[txsunset]

Hi all!

I'm currently planning on adopting Fall of 2006 from Vietnam. However, I had thought that I would adopt 2 children at the same time, sibs or unrelated. My middle sister (who is planning to adopt her children with me) is contemplating the same choice. Most of our family members are trying to convince us that we should adopt one child at a time.

I know what I would like (and what I will probably do, LOL) but I would like to hear some other opinions (from people NOT related to me! )

2 at a time? Or is it better to go one at a time?

Thanks so much!

Kirstin

[momm2be]

Just my experience -

I would have loved to have two children - and it still is a possibility. There was apoint in during the adoption of my daughter I was ready to grab two at once, but never pursued it.

Why? _ after meeting my daughter I saw how emotionally needy she was. She really needed to be the only child for a while. I can't really say it was a function of her age, because many other 6 yr olds can do it. It really was her personality. She needed her mom without distractions from another child.

Not to say she would not have adjusted if there was another child, but it would have been extremely difficult, trying, exhausting for me. The process already pushes you to the extreme on the emotional scale. exhaustion follows the travel and first few months.

I see now it was right for my daughter to be placed alone, and if I would like a sister for her I will need to go back in a few years.

[Indy]

If you find a sibling group, you can consider both. If you find a single child, adopt that one. I would not adopt two children from different families at one time.

The benefit of adopting a sibling group is that the children already have that family tie. Another benefit is that they can keep each other entertained, while you take a break! You will need that as a single parent....trust me on this one, I know!

I have 2 sets of two in my mix. I would say that the bond between myself and the "sets of two" is stronger. One of the things that I attribute that to is that they have the sibling bond and that gives them more of a chance to bond with others. My "single" sons had to "fight their way" through the system and are therefore more emotionally detached. Does that make sense?

Hope this helps. By the way, whether you get one or two...your family will love them!

[waitinginnj]

I adopted one two year old. We had what I consider a rather easy transition, but a transition none the less.

Working full time - I can't imagine more than 1. But, I plan on remaining a single child family - so maybe I just can't imagine more than one at all.

What age children are you considering? This may make a significant difference in you planning.

Best of luck, whatever you decide.

[txsunset]

Thanks for the input ya'll!

I was considering an infant and then, maybe, a 1 or 2 year old... I know that it would be a handful (I was a live-in nanny for a family that adopted 2 from Russia) but I also know that I do want at least 2 children.

Ya'll are such a big help! Keep those thoughts coming! I'm fairly sure what I'm going to do but it helps to hear other people's take on the situation!

Kirstin

[aambpu]

I am considering adopting 2 children at the same time also. I am now looking at 2 infants. I think it can be done, granted it won't be easy going in the beginning. I think if you go into it knowing how hard it will be (with your "eyes open") and are ready for it - go for it. I have read posts of successful adoptions of 2 unrelated children at once.

Check out the 2 posts to my thread - International Adoption of 2.

Good Luck.

[dadfor2]

i would suggest that you do one at a time.

"I think if you go into it knowing how hard it will be (with your "eyes open") and are ready for it - go for it."

well, thats the problem, you never really know how hard its going to be, until the child is in your home, every child is so different. i learned that no books can really prepare you.

so IMHO, i would go with one, and then if you still would like another child, then go for it.....

only because each child is so different, and you never know.....i would hate to see both children come, with some major issues, and then you find you cant parent them....and then decide which one has to go...(trust me, this does happen)

at least with one, you will know what he/she will need and then decide if you can handle another.

trust me, as long as i am breathing on this earth, there will still be children out there that need families when you decide to have another one.

siblings is different strory though...and my opinions would be so different for each different sibling set...so i wont bore you with those..lol

[whiterhino42]

As far as two from 2 different families, that would be quite an undertaking all at once. But 2 siblings, I am considering. My homestudy says I want 1 but the first thing my worker brought up to me was 2 brothers. I originally planned on 2, scared myself out of it and said 1, now find myself drawn to siblings.
I have heard that siblings adjust better because they have each other, I'm new to this since I don't even have any yet because i'm in "waiting mode" but that is what I've been told by many. I am considering 1 OR 2 but I know if I get 1, I will be looking for a 2nd within a couple years.