are looking to place their child with. I am curious as to why? I have good christian value.
If I as a single person have a great support network - why not select me?

Needless to say - if I want a young child I continue to look outside the US. Not that there is anything wrong with international adoption - I am just curious as to why single women arent chosen more often.

[Angel_Z.J.K]

Hi my name is Shonelle and I placed my son up for adoption 15months ago. I placed my son up for adoption for several reasons and one being because I didn't want him to be in a broken family. I feel a lot of young women place their babies up for adoption because they think it's right to give a baby a two parent family. Other reasons too ofcourse but I know that for me was one of the big reasons. Hope this helps a bit! Good Luck!!!

[hippiechick]

I think single people (men and women) aren't chosen as often because the birthmom figures if she can't do it on her own, the other person can't either. A lot of birth parents choose their "ideal" family, which often includes having a mom and a dad.

[ellemeth]

I seem to be the odd one here but both times I was looking at hopeful a-parent profiles, I looked through the singles, gays, and lesbians first before I went on to look at the traditional couples. The reason I ended up placing with traditional couples both times is mostly that the others didn't seem as open to post-placement contact. Some of them seemed unsure about any contact at all. Others seemed defensive about their choices. I was looking for a lot of contact, especially the second time around, so the reluctance fo post-placement contact was teh deciding factor.

Of course, that could be just me. I've already placed twice and may be in the minority because, I'm not as torn up emotionally as many people seem to be after placement. I'm more concerned with how can I make our relationship work well than with regreting my decisions.

[Tigger27]

Well, just my opinion here, but it seems logical to me that we birthmoms would choose to place our child in a home with a mother and a father since we felt we couldn't raise our child on our own.

I mean why would we place our child with a single parent when we could single parent the child ourselves if we so chose to. Just my opinion, but I placed because I felt my daughters needed a mother and a father and that I couldn't do it alone so I wouldn't have wanted to place with a single parent when I could have single parented myself.

Just my opinion, though.

[mommyoftwo]

My son's birthmom picked me to parent her child and I am single with a daughter. My agency told me that I would probably wait a while since I was single and already parenting. Well I am happy to report that wasnt the case. I was in the books for three months. It was a very happy ending. I thank God for my son's birthmom everyday.

[faith2005]

I place 5 months ago and the reason I placed was a. I could not raise 2 kids by my self and b. I wanted my son to grow up with a mother and a father ... a 2 parent home ! Not that a single mother such as your self would be a bad choice but I believe that when placing most people want some one who is married. I was even asked by a friend of the family if she could take my son but I choose not to, not because of her she is a GREAT person but because I wanted my son to have both a mother and father !!
Good luck and God bless !! I will be praying for you !!

Jess

[BethanyB]

I think that people place their children for adoption for many different reasons, and if a woman decides that she wants a two parent family than that is great. It is her personal choice. However, just because one single parent cannot afford to physically, emotionally or financially raise a child does not mean another single person cannot. I have a single friend who makes 150 thousand dollars a year. I have married friends who don't make that much put together. So just because one person cannot afford to do it or does not feel emotionally able to do it, does not mean someone else isn't able to.

I am a single parent and LOVE it. I'm having a great time and I don't think it's that hard at all. Many of my married friends who have kids think I'm nuts! I know that I will get married someday but I think I'm a great parent now. I'm a teacher. I volunteer with children. I teach Sunday School, and I just love being around kids.

There may be some woman out there who are already single parents but just can't do one more child. But maybe they know how wonderful a single parent can be because they are a single parent and their mother was one and so on. I think it is just a personal choice. And there are plenty of single people out there adopting, so there must be people out there who think we can do a good job!

[meteor917]

i have no moral quams against single parents and do not know why someone would.....though in the state that i live in single parent sdoption is not legal and that makes me sad because it really slimms my prospective parents down, i am sure that there are many single parnets that would do just a good as job raising a child as married couples if not better

[missingmyboy]

Like others have already said, I personally wanted my child to have a mother and a father. I am a single parent to a now 16 yr old son whom I have raised on my own from day one. I had him when I was in grade 11 and already living on my own. A yr ago I placed my second son for adoption. Part of why I chose adoption is because his bdad was adament that he would not be a part of his life. I already have one son who suffers the pain of having a father who only "plays father" when he feels like it but isn't there when he is really needed and has went long periods of time with no contact with our son out of his own choice. That is painful for a child. I didn't want my second son to experience that kind of pain too. Of course that is not the only reason I chose adoption. I could have raised him on my own but there was so much more that I wanted for him. For me, if I was going to chose adoption then I might as well find what I believe to be the most ideal family for my son. To me, that meant that he would have a mother and a father who cherish him and will always be there for him.

Shell

[Montraviatommyg]

Originally Posted by dogncatkids

This question is for someone considering placing their child up for adoption. I have been told by a number of individuals that a single parent is not what birthparents are looking to place their child with. I am curious as to why? I have good christian value.
If I as a single person have a great support network - why not select me?

Needless to say - if I want a young child I continue to look outside the US. Not that there is anything wrong with international adoption - I am just curious as to why single women arent chosen more often.

When my bson was adopted it was generally accepted that he would be adopted by a couple as that was the accepted thing to do. I would like to add at this point that I was pressured into having him adopted even though I had a secure job so could have supported him financially as well as emotionally.

It is only over the years that I've really thought about this issue of single parenting either by having a bio-child or adopting a child. Personally I have the attitude that as long as a person can give a child a good, loving upbringing that is the most important thing in life.

Hope all goes well.

Montravia