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I have a friend that is a single female, she has been trying to adopt a child for about a year now. The state has finally approved her for adoption. Tonight she called me upset. She said that the case worker had contacted her and told her that her file has been in the system for one month, but there have been no matches for her. The case worker, in not so many words hinted that her lifestyle, being lesbian, might be a problem. My friend inquired if anyone with this type of lifestyle had ever been granted a child. The caseworker stated yes, but that it was a male. No female had ever been approved.

She can also not pursue this issue any further, because of her job position would be jepordized if this information of her lifestyle gets out.

Is there anything that she might be able to do? The case worker gave my friend the # of the supervisor that has her file, and also the # to an advocacy agency, but as I said my friend can not pursue it.

Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter. My friend is truely upset about this situation. She is unable to physically have children of her own and truely wishes to be a mother.

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Your friend might want to consider adopting internationally. There are also 2 great books to help singles adopting:
Adopting On Your Own and Handbook for Single Adoptive Parents.
http://www.adopting.org/ar.html has links to these books.

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Originally Posted By Becky Folker

Hi...I also believe your friend should look into international adoption. There are several good books that could help her get started. It is a challenging time for her that lies ahead. I adopted from China and have two beautiful girls. I am not gay, but I know there are several that have adopted from China who have been. However, it is something that is kept quiet and not discussed. Now, China is asking for statements from singles saying they are not homosexual, etc. etc. This has upset many singles, to the point of them choosing another country, of which there aren't too many that allow singles.....but there are a few more!
My question to your friend is that the important thing is that she wants to be a mother..and these children need homes. Have her explore all her options for international adoption and then make some decisions on how she would apply.
If she would like to e-mail me privately, please feel free to give her folkergirls@torchlake.com and I would be happy to talk more to her. I hope she doesn't give up, but she is definitely going to have to do more research on the requirements for the countries..it is their right to determine the pre-requisites.