[hotspice58]

Hi, I'm Millie, 47, single (through divorce); adopting my 2 foster sons: L, 8 should be done mid-June; P, 11 by the end of the year. They are bio brothers but P was in a group home for sexually abusing his sis and setting fires. He was abused by his bio dad. I've fostered 10 kids; just 1 teenager. I would HAVE TO HAVE A HUSBAND to foster another teenager. My 15 yo (he was 14 when I got him) was either RAD or had some type of attachment disorder. He was the oldest one I had so I had NO experience with him. Love was not enough although I knew he wants to be with me. His bio mom is getting housing and there's a court date so maybe he can "go home". When I buy my house (currently living with mom), I can foster more and I will definitely adopt. I'm going to try adoptuskids.org.

[MareBear]

I'm Mary and I'm in the process of adopting from the foster system in WA state. I'm 24 years old and currently a special education teacher. I'm adopting a lil' boy who will be about 2 years old.

It seems every time I get through one hoop I have six more to jump through. I'm learning patience through this...that's for sure.

Everyone asks if I will ever have any bio kids and I probably will...now just isn't the time. I have no doubt I'll get married in the future but wanted to start my family sooner so adoption it is! I guess working with students who are in the foster system and are abused just made my heart all the more ready to adopt my own lil' guy!

[Yash]

Wow! How did I miss this site? My name is Yash. I'm waiting for a court date to finalize my son, Jory's adoption. He was placed at 5-days-old and is now a healthy, active, truck lovin' 16 1/2-month-old. He is the love of my life.

I will officially start the paperchase for his sister, Layla, in the summer. I've giving fost/adopt a break. I'm hoping to adopt as young as possible from Vietnam.

And I'm on the waiting lists for singles at different agencies for China. I should be getting a call to start the paperchase around 2008 or 2009.

I'll keep my license up-to-date just in case. You never know what might happen.

[keesluvrabby]

I am hoping to join the ranks of the single parents soon. But unlike you Indy, I will only be having daughters. The child I am trying to adopt at this time is almost 12. We should talk. She'll be dating in a few short years. (20 more by my book...but her ideas are different!!!)

[Stacytoadoopt]

I'm Stacy, and in the process of adopting a beauty from Guatemala. She just turned 11 months old, and I am waiting to hear I am out of PGN... (have been waiting a while).

I explored various options to have a child come into my life - domestic adoption (being single they said it might or might not happen in the next 3-5 years), foster-adopt - that scared me! (hopefully no one takes offense) Tried to get preg. Well, that didn't happen. then explored the wonderful world of international adoption. Started in eastern europe, spent a year there, then left that agency and signed with another one and here we are.

I too wondered where all the single parents were!

forgot, you were interested in ages too - 40... hoping to have my daugher home before I turn 41 in Aug (would be nice before she turns 1 in July, but...)

[Stacytoadoopt]

[quote=cryswright] I hope to adopt a newborn (under 6 months) from Guatemala. I had initially thought to aim for Spring 2007, beginning the official process in Fall 2006 (shorter process typically in Guatemala), but I am wondering if I should try to do this sooner....

I would recommend you talk to some agencies - there it talk of delays in 2007. I have heard Kaz is moving well now. When I signed up last April, the expected time frame was 4-6 months after you receive your referral - it is now 6-8 months if things go smoothly (note my little one is now 11 months old)

One question I have is how you all decided to time your adoptions.

I also tried to time things - didn't work at all

Another question... how did you all even begin to choose adoption agencies? And does anyone have a recommendation for agencies for Guatemalan adoptions?

I'll PM you my agency

[iwrite]

Hey everyone... I'm Em and I'm doing my research for single parent, international adoption. I have no idea when i'll be able to start the paperchase - there's so many factors that it depends on right now - but I promised myself it will be by June of 2008. I know that's a long ways away, but i wanted to get prepared now so the minute I'm able I can just jump right in!

[G35Guy]

I would be grateful if any of you could PM me the agencies/atorneys/etc that you used. I'm a single male (30) looking to adopt a newborn (preferably a boy). I haven't gotten much response at all from the "Getting Started" forum. I'm in Ohio, but willing to work with a national agency if it will make the process move faster, or help to find a match more easily.

[cdgjd]

Originally Posted by Indy

I am a single (divorced) dad and am young, 41. Of course, my sons say I am OLD. I am a former Army officer, leaving the military with the rank of major. I had to give that up for my sons (with no regrets!).

I have adopted my sons from 4 different states, WA/TN/IN/MO. My soon to join us son is 11 (12 this month). My 13 year old was the youngest to join me at 8 years old. My oldest is 22 and I adopted him when he was 16.

