[Net933]

Hi all,

I just want to know how long has everyone been waiting for their child since the approved homestudy? Everytime I read the threads, I see couples saying they have only waited a few months. I just wanted to ask all the singles, how has your experience been. I am single and adopting domestically. I've been waiting 6 months since my completed homestudy. Has anyone had any experience with that? I would love to hear from those who have a child placed already and those who are waiting.

Thanks,

Net

[walshliz]

I actually started this process a year ago in October & finished my Home Study in December. But, then I quit my job in February and spent four months looking for a new one. As soon as I provided my new job information, things got rolling and I leave for my first trip the end of October. So - I guess it was really three months (then four months break) then four months so a total of six-seven months.

[CA Single Dad]

I'm a single male hoping to adopt domestically in the state of California. I have been home studied for 2 years. I had some false starts and one placement that did not work out last year. I have been waiting for almost a year now and keep going regularly to adoption training and support group.

With all the hundreds and thousands of kids in the foster care system...I can't help but feel like I'm being descriminated against by the social workers in the state. I was told by the agency where I got homestudied that I would have no trouble adopting if I was willing to take an older child or bi-racial. I'm not too particular.

What are your experiences after your homestudy?
How long have you been waiting to hear about a match? Any successful single men?

I hope to hear from other single dads that have adopted either domestically or abroad.

Thanks,

[traceyem]

Hi.

The whole process for me (from choosing an agency to my daughter coming home at 2 days of age) took almost exactly 6 months, so my message is, don't give up hope - singles can have quick placements too!

[Grrltrouble]

I hear you, CA single dad. I started this whole thing a year and a half ago, and had my first home visit last october. Don't know when my homestudy was actually "done", cause communication is horrible with my worker. I, too, am looking for an older child, boy, possibly sibs, any race...supposedly the exact "hard to place" child that all the recruiting campaigns talk about. I am really very disgusted about the whole thing and am trying so hard not to be bitter. It's just that putting in all the time and effort and the classes and the books and the conferences and everything, you'd think there would be some kid that would do well in my home. don't know if it is the system that is so slow and cumbersome, or just that i made a horrible agency choice, or got stuck with the bad worker, or is it ME?!?!?...i just don't have anything to compare my experience to.
i really really wanted to adopt, but i've recently started browsing the sperm catalogs. it's not at all what i wanted, but i could have theoretically had two babies by now. it's really pretty sad.

[Destiny]

From the time that the agency had all of my paperwork until I brought my daughter home was 2 days! This is a very short time to be picked for a child and bring him/her home. I feel that God had a lot to do with the fact that she was placed with me! I would love to chat with anyone that has any questions.

[mommyoftwo]

My first adoption was foster to adopt..I was approved in February and my daughter, who was 15 months at the time, was placed with me three months later...for my second adoption, I went the private route. I was put in the "books" in mid January and my son was born the end of April..so I only waited three months the second time..It DOES happen. Don't give up!!!!

[BethanyB]

Hey there! I just wanted to share that I took 7 weeks of path training through a private organization hired by the state of NJ (Just Babies), then it took about three weeks to get a homestudy done and be certified. After I was certified, I waited four days until I got the call about my son. He was two weeks old, and I went the next day to visit him in the hospital. The day after that, the SW brought him to my house! So it went really fast for me. I was open to any race and that helps things. It can happen! Don't give up! And if you are working with the state, Keep Calling Them! And be nice, but let them know you are there. Good luck.

[JewelMarie]

It is wonderful to hear of the quick placements. My home study was completed Nov. 2003, approved Feb. 2004 and I have been waiting since then.

Jewel

[Destiny]

Jewel,

Don't give up there is a child out there for you!

[JewelMarie]

Ahh Destiny,

Your words made me smile and encouraged me today. Thank you.

[Cemm]

I had started my Home study in Septmeber 2004 and have my process completed Dec 2004. Everything went very smooth, i used a local agency in Guatemala.

[mommyoftwo]

Jewel...are you looking for a newborn? Specific gender/ethicity? I think Bethany is right when she said that if you are open to any race, the wait is less....good luck to everyone...

[JewelMarie]

I am looking for a child between ages 6-10. I can't give up now.

[maureentherese]

Well, my homestudy was approved back in November or December of 2002. Initially I was offered a 12-year-old girl with schizophrenia, bi-polar, and other problems. As a single parent of two birth teens, I didn't feel there were enough hours in the day to truly give this girl the care and attention she deserved. We were offered yet another girl who'd been very abused, and though we tried with lots of visits, she was very abusive to my daughter and acted out sexually frequently with my son. I felt that we were not ready for her, either; she was adopted by her forever family at Christmas. So, though I was offered two potential placements, have not adopted as yet.

Now, I both feel "overly picky" and have been branded as such by our local HHS folks. I just wanted to truly provide everything the child needs, and would be honored to accept a sibling group, bi or multi-racial and pretty much any age as my children are 18 and 16 and will be in college soon... But the wait ....let's just say our HHS folks told me that they've placed me on a list of "potential parents we'll never call." I feel as if I am punished for trying to do what was right, and also feel guilty because if they had been born to me, I would have accepted them, right?

So, I have guilt and sadness, disappointment, and yet still feel that my decision was the right one so far. Thoughts comments ?