[Indy]

I am a single (divorced) dad and am young, 41. Of course, my sons say I am OLD. I am a former Army officer, leaving the military with the rank of major. I had to give that up for my sons (with no regrets!).

I have adopted my sons from 4 different states, WA/TN/IN/MO. My soon to join us son is 11 (12 this month). My 13 year old was the youngest to join me at 8 years old. My oldest is 22 and I adopted him when he was 16.

My sons have the typical diagnosis of children that have come through the system: ADHD, ADD, ODD, PTSD, mild/moderate retardation (I prefer the term developmental disabilities), learning disorders, etc. I also have a son that is diagnosed with asperger's. They all call me "dad". They are also typical teens...talking to girls, listening to music, wanting a car, wanting money, wanting to stay up later, talking back, bickering, etc.

Oh yeah...and I love them all very much.

I hope to hear from the rest of you soon.

[mckenna]

i am a single adoptive mom of one son who is 4 (tomorrow). dispite my pleas for him to stop growing he tells me he has to so he can be a mommy or daddy some day! i also have a 4 month old foster/adopt daughter. she is just beautiful and my son is in love with her as she is with him. i can't wait to watch them grow up together.

my son came to me at 4 months but due to the neglect he suffered had some mild attachment issues. we have been working on them and he recenlty went to full time regular daycare and is thriving.

i started fostering when i was 25 (i am now 31 ). i have had 5 foster children in that time, all unde one at time of placement.

i look forward to meeting more of you. thanks indy for starting this thread!

[lambeausam]

I'm a single mom to four great boys. I have adopted the oldest two after fostering them first. Little O arrived last summer and is on track for reunification. J arrived in the fall and hopefully will be here forever. Each of the boys have varying levels of disabilities - dyslexia, auditory processing disorder, fine motor delays, attachment disorder. I really enjoy being a "boy's mom."

Sam

[kay]

Hi, I'm the mom of C, who's now 14. He came home shortly after his 9th birthday. He has an older sister still in the system, sadly, by her choice. She's in an "emancipation" group home now, and though our contact ebbs and flows, I guess I'm the closest to a mom that she'll have. (And to answer the obvious question: I'm not qualified at all to deal with her issues; I have no doubt at all that trying to parent her in my home would have destroyed our family. It's heartbreaking, and I've been tempted, but I know my limits.) C is very well adjusted and has no diagnosed disabilities, though I'm in the process of advocating testing for learning disabilities, because though he's bright, he has real trouble with tests. He's a normal teen boy, *very* athletic and active, and we're going through a period right now where he's just a joy to live with and be around! The teen troubles come and go, so I know I'll have the snarling moody kid back at some point, but right now I'm sure enjoying the breather! (And he's very handsome and fun, the girls all love him! So far he's just flattered, but we're going to have an interesting time when his hormones kick in!)

He is definitely the best thing in my life, I can't imagine life without him, and I'm getting such a kick out of watching him grow into a wonderful young man.

[MargieMe]

I am a 36 year old, single AA female who is trying to get through her home study so I can welcome an infant with at least one AA parent into her home.

[missw005]

I'm a single mom from Minnesota who's about to be 35. Have been a foster parent over 10 years in every aspect - long term, short term, respite, crisis/emergency, you name it.

I've been an adoptive mom since 2001. J is AA, 6, and came home from NJ at 2-1/2. He has a laundry list of issues, currently we are working on ADD/ADHD (new meds) and anger management. Q is 3, AA/Asian, and came home from OR at 1-1/2. He is usually calm and easygoing, but is currently going through the terrible 3's (the twos were a walk in the park!) - where EVERYTHING is a drama!

The boys were drug positive/addicted, devel. delayed, phsically delayed, had little to no speech, mild to moderate retardation (don't like it either, Indy), ADD, ADHD, emotional difficulties (that's saying it nicely), fine motor delays, failure to thrive, eating issues/disorders, sensory issues, you name it.

Currently I'm searching for my 3rd (or sib set) child(ren). Due to my agency's dang-near insistence on birth-order placement, am looking for a boy or boys 0-4, preferably 0-2. (Q would be fine in either baby or middle spot, J would lose his mind if he wasn't top dog! )

At the moment I am frustrated at the system - have waited over a year for my future child and it is NOT going well (or anything close to as planned). Am trying very hard to keep insanity at bay!

I'm also glad Indy started this thread, I think single adop. parents are under-represented in the adoption world.

Sandy

[nursebopper]

Hi! I'm a single mom to 5 boys, ages 13, 12, 2, 2 and 1. The first three are adopted and the last two are soon to be. I'm a little busy!!!

My 13 and 12 year-olds are bio. brothers who first came as foster sons and became official in 2004. They are wonderful boys, are A-B students, love to read, well behaved and fun. No diagnosis, except the typical early teen stuff.

My 2 year-old came as an adoptive placement at 18 months old with possible HIV, born positive, but he later sero-converted and is considered negative. Because of the unknown HIV status, he was a "difficult to place" child, that is, until they asked me.

