[nancynic]

Parents exercise considerable influence over their children, but they are not unaffected by interactions with children. Infants provide cues such as crying and reinforce parental responses by smiling. They initiate social encounters and may exert greater influence on their caretakers than the other way around. Who else can get adults to change their entire pattern of activity and sleep?

It is very important for parents to be responsive to children rather than reactive to their cues and behaviors. Anticipating and avoiding opportunities for misbehavior is a more effective discipline strategy than reacting to misbehavior.

Studies have shown that parents who accomodate their style of discipline to the child's behavior and temperament in a responsive way makes parenting less difficult. Being kind and firm is a good choice when dealing with children.

What are ways you have noticed your children raising you?
This starts in infancy and continues throughout the stages of childhood through adolescence!

[jodyk]

My foster son has completely changed my life. Before I had him, I'd go where I wanted, when I wanted to -- or stayed home if I didn't feel like going out. I napped, went to bed when I wanted to, shopped after work, took my time shopping. And it was BORING!!!

He's forced me to be at least a little organized, and to think about things like dinner before we get home; I can't spend an hour in preparation after getting home, 'cause he has to get to bed! And, before planning the day, I have to take into account his mood. If he's amenable, then a day of errands & shopping is fine. But if he's cranky, it's no good for either of us.

He's taught me it's okay to be silly when you're grown up. Laughing is healthy and fun! We sing silly songs and little chants.

He's taught me to be less selfish -- my needs aren't nearly as important as his, because he can't do things for himself. If he doesn't get what he needs, then I can't get what I want.

He's taught me not to take things too seriously, and that if something's not done now, well, it can be done later -- or maybe it doesn't need doing at all.

He's taught me flexibility. If what I'd planned doesn't seem to work out, I can switch gears & do something different. If I need him to do something he doesn't want to do, I've learned to go at it from a different angle so it's fun -- or at least not a trial -- for him.

He's taught me patience. Yes, it's easier and faster for me to dress him. But it doesn't teach him anything or allow him to express his independence. So sometimes his clothes don't match. And it takes longer to get ready to leave. But there's no greater satisfaction for him or me as when he accomplishes something and can proudly proclaim :"I did it!"

[nancynic]

Oh Jody!

What a wonderful response!
I felt so moved reading it.
Thank you ~

NancyNic