[Calla2414]

Hello everyone!

I'm a single high school English teacher in Upstate NY, and I have been considering international adoption for the past several months. I recently attended my first adoption conference, and felt simply bombarded by the extent of information. However, I also knew coming from the conference that in my heart this is the path for me. It seemed that at each moment of sharing from parents who had already adopted, listening to the key note speaker on enduring relationships, and then watching recently adopted children playing that I felt a tear escape from my eye at the wonder of hope and possibility of having a child in my future...

I have been researching different agencies, and reviewing the homestudy process, while also considering different financial avenues. I would love to hear from people on the challenges they faced in going through this process. Was it simply a "grin and bear it" endeavour you faced because you knew the reward of a child was worth it? Or did you find an agency or other support to help you through the long wait?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Calla2414

[nawlinsmom]

Hi Calla2414 and welcome, you have started at the right place, this can be a very beneficial experience. It can help with questions you will have and with support. For me the process was slow going in the beginning and unfortunately, I knew nothing of these forums. However, I do have a very close cousin, whom is more of a sister that had adopted (private adoption) whom was very supportive. I think you need to surround yourself with as many people who have "been there, done that" as possible. These people will not only know how to work the system but they ease your fears when you feel that this will never happen. I am sure if you start working with an agency they will be able to stear you to people in your area who you have worked with and if they are like a lot of adoptive parents, they will want to help you and share their stories, knowledge and success with you. Good luck.

[2Bulgarianbeauties]

Welcome! I have completed one IA from Bulgaria, and am in the middle of #2 from Kazakhstan. IA is a challenge, and there will be times you want to walk away, but you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and you will get there! I have a great agency that is very supportive. Many working there have adopted themselves, so have lived the process. That said, they still cannot get foreign governments to set court dates, stop changing their regulations, etc.

Choosing a country is also tricky, as things tend to change quickly. Countries that were open, suddenly shut, new forms get added etc. You need to be mentally be prepared to deal with that. Everything may go very smooth, but, as they say, be prepared for the worst, hope for the best! The only countries my SW is recommending right now are Guatemala, China and Kazakhstan.

Kay

[waitinginnj]

Welcome - my advice is to figure out what is important to you. Is race an issue? What is the ideal timing? Is the sex of the child important to you? Are you willing to travel? Can you travel for extended period of time? Then review country guidelines and find the countries that fit you best.

Then find the best agencies for those countries. Interview them about their processess - detailed. Understand their referral processes, how much support they give you with paperwork, who you will have as a consultant. And, get references of similiarly situated people. If you are single, talk with single parents to know how they were treated. Some agencies treat you the same, others like a second class citizen.

Also, interview homestudy agencies. Their processes can be different and really change your timing. Make sure that they know what needs to be included to support your adoption in the country of your choice. If possible, have your placement agency review the draft of the homestudy prior to finalizing it.

I adopted my duaghter from Russia two years ago. Feel free to reach out for more info, if it will be helpful.

Good Luck.