[marista99]

Hi,
I'm 24, almost 25, a teacher and have just started considering adopting as a single woman. I am wondering if anyone else out there is in the same boat as me? People keep telling me I am crazy, that I should try to find a man first, or that I should try to have a birth child before I consider adoption, but to me I don't see it as my last choice at all.

Am I the only one? I sure hope not. :-)

Marianne

[AnaMaria88]

Whatever it is in your heart that is encouraging you to go ahead and adopt listen to it. I plan on adopting early. I am starting with my 8 year old sister and then I want to try being a foster mother. Make sure you are finacially stable and ready for a child but other than that let your heart lead you. There are children out there that need you.

[Lookingtobeadaddy]

I am actually meeting with a SW today at Catholic Charaties. I am also 24 looking to adopt a Special Needs boy about 3-6y/o. So I will let you know how it went and what info you should know.

John.

[ocracoke]

You are not crazy at all. I know a woman who adopted her first child at age 21 and then had a baby recently -- both as a single. While I am single I am not in my 20's. I first started thinking about and planning my adoption when I was in my 20's and adoption was my first choice. I had no desire to give birth. But I gave into pressure and tired to get pregnant. Turns out that I can't so I moved on to adoption. I am so glad that I adopted instead of giving birth -- my daughter is the perfect fit for me.

Samantha

[HongKongMomma2B]

I am 23 and have decided I am adopting from Hong Kong when I am 25-26 (I have to wait until I'm 25 anyway b/c of age requirements)...so...no, you aren't the only one out there. What I'm doing while I wait is save/raise as much of the money I will need beforehand so I won't have too much (hopefully) to worry about, money-wise, when the time comes.

Good luck! And no, you aren't crazy at all.

[DRCSGRANT]

Im am 26 years old, single and I just bought my first home. I am DYING to adopt a child but unfortunately don't have the savings (due to my house purchase) to pay the expenses for an infant adoption. I am interested in adopting an infant and raising him/her with or without a husband and I am ready to do it now. .. I understand completely what you feel-- I feel ready and now I have to home to accomodate my dreams of being a mother...My mom thinks I am crazy too and that it will ruin my chances of finding a husband but I know what I feel in my heart and I plan on following it and anyone who doesn't understand it is their problem...Good luck

[JewelMarie]

Marianne, I adopted my daughter two years ago; I was 31. She was 9 years old when she came home. I am a perfect fit for her. We are now in the process of adopting another girl. I am a single parent.

Many people told me I was crazy to give up my single life. I always told them, "what is life if you are single and not making a difference in someone else's life?" I want to make a difference so I adopted.

I also have problems and only have a 10percent chance of every being able to be pregnant.

I love making a difference for kids; that can happen through adoption so that is what you are doing.

JEwel

[FAITHfarms]

I am 21 and single and about to start my classesto foster/adopt. I also happen to be a teacher of children with special needs. I have always wanted to foster/adopt and I feel in my heart that God is calling me to do this now. If I am following the will of my Lord then He will get me through.

[Meralee]

Marista,
I'm in a very similar situation as you. I'm 26 (27 in a month) and single. I would love to be a mother, but there are two problems...I don't have any husband or even boyfriend prospects in sight and I honestly have no desire to go through child birth.

I do not teach, as several others have posted on here, but I do coach youth soccer (6 and 7 year olds) and I have a neice, nephews, and cousins who I've been around almost constantly for 14 years.

I bought a home of my own a year and a half ago and I'm a responsible and mature person. I have a stable job that pays well (I'm currently not putting much into savings, but that's because I'm paying $200 a month extra on my car and house payments trying to reduce the lengths of the loans.

I am looking to adopt a child age 2-7. I prefer a girl, but I'm open to a boy. I have experience with children with ADD/ADHD (mild-nephew #3, moderate- cousin #2, and severe- nephew #1), so that would not be a deterrant. Also, in highschool I babysat a little girl who was deaf and in college, I took sign language classes, so I would be open to a deaf child as well.

I have no dout that most of my family would be extremely supportive of my decision to adopt. The only two people that I think would say anything would be my dad (can be old-fashioned) and my grandmother (can be VERY judgmental). I have a close-knit family who all live nearby. Also, my sister-in-law and brother live in the same school district as I do and she (SIL) is willing to baby sit for me either all day if my child is not school aged or morning/afternoon if my child is of school age. My child would be able to ride the bus to and from school to his/her aunt's house with cousins.

WOW! that got long...sorry!

[marista99]

Meralee,
Your grandmother might surprise you. I expected mine to think single parenthood by choice was a terrible idea, but when I told her she said something to the effect that it's so nice that women are able to raise kids on their own nowadays! Plus she was very excited about having a great grandchild since it would be her first one.

From what I've heard, most family and friends who initially disapprove come around when you get your referral or bring your child home, because now it's a real kid, not just an idea. Family is more difficult but with my friends, if they didn't approve, I would just stop hanging out with them, because I don't need friends who won't support such a big decision.