My other 2 year-old and his 13mo. old brother are considered foster to adopt and we are in the TPR process and will go to trial in July (keep your fingers crossed ) Unfortunately, my 2 year-old was severely physically beaten and emotionally abused. Soooooo, I'm dealing with attachment issues, developmental delays, PTSD and a daily dose of at least one rage. The baby is great, luckily was placed in a very loving and nurturing foster home at 2 months old and transitioned to my home in Feb. to be adopted with his brother. Is currently diagnosed with mild CP and failure to thrive, but I have my doubts? Right now he is at average weight and is not delayed, so we will see what the future brings for this little guy.

OH and did I mention that I also work Just part-time, but I'm an RN at a busy Pediatric Rehab. clinic.

I mostly lurk, but I just got a new laptop, yeah! and hope to post more!

Jennifer
(Indy! Howdy neighbor, I'm in Greenwood and foster for Marion Co.)

[nawlinsmom]

Hi, I feel like I am probably the oldest here, I am a single mother and just turned 44 2 weeks ago, wow I hate even saying that. Anyway, I adopted my now 2 and 1/2 year old son at birth. His birthmother was a controlled Methadone user and also had Hepatitis B and C, which my son has contracted Hep C. He is still the best thing in my life, very happy, well adjusted and finally sleeping all thru the night. It was very rough at first and he did not sleep until he was almost 16 months old but I would do it again in a second. I love being a mom and I am trying to add to our family again thru domestic independent adoption. I had a failed match just this past March but jumped right back into the game. I admire all of you that are single parents of multiple children. I hope to need your advise, wisdom and suggestions on how to make it all work very soon. Take Care all, and age is just a number right?????

[gregorysparents]

OK....I confess, I feel like a stalker. I am not single (well, unless it's during planting, hay or harvest seasons). I read this thread because Indy started it. I adore Indy and I am also from Indiana so.......Indy get's my attention sometimes!! I keep waiting for Indy to adopt me - but he is only adopting boys (I'm guessing)!!!

All of you are wonderful (sorry Indy, you have to share the spot light now!!). I can't believe how many children you each are raising.

CONGRATULATIONS and THANK YOU for being who you are!!

Christina

[Withay]

Hi all -

First, nawlinsmom, I've got you beat by a bit over 5 years on the age thing. You're right, age is just numbers that says how long you've been on God's green earth.

I've been a foster mom for almost three years and in that time have had 22 kids for anywhere from 1 day to 11 months (length of stay). Of these kids, all but 5 have been under one year at time of placement. Included are 7 newborns. One little girl is back after being in a relative placement that failed (foster only).

Due to some technicalities she is to reunified within the next month or so. She is a wonderful little girl, who will be one tomorrow.

I've been working with her (M) on signing simple signs. Yesterday I put a barrette on the window ledge while combing her hair. She grabbed it and started to put it in her mouth. I said "M" and signed no,no to her and she gave the barrette to me. I proceeded to work on her hair and put a barrette in, but it wasn't quite right so I took it out and stuck it between my teeth while I combed her hair again. I realized that M was looking up at me and signing 'no, no'. Not bad for almost one year old who has been working on signing for only one short month.

Blessings to all,

[Indy]

I know there are more of you out there! Lurkers...short timers....long timers. Let's see who all comes to visit our forum.

This forum may say "single parents", but all are welcome! You too, gregorysparents! Parents are parents and we all deal with many of the same issues, when it comes to dealing with our children.

Yes...gregorysparents, I only adopted sons. They are cheaper when they get married!

Welcome to all!

[lambeausam]

Originally Posted by Indy

Yes...gregorysparents, I only adopted sons. They are cheaper when they get married!

Amen brother!!!!

However, I have a feeling that one day these boys will have to deal with a little sister, especially if M gets his way. Last night we were leaving a store and walking through parking lot. Out of the blue, M says, "Mommy we need a girl baby." I asked him, "Why?" He said, "well, you are our only girl and we need two." Well, as most foster parents will tell you...only time will tell!

Sam

[mckenna]

oh lam, those boys do need a little sister, they are so fun to dress!!! lol!

nawlin's mom, glad to see you around. glad you are back on the adoption wagon!

[cynthia900]

Hi

I'm Cynthia. I adopted my oldest through NJ DCFS as a newborn - she turns 6 on Saturday. My second I adopted independently as a newborn. I signed up with an agency for number 3 in March and am waiting to be matched.

Indy - thanks for starting this thread. There are always lots of folks reading the posts on this thread but rarely do they come out to play....

I was wondering as I read through the thread why everyone feels the need to talk about their children in terms of their diagnoses? I don't recall any other intro threads where this happens (except maybe a special needs board)? Just seemed interesting...

I have only adopted girls and hope to adopt another newborn girl - they are fun to dress and I love all the girly girl stuff.

Look forward to getting to know you better.

Cynthia

[nawlinsmom]

Cynthia, just wanted to respond to your question, for me I don't have a need to talk about my son's diagnosis, but it is part of who he is and we are not ashame of that. I probably would not have mentioned it but when I saw others sharing personal information about their children decided to share as well. It is something that has to be delt with daily and does impact our daily lives.

I would love to have a daughter added to our mix as well, I agreee the dresses and girly girl stuff is wonderful. But to tell you the truth I think my son has as many pairs of shoes as I do..... HAHA... Take Care