[Archive]

Originally Posted By Scott Baker

I'm a 36 year male interested in adopting a girl in the 7-10 age range. I am being told by the Dept. of Children and Families (FL) that no law or rule exists denying a Man to adopt a girl...but no counselor will approve such an arrangement. Is it possible for me to adopt a girl?

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Cindy

Nothing is impossible, Scott, but how long are you willing to wait, especially in light of what your DSS is telling you, right up front? Even if they conduct your homestudy and give you a glowing recommendation, reality is that your request is likely to be given a very low priority.
Do you know about the adoptive single parent mailing list?
SINGLE-APARENT <SINGLE-APARENT@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU
There are many single men on this list with whom you could chat and share their experience, strength and hope. Good luck! Those who truly want to adopt eventually succeed!
Cindy

[trunks888]

I to am a single male wishing to adopt a girl but i want to adopt a toddler my self.
So please let me know any info you may find.
my e mail addy is trunks888@computermail.net

Thanks

[dap]

Is there some reason you feel better equipped to parent a girl? As an adoption worker, a male who was interested only in adopting a girl would certainly raise red flags. I think caution is justified and it would be up to you to present your case.

[trunks888]

Well,
I cant say for the starter of this post.
But my self I do have reason I would rather adopt a girl then a
boy.
I'm open to a boy but I feel a boy would be best.

Due to i'm disabled and not able to do all the sports and things
that are more common with boys.
Now girls do get into them I know this but it's not as offten.
If I did adopt one and it got into sports I would do my best
to be supportive and go along with it.

Also A big reason for me
is My mom wants a grandaughter very bad.

She planed on having another child or maby adopting after me
And was hopping to try and have alittle girl.
But once I was born with alot of problems she
Stopped with that due to she had to take care of me.

So in a way I feel I would be giving back to her.

Also I have had more experance with girls then boys.

SO those are my reason there
and I feel they are understandable.

But It should be noted I'm open to a child
no matter if it's a girl or a boy.
But I'm trying to look out for the best intrest of the child to.

Thanks bye!.

[Chris3]

Originally posted by dap
Is there some reason you feel better equipped to parent a girl? As an adoption worker, a male who was interested only in adopting a girl would certainly raise red flags. I think caution is justified and it would be up to you to present your case.

Raise red flags? I certainly know that there are some sick people out there, but why should that small percent of men prevent a good man who wishes to raise a daughter from doing so? I completely agree with thourough checks. not only on single men, but everyone who wishes to adopt. Singling out a specific group of hopeful adoptive parents for extra scruitiny that is well beyond what the others get is just plain wrong. I'd like to see everyone scruitinized at that level.

As a single man who will one day adopt, I cannot help but be worried that if I state my wish for a Daughter it will be greeted by raised eyebrows and red flags. It is a sad situation when a good man such as myself and the other men who have posted here are looked upon immediatly as bad people simply because our preference is to raise daughters. Most of us, I would imagine are open to sons as well, but do resent the implications that are made, directly or indirectly when we say we'd really rather have daughters. Are single women wanting sons treated with such scrutiny?

[Neicey]

I do know that my Agency has helped Single Men adopt both Girls and Boys! Good luck.... there are so great Agencys!

[kidfinder]

First of all, you are dealing with perhaps the most conservative state in the county with respect to adoption law and attitude. It is in fact the only state in the county that prohibits gay adoption, and I'm not surprised to hear that the attitude delves into gender sterotyping as well.

If there is no law prohibiting it, then find a private agency that will be you advocate!

[Neicey]

I actually am very dis-enchanted with adopting from UKRAINE! I am finding out that if you have the money, you can push others out of the way and move right ahead of them! I thought adopting was a Humanitarine thing, not all about the money! So if you have the $ you can get that girl... I know my agency is charging 50,000.00 for single males to adopt.... so don't say it can't be done.... your homestudy will cover any red flags!

[bignells]

This post is in response to the previous post from Neicey.

This person is currently bitter towards adopting from Ukraine. Her appointment in Ukraine was cancelled - not because of money issues but because she omitted information from her home study that would have prevented her from adopting from Ukraine. If you are interested in additional information feel free to contact me at Michelle@hearttoheartukraine.org.
Michelle

[dadfor2]

hi,
actually, when my wife and i started to talk about adoption, she wanted a boy and i wanted a little girl. As time went on, We ended up with two boys. Its amazing how you never know how this is going to work out.

We feel in love with these little guys.

I can understand why it might be diffulcult for you to adopt a girl from the state that your in. I do agree with one of the posters, they dont even let gay/lesbians adopt i cant imagine how they look at single guys wanting a girl.

Regarding your disability, not sure what it is, but sometimes pending on how severe it is, that might come into question also.

I really have no suggestions for you, i think due to the state your in, you might have to wait, but keep making your phonecalls, and do what you have to do. Plus, you mentioned a 7-10 yr old, sometimes the children might say they want a 'mommy ' so you also have to realize that the older the child is, they have a wright to say who they want to be adopted by also.

dadfor2

[jmelliott133]

Scott,
I really hope you do well in your quest for adopting a girl. I, myself am looking forward to adopting a girl when the time is right. And I too have my reasons for preferring a girl over a boy. First of all, preference. I’ve had allot more experience with girls in the past 13 years. Depending on the age of the child, and how they’ve been raised or treated up until the adoption placement, I believe that girls are easier to handle. Now don’t get me wrong, I know that girls can be rough, too. But I still believe that girls are easier to handle.
I also want the bonding that is more commonly shown in girls. I love to show affection, not only verbally, but through hugs, kisses and pats on the back. I love when I’m visiting w/friends and there oldest of 3 girls comes to me at bedtime wanting me to read a story to her and her sisters.
As much as I would love to help my daughter through any of her questions or tough times, I know that there is going to be times where she’s going to need guidance from a grown female.
I’m not gay in any way whatsoever, and I know that issues are going to arise regarding my sexuality. But I’ve wanted a child since I was 14; I’ve wanted that child to be a girl since I was 17. Now I’m about to turn 26, I have an informational meeting with the Department of Social Services on the 26th of this month and I hope to get the ball rolling soon.
I’ve been asked, “Why don’t you wait and find a wife and have a child of your own?” As I said before, I’m not gay in any way. But dating isn’t on my priority list. If I find someone for me, that’s great. If I don’t, that’s great, too. I would love to raise a child in a home with a loving mother as well, but I’ve also got to admit that I’m scared to death of loosing a child due to relationship problems.
I’ve also been asked, “What are you going to do with your child if you find a girl that doesn’t get along with your child?” Well, that ones easy. I’ve made the decision to adopt a little girl, every decision I make, from the time my daughter is placed in my home is going to affect her. MY DAUGHTER COMES FIRST!!!
I want to thank each and every one who takes the time to read this post. Please feel free to reply and be honest. I’ve already been ridiculed, rejected and labeled. Nothing you say to me could be any worse.