[ocracoke]

Originally Posted by HeidiK

It can be hard at times, but I can admit - I rather like being the queen of the castle. I have always said I miss having a husband twice a year - once when I hangthe holiday lights and then when I take them down. And now I know you can pay someone to do that too.

You are queen of your castle??? How did you manage that? My daughter is pretty sure that she is princess, queen, professor, boss, and goddess of my castle. She just lets me pay the bills.

Samantha

[parenting-over-40]

Originally Posted by ocracoke

You are queen of your castle??? How did you manage that? My daughter is pretty sure that she is princess, queen, professor, boss, and goddess of my castle. She just lets me pay the bills.

Samantha

Sounds like my house! I actually refer to my daughter as "The Queen". I know who is in charge.

[DannieAS]

I can't wait to be a mom. I'm not sure what I will gauge being a single mom to though....I've never been married...not that I"m opposed, I'm just a person that is always (well to a healthy point...sometimes I have my moments lol) content with my life so I'd love to be married and I'm ok with being single and not being married....

so I guess being used to doing everything for myself or having my dad do the major things (like hanging up Christmas lights )....since my parents live a mile away from my house ha ha, makes for interesting days.....so I'm hoping I'll adjust to parenting as yet another thing that I'm used to doing on my own.


On a weird note, I have a friend and we were talking and she was raised by a single mom, who then got married and had another child....my friend's mom said that it was easier to raise a child as a single parent because that's what she did first, then with her second child which was way down the line...she really struggled adjusting to co-parenting with her husband because his thought pattern of raising children was very different than hers.

Oh well, I guess we equate experiences with how we have lived our lives.

I like this thread.....let's keep at it when we have time.

[millie58]

DannieAS, we want to hear all about your experiences as a mom!! I will say this: my house is clean once a month when my sister cleans it (she loves doing it; go figure)! My downtime is about an hour before I go to bed at night. but I love it!!! And my kids (4 boys) are doing so much better!! Getting better grades, behavior is down for the 2 oldest (the dean had me on speed dial)! You'll love it.

About co-parenting: that is a really valid point. However, I do know there are things a man/dad can do that I can't. Not sure if I could co-parent at this time; I've been doing it alone the whole time!! I have control issues that I'm working on!!!

[DannieAS]

Millie trust me, I will be HAPPY to share when it happens...yeah my mom has told me that she has dubbed two sunday mornings a month as "grandma, grandpa time" so I can clean my house.....LOL

That sounds great in theory...we'll see how it plays out in real life. My mom is a clean freak and when I bought my house she decided that she was "doing" my garage. I have the most immaculate, painted, and clean garage ever invented....so much so that my cw for the homestudy's jaw dropped and even included in her report "She has an immaculate garage" during the description of my home. I think growing up, my mom's motto was not "cleanliness is next to Godliness" I think it was "cleanliness comes way before Godliness" LOL

Gotta love families. I am happy though that I will have my father as a positive male role model around...I'm not that dense to know that these small things will matter in some way, shape, or form.

well girls....have a good afternoon, my lunchtime is over...I have meetings all afternoon

[SavannahGirl]

Hi Everyone. Another single mom here. I have a dd who will be five years old soon. She was adopted domestically as an infant through a private agency. I'm still hoping to add a least one more daughter to my family. I've been in process to adopt from foster care for a while without much success. Good to hear all of your stories on how you make single motherhood work.

[heathcliff]

Single Mom to 3 dds 4, 6, and 12, all international adoptions, 4 year old came home first, then 6 year old, then 12 year old. So far so good but very busy since we also have 1 chinchilla, 2 dogs, 3 cats, and 16 chickens. Fresh eggs daily...can't beat it!!! I also work fulltime as a science teacher in our city's junior high. My life is busy, but certainly VERY enjoyable.

Aves

[DannieAS]

Originally Posted by heathcliff

Single Mom to 3 dds 4, 6, and 12, all international adoptions, 4 year old came home first, then 6 year old, then 12 year old. So far so good but very busy since we also have 1 chinchilla, 2 dogs, 3 cats, and 16 chickens. Fresh eggs daily...can't beat it!!! I also work fulltime as a science teacher in our city's junior high. My life is busy, but certainly VERY enjoyable.

Aves

that's awesome. Don't know how you manage with more than one pet. My chihuahua is the queen of the home and has a better wardrobe then me so I think she will be a "one and only dog"

My ultimate hope is to be a mama to at least two children....welcome....this thread gets posts on and off when the single moms get a break LOL

[willow26]

I am a single mom of a teen hoping to adopt from foster care but its been several years and no luck. I hardly get any foster placements and as far as adoptive placements, I never get "selected" (maybe due to single status?). I am thinking of going international, like Mexico or Jamaica but I don't really have the $$$. Wish I knew what to do to make this happen!!

[HeidiK]

Welcome Willow - single mom via domestic adoption x2. Maybe you need to ask you social worker to tell you what you can do to "improve" your standing. Are you seeking an infant?

[irelady10]

I'm a single mom to my almost 2 year old son. He came to me at 10 days old as a fost/adopt placement. We became a forever family when he was 17 month old.

Being a single mom is the most rewarding experience of my life! There are definitely things that I worry about, but every parent worries about their child. My worries are just unique to being a single parent to an African Amercian little boy.

My home is open again, as of a few weeks ago, and I'm anxiously awaiting the placement of baby/toddler #2!

[millie58]

2 and 3 year olds!!! ha ha ha ha ha!! Wait till they get to be teenagers!!! It will be a whole different universe!!

Originally Posted by HeidiK

I have two guys with very little family support - My mom lived with me for 3yrs but moved to Florida 6 months ago - That was hard but it needed to happen. AND I was matched with my 1st son at 40. I went back to working night shift and have a great babysitter. Its hard and today was espically tough. I would rather be in a room with 10 2 yr olds instead of one 3 1/2 yr old. Its a hard age...

That said - wouldn't change a thing...

Just wondering how many of the single moms are also raising kids of color - both of my boys are AA

[MadiMom]

Originally Posted by HeidiK

I have two guys with very little family support - My mom lived with me for 3yrs but moved to Florida 6 months ago - That was hard but it needed to happen. AND I was matched with my 1st son at 40. I went back to working night shift and have a great babysitter. Its hard and today was espically tough. I would rather be in a room with 10 2 yr olds instead of one 3 1/2 yr old. Its a hard age...

That said - wouldn't change a thing...

Just wondering how many of the single moms are also raising kids of color - both of my boys are AA

I am raising a 3 yr old Hispanic girl!!! She keeps me on my toes.

[millie58]

willow26: maybe kids aren't being placed as much. You may want to try another agency. I had no problems getting calls and I'm single.

Originally Posted by willow26

I am a single mom of a teen hoping to adopt from foster care but its been several years and no luck. I hardly get any foster placements and as far as adoptive placements, I never get "selected" (maybe due to single status?). I am thinking of going international, like Mexico or Jamaica but I don't really have the $$$. Wish I knew what to do to make this happen!!

[willow26]

thanks millie, I have already tried that. that's why I am thinking of trying a different route. some people at this site have advised pursuing IA and FC at the same time; that route actually sounds really good to me (if I decide I can trust this int'l agency).