[Lookingtobeadaddy]

I finally made the decision to start the adoption prosess today. I contacted my local Catholic Charities to start the process. I am very excited about getting started with this. I am a single 24y/o white male looking to adopt a 3-5y/o boy. I know there will be all of teh standard questions, but what should I expect when I start getting "deep" into the adoption process. I do realize that it can take quite a bit of time, and I am willing to be patient. It time good things do come for those who are willing to wait. What I am looking for is some advice in general so I am educated somewhat on what I should know. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

John

[EmmaLeigh2882]

Congrats! Its a long road but you will be glad you chose to take it!

We are adopting with our local CPS- so I cannot say if everything is done the same or not- but I did want to say the impression I got about one person in our class.

He was a single man in his 30s?
I got the impression that everyone else was wondering WHY he would choose to adopt...

I do not know if he felt the prejudiced- but I did.

So, if it were me, I would have a clear list ready in-case people ask you why would a young, single male want to adopt a child?

I think the way (tone, not just the words) in which you answer the question might help you get through the processes a little easier.

Just my 2 cents !

Good luck!
H

[Lookingtobeadaddy]

Thank you for your input; I will definitely get started on this. I did a little research at Barens and Noble Bookstore last night and did not see too many books on single parent adoptions (there was one specific book in relevance to this topic). The conclusion I came to was that it is definitely possible and can be done with a little red tape. So once again, thank you for your input.

J.

[EmmaLeigh2882]

Anything can be done- "where there is a will to do it, there is a way to get it done".

I would have a good come back and detailed plan( maybe written) ...

I was assume that they will mentally hold you to a higher standard then a two parent home- after all they may think: who is going to watch your child(ren) while you work?

Are you financially stable? ( since you are about my age its understandable that you would just be starting out in the world and having a sound savings plan is a good idea because currently there isn't a spouse to offset a job loss or emergency expense. I Am very fortunate I am married to someone a great deal older then I am who is very established- I kinda skated in on his pass!)

Parenting is parenting- if there are two people it can either be easier or harder ( two personalities and ideas on how to get it done) but there is also someone to take over and help out.

Also you might want to have a good answer for the usual question- why not wait and get married first?

I personally think anyone who is qualified to -should be allowed to adopt. I honestly got the impression from my training that agency would actually take a two parent home over a one- regardless of the abilities- and I think they would have preferred a single female to a male- I don't know why though. ( maybe the WRONG idea of sexual predators being male?)

[ocracoke]

Originally Posted by Lookingtobeadaddy

Thank you for your input; I will definitely get started on this. I did a little research at Barens and Noble Bookstore last night and did not see too many books on single parent adoptions (there was one specific book in relevance to this topic). The conclusion I came to was that it is definitely possible and can be done with a little red tape. So once again, thank you for your input.

J.

Are you kidding me??? There are a ton of books on single parenting and single parent adoptions. Granted most of them probably have a slant of being more toward women then men but they are out there. I have an ever growign library at home. When I get home tonight (after the munchkin is in bed) I will go through my books and post the titles and authors of books that I have. I will not make any judgment as to whether they were helpful since it has been a while since I have read them. I even think I got most of them at Barnes and Noble so maybe they would be able to order them for you if they are still in print. I will write more later tonight.

Samantha

[hotspice58]

I'm a single woman; AA; 47 (42 when I started fostering). Just have your ducks in a row. Who will watch your child while you're at work? If you have family member close by, that can be a tremendous asset. How flexible is your job? I fost/adopted through Social Services. The different with them and other agencies is they can't deny someone a license because of sexual orientation, marital status, etc. Something to think about: if Catholic Charities gives you a hard time because you're not married, you may want to go the way of DSS/CPS.

Good luck!!

[ocracoke]

Okay so when I arrived home I realized that I was a little delusional. I have a ton of books on adoption but apparently they are not all about single parent adoption. Anyway, here is the list of books that I still have.

The Things I Want Most by Richard F. Miniter
Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson
The Complete Adoption book: Everything You Need to Know to Adopt a Child by Laura Beauvais-Godwin & Raymond Godwin
Wanting a Child by Jil Bialosky & Helen Schulman
Single Mothers by Choice by Jane Mattes
The Complete Single Mother by Andrea Engber and Leah Klungness
The Parenthood Decision by Beverly Engel
The Unofficial Guide to Adopting a Child by Andrea DellaVecchio
Inside Transracial Adoption by Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption by Chris Adamec
Adopting on Your Own: The Complete Guide to Adopting as a Single Parent by Lee Varon

Those are the ones in my personal library. Some may not be what you are looking for. Best of luck in your journey.

Samantha

[Lookingtobeadaddy]

Thank you everyone for the information, it is very appreciated. Samantha I will definitly look into some of those books; I have already read some of them, but will look for a few others I have not read yet. And Emma I will definitly write all of my thoughts down. I do have the advantage of having 90% of my family here localy, so that will be a bonus.
My telephone call was returned yesterday by Catholic Charaties and I have an appointment on Monday at 1:00PM with them to start the process. So I will know more on Monday. I am hoping for the BEST!!!!!

John

[EmmaLeigh2882]

Good luck! Stick by your guns- its sad that good people have to prove themselves so much harder because of other people's mental blocks...

[Lookingtobeadaddy]

Thanks a million! I am going to stict to them hard

[queenjane]

I just wanted to add that some social workers will actually be looking for a single dad for some of their boys...as a single mom there were kids i couldnt inquire on because the profile stated that they were either looking for a 2 parent home, or just a single dad. So you might want to stress that part...that you are a great male role model for a child.

Katherine

[Lookingtobeadaddy]

Katherine,

Do you happen to know of any agencies that are looking for a single dad for a boy. I have a meeting on Monday 6NOV06 with Catholic Charaties. Hopefully they will open some doors for me. There is a boy that I am interested in, he resides in Arizona and his name is Egan. I will ask Monday and see what they say.

John

[volkswitt]

i am a single dad with 4 kids my 2 oldest were my step sons that i adopted my 2 youngest were bios .i am now licensed for foster/adopt and waiting on a placement. good luck you are not alone. however there does not seem to be much specific information on single men adopting. maybe we are to busy parenting to write a book

[Indy]

I just saw this thread. I am another single dad with 9 adopted sons.