[nawlinsmom]

Okay, I know this might be a touchy subject but the more and more I talk to people it seems to be a norm. So, I thought I would ask the question here. Do you have your child, (children) sleep with you? If you do how old are they? and if they no longer do, how did you transistion them into their own bed and at what age. My 22 month old does sleep with me, it works out so much better for me. (I know that sounds selfish) but as all of us know without those extra pair of hands in the house 6am comes mightly early and with my son still waking up 3 to 4 times a night it is just easier. I try to start him off in his bed but by 11pm or so he is awake and in mine for the night. Any thoughts or comments?

[numbr1dbcksfan]

When she was a newborn if I had to feed her in the middle of the night I would sometimes leave her in bed with me....but usually would put her in her crib once she fell asleep. She used to sometimes crawl into be with me in the middle of the night....but never for a long amount of time....

I would never have been able to sleep with an extra kid in my bed! LOL

[Cheryl62]

I'm not sure I would necessary recommend what I did with EITHER set of two little ones, but for what it's worth...

My two older daughters, from my first marriage, slept beside my bed in a cradle when tiny infants, though when they woke during the night I'd leave them in bed with me, after nursing, for the rest of the night. By the time they were 4-5 months old, I insisted they sleep in their own rooms. DH didn't like them there, and he had so many Vietnam-related dreams with thrashing around, it wasn't entirely safe. They hated it, particularly the older one. It was no fun.

My two younger ones still sleep with either me and DH, or with our Thai babysitter. One night the boy is with us, next night the girl. They just hate their bedroom and sleeping alone. Actually I was a big fan of the family bed approach until the last couple of years. They were more secure, more bonded, and more self-confident little people than I think they would have been otherwise (of course they're different little people too, so hard to separate these factors).

Problem is, now they're 6 and 7, and still don't want to sleep in their beds. Of course, that we live in a country with security guards and a dog patrolling our compound at night maybe doesn't help... Nor did having their bedroom door stick once a year ago or so, and have them unable to get out when one woke at 3 am and wanted me. Since then, no way, not happening!

I finally have started breaking them of this, by telling them they cannot go on sleepovers, or have anyone here, until they are comfortable sleeping in their room. So far (fingers crossed!) it's working.

In all honesty, I think I should have started this sooner. But, it never seemed the best time - DH and I used to travel a lot (separately) and they just seemed to need the snuggly time. So, I see huge upsides on the family bed, but lots of problems with when/how to transition out of it. Of course, we're a little too tolerant on this particular issue, because with older kids going to college starting this fall, we realize how quickly they grow, and how soon they won't really want the mommy and daddy snuggles...

You have to do what feels right - and what you and your spouse can both agree on, since it affects you both!