My sons have the typical diagnosis of children that have come through the system: ADHD, ADD, ODD, PTSD, mild/moderate retardation (I prefer the term developmental disabilities), learning disorders, etc. I also have a son that is diagnosed with asperger's. They all call me "dad". They are also typical teens...talking to girls, listening to music, wanting a car, wanting money, wanting to stay up later, talking back, bickering, etc.

Oh yeah...and I love them all very much.

I hope to hear from the rest of you soon.

I think it is great what you have done!! I am just starting the adoption process as a single mom, so I am looking forward to getting to know fellow single parents!!!

[hotspice58]

To Indy and all the other single dads (and single moms who know what they're doing): how do you talk to your kids about sex? P, my 11 yo had a "love letter" in his backpack; it was from a girl at camp. I sat him down and was talking to him but I don't want to leave anything out.
1. Just peck; no tongue kissing (the girl asked him if he knew how).
2. No sex until he's much older
3. Use protection when he has sex
4. No means no.

What else??

[shaylynn]

Hi everyone
I am a single 42 year old female and I have been doing foster care now for 6 years and have adopted a sibling group of three which are now 6,8, and almost 10. I continue to also do foster care and currently have a 3, 4, and 5 year old which will probably be terminated on but I had to tell them no. 1: because that would be 6 teenagers at one time later on(and I know my sanity would not be found anymore) and 2: the ICWA applies to them and I am not of native blood heritage. I have had 14 kids so far but no little tiny babies Someday I hope! My boy wants me to adopt another boy so he can have a brother but of course the girls want me to adopt 1 or 2 girls so the boys are outnumbered. Told them that we will just have to wait and see what the future holds. (I keep my sanity by Dr. Pepper and M&M's)

[Dottie4k]

Hey! I am a 33 yr old single mom of four. I have been a foster/adoptive parent for about three yrs now. In that time, I have adopted three (9yr old boy and two seven yr old girls-not twins) and am fostering one (6 months). I have enjoyed reading this thread, but was wondering why there is not more discussion of everyday problems in this forum. For instance, who knew football pads could be so difficult to figure out? Why didn't someone tell me that you had to be a rocket scientist to get a football helmet off without ripping off your ears? How do you date with all these kids? Where do you find a date that doesn't run when you tell them you have adopted so many kids? How do you get your kids to be comfortable with you dating? Holy Cow, its awkward having the birds and bees discussion with your nine yr old son!! How can I make that easier on both of us? How do you get your son to football practice, your daughter to cheerleading , and feed the baby all at the same time? What do you say to people who think that you are nuts? What do you say to yourself on those days that YOU think YOU are nuts! How in the world do we keep food on the table, clothes on their backs, and save for college? Who knew that it would hurt so much to watch your kid get pummelled on the football field? How do we find time for ourselves? I guess, I am just looking for some people that run into the same obstacles as I do. Most of our kids do have diagnosis (like it was stated in previous posts), but they also have everyday kid issues too. It is great to have contact with people that experience both on a daily basis as well. I mean, I have great friends and a great support system. But they are all either married, single with no kids, or single because of divorce. My situation is different from all of those scenarios.
Kristina

[Yash]

Kristina,

Your post made me smile. Thanks for the heads up about football gear. I know what I have to look forward to in some years to come.

I don't know why more day to day problems aren't posted, but I think they would totally be welcome.

I'm currently going through the joys and struggles of trying to find an affordable, decent, double stroller. I never knew it would be such a task. Or that there was so much to know about all the different types of strollers out there.

I haven't even attempted dating since my son came home 19 1/2 months ago and now I have a second child. But before I can get to the dating part, where do you find available men? Dating was so much easier in college.

Yash

[advocateteacher]

Hi, I'm Jen, 28 and new to the forums here. I have always known I was going to adopt and that onviction sure has been helped by the odd realiation that I have never once dated a man who wanted biological children.

Everything I do now is to help the process and my eligibility. I am single but have a long term boyfriend. I am in graduate school (looks like for the next 5 years to get my PhD) and am having trouble accepting that I may have to wait until the end of that process to adopt.

I have looked into programs in Peru, Guatemala, and Colombia. I have no preference for gender, knowing my child is out there and that's all. I trust I'll find the child I am here to parent. But if only I didn't have to wait so darn long!

In the meantime (and for the past 4 years) I am researching programs, cultures, parenting issues, etc. And the waiting? I guess it's good training for the actual time between referral and adoption...*sigh*

Jen

[tennessee_dad]

I guess I'll be the first post of 2007 on this thread! My name is Chad and I'm a single adoptive dad in Tennessee. My son is 13 and has been with me for two years this month. He is an incredible kid and has come SO far in the past couple of years.

He has two younger brothers who have just come into foster care in the past year and unless there is some unforeseen circumstance they will be joining us this Summer. So I'll probably be around asking for advice occasionally.

Chad