Best of luck and keep us posted!
:-)
Marianne

[advocateteacher]

I've known my whole life I was going to adopt, even if I didn't understand it. I remember saying in 4th grade that I wanted to have two children but I never wanted to "have any". My teacher told me that wasn't possible.

In high school I told everyone I wanted to be a mom but isn't there a way to have a baby but skip the painful birth part?

I've never dated a man who has wanted biological children, but several expressed a desire to adopt for various reasons, including population and children who already needed homes.

I toyed with the idea of being childfree in college but after thinking about it for any amount of time I would feel very sad. I began telling everyone I was going to live in a rural area with my two adopted children and some cats, dogs and a garden. The thought kept me focussed on larger things.

Over the past 4 years I have been researching programs, countries, parenting philosophies and trying to get all my ducks in a row. Unfortunately I am in grad school and may not have enough savings or my undergrad loan might be too high, to be considered. I won't be done with my degrees for another 5 years.

Sadly I am thinking I might have to wait those five years but it's very sad to think about. Every day it seems the call to adopt is getting stronger. I have told my family of my plans, I find information on Latin America in random ways, people try to speak to me in Spanish and I find I am still able. Many small things keep reminding me.

Most of my friends and family have young children and it would be fantastic to raise them together. But if not, I know there will be a lot of good information and support and advice there.

So I am happy to see there are others here. Most recently I have been wondering how difficult it will be to date as a single parent, not finding people who are willing to date me, but those whom I would trust enough to let into my life an the life of this child.

Jen

[tinatyme]

I am a single foster/adoptive mom. I just finalized the adoption of my daughter from foster care. She has been with me since she was 5 weeks old. Additionally I have had 5 other placements of infants. When I became certified I was 27 years old and some of my family members thought I was crazy. As they have come to know my Lanie however and watched me parent her they have wondered why I didn't have children sooner.

It has been the best choice I have ever made. As a result my mother became a foster/adoptive parent as well and is currently in the process of finalizing the adoption of my fs J. You will change your life through adoption and the life of a child but you may also affect other people's lives. You could give them the courage to look into new possibilities!

[makarios79]

Hi Marianne,

I just turned 27 and I am single.... I just finished my foster care/adoption classes and should be licensed and placed in the next few months....Also hoping to at least start the Haitian adoption process (If I can get a presidential pardon due to my age) next year also.


I have been talking seriously about adoption since like 19/20 y/o. but I have known that I would adopt since I was 8 yrs old and I am finally at a point in my life in which I am financially and emotionally stable enough to do so.

People tell me the same thing, about being married and having birthchild....but since I don't believe in premarital sex and seeing that I won't be getting married anytime soon, (Haven't had a boyfirend in almost 11 yrs) I am not waiting for this magical man who may never come along to be a mommy.

And even if I was married I would still want to adopt and would not marry a man who did not share the same vision..don't get me wrong I will probably have a birth child should I ever get married, but to me adoption is my first choice..not my last....I know that may sound strange but that is just how I feel...

Originally Posted by marista99

Hi,
I'm 24, almost 25, a teacher and have just started considering adopting as a single woman. I am wondering if anyone else out there is in the same boat as me? People keep telling me I am crazy, that I should try to find a man first, or that I should try to have a birth child before I consider adoption, but to me I don't see it as my last choice at all.

Am I the only one? I sure hope not. :-)

Marianne

[Synesthesia]

I'm 28 and recently I got bitten by a strange urge to adopt children. Not sure why. I think it's because I read a book about all of these girls from China, so I want to adopt one from there and from other places, like right in the US.
The thing is I'm not 30 yet. I don't have a house or enough savings and I do not have a boyfriend.
But, the urge to adopt is so strong I might just do it whether I have a husband or not, but China has made the rules stricter when it comes to single adoptions, but a lot can happen in 2 years.
For some reason, I want to adopt right now!

[makarios79]

Synesthesia,
Have you ever thought about adopting from another country until China becomes and option for you?

I don't have a house either... I live in apt...and I started the foster to adopt process an should be fully licensed no later than March.

I also do not have a large savings, but I am not letting that stop me. I also plan to start the process to adopt from Haiti, sometime next year as well. Right now they are enforcing the 1974 adoption laws , which I don't qualify under, but they are expected to ease up sometime later next year....but since I want to be a mommy now, so I decided to become a licensed foster parent...

I plan to do back to back adoptions from FC and then from haiti.

Yeah, I could be a whole lot better off financially, but I know plently of people who make way less money than I do and have way more bills than I do, who are adopting or having kids and if they can do it, I know I can.

I also do not have a boyfriend or husband.. and don't see myself having one in the near future, but I am not letting that stop me either

Originally Posted by Synesthesia

I'm 28 and recently I got bitten by a strange urge to adopt children. Not sure why. I think it's because I read a book about all of these girls from China, so I want to adopt one from there and from other places, like right in the US.
The thing is I'm not 30 yet. I don't have a house or enough savings and I do not have a boyfriend.
But, the urge to adopt is so strong I might just do it whether I have a husband or not, but China has made the rules stricter when it comes to single adoptions, but a lot can happen in 2 years.
For some reason, I want to adopt right